Journal Excerpt

I have to confess my failure at the 99 cents store. I'm going to finish tomorrow's message now but when I went to the 99 cents store they didn't have any shopping carts. That was already a bit frustrating as I had a big purse and much to buy and I had to get a little basket instead. That little basket quickly filled up and got too heavy, so I asked a clerk if I could leave it near her while I shopped with another basket. I asked again until I got a verbal confirmation from her, not just a nod. I put it in between her and a closed roped-off register so someone would have to make a concerted effort to get to it. When I was ready to check out it was gone. I asked the clerk and she didn't know but she paged the same guy that was supposed to get the shopping carts in the first place. It turned out he had moved my stuff and thrown more stuff in with it. I was disgusted with that man. When he tried to take out the extra stuff I said "Just let me do it because I know what's mine." and I was just throwing stuff out of my basket. Meanwhile I'm also fussing at the guy who was just watching helplessly. I'm telling him what happened and that the least he could do was apologize. The man wouldn't say a word! He was an Indian and it's possible his English isn't even that good [and he may not have understood me].  

Regardless I failed the test of showing him love. This was a small test, just like at the post office but I failed this time. I felt bad later. And I noticed that I had no ill feelings whatsoever for the rude man at the post office. After my undeserved act of kindness we parted on great terms. With the incompetent worker at the 99 cents store I resented him even after I left the store. Another reason to love the hell [I mean that literally] out of people - to keep your life free from enemies and resentment.