BayNVC Bulletin
February 2010
Bay Area Nonviolent Communication is working to create a world where everyone's needs matter and people have the skills to make peace.

"Real fearlessness is the product of tenderness. It comes from letting the world tickle your heart, your raw and beautiful heart. You are willing to open up, without resistance or shyness, and face the world. You are willing to share your heart with others." 
- Chogyam Trungpa, Shambala: The Sacred Path of the Warrior
Hello BayNVC Community,Erica Grevemeyer

A student in one of our Foundations classes recently lamented to me about just how hard it is to choose the path of Nonviolent Communication when the path she knows (involving retaliation to "right a wrong") provides such immediate and reliable gratification.  Her empathy and self-empathy skills lack speed and confidence, although they are theoretically how she would like to respond, if she could trust that her needs would still be on the table at the end of the day.

I have to admit, the tools we offer at BayNVC are deceptively simple.  I can explain the basic principles to you in an elevator ride, yet the only way I've been able to create long-term change in how I choose to interact with others is practice. . .ongoing, dedicated practice.  These are not even skills I believe any of us can acquire and then simply "have"; it takes continuous dedicated practice on a daily basis for me to choose connection over disconnection, and to choose vulnerability as a path to real strength.


The good news is that there are lots of ways to get support for your NVC practice.  I have heard over and over again from others, and have experienced myself, how powerfully the BayNVC retreat environment transforms the options of empathy, self-empathy or self-expression from merely a "nice idea" to a viable choice.  What does the world look like when you know that everyone around you is trying to hold all of our needs with care?  Find out at our February Living Peace Retreat, one of several upcoming retreats, or consider joining us for any of our other events to bolster your practice.

In partnership,
Erica Grevemeyer
Celebrator/Interim Director
Bay Area Nonviolent Communication
P.S.  I hope you can join us for our Town Hall Meeting on Saturday, March 6th, and help determine the future of our organization.

Miki KashtanVulnerability as a Spiritual Path
by Miki Kashtan
Ask yourself a simple question: What is a good baby? If you have been raised in a Western culture, chances are you know the answer right away (whether or not you agree with it): A good baby is one that doesn't cry! The training against vulnerability starts very early in life....
Click here for the full article, and here for a self-connection worksheet.

Kathy Simon headshotThe upcoming Living Peace Retreat, led by Kathy Simon and graduates of our Leadership Program, is a perfect place to work on delving into the kind of vulnerability - and power - that is described in this article.  Kathy's students especially appreciate her ability to create an atmosphere of safety and trust that allows for exploration of deeper authenticity, for "sitting with" fear and other emotions, and finding new paths for acting with choice and awareness.
A Reexamination, Renewal and Healing of our
Communication Across Differences
a 10-week series starting March 25 in San Francisco
Nancy KahnJoin Nancy Kahn in working on a cutting edge process that focuses on the integration of NVC and traditional diversity practices to connect across individual and collective differences.
Nancy's passion is bringing the tools of NVC to diverse settings that include communities of color, youth, and other under-represented groups.  Click here for more information; email or call Nancy at 415-336-0992 directly to register.
Change Your Job Without Changing Jobs
Bring NVC to Work
Making Collaboration Real
with Miki Kashtan
Telecourse starting Monday, February 1; retreat May 10-14 in Northern California 
In this 3-session telecourse you will learn to:  
- Bring authenticity and presence to your work without appearing "touchy-feely"
- Support others in seeing the value of relationships and connection for achieving effectiveness
- Distinguish between using NVC in the workplace and talking about NVC in the workplace. 
Learn more here; telecourse registration is through NVC Academy
Empathy in the Workplace: A Workshop for Bay Area Non-Profits and Activist Groups with Miki Kashtan
Friday, March 26, 12-2pm in Oakland
Would you like to increase effectiveness and connection in your organization?  Are you tired of difficult conversations and strenuous meetings and would like some manageability in your work life?  Offered in service to the community, we are particularly hopeful that groups and organizations that may not have a training budget will send some key individuals to this event.  Learn more and register here.

people at retreatLiving Peace Retreat and NVC Immersion Program
Formerly CNPP - now in its fifth year!  Led by Kathy Simon
"My family life has improved so much as a result of my participation in the...Immersion Program.  I am grateful for my ability to hear my husband and children from a place of compassion and for the closeness and trust this has built between us."
- Mom, Berkeley, 2009 Participant
Attend the retreat only, February 12-17 near Santa Cruz, CA, or join our Immersion Program for 9 months of community- and skill-building and personal transformation.
2010 North America NVC Leadership Program 
Limited Space Still Available
Understand NVC - Live NVC - Share NVC
"Participating in the Leadership Program has been one of the most meaningful experiences of my life."
- Jane Connor, LP 2004 and 2005, Binghamton, NY
Click here for information or to apply.
Newt Bailey and NVC Live teamIt's Official:  NVC Increases Empathy
The Gamble Institute completed a research project to determine the impact of NVC training on male parolees' level of empathy last summer.  The results were statistically significant!  Read more about the project and Collaborative Trainer Newt Bailey's involvement here.
BayNVC Receives $10,000 Grant!
We'd like to thank the van Loben Sels / RembeRock Foundation for supporting our Safer Communities project with $10,000 for our 2010 program!
Article by Miki Kashtan Published in Tikkun Magazine
"Wanting Fully Without Attachment" is available online - read it here.
Consciousness Transformation Community Launches February 18!
Anyone who is ready to commit to whatever it takes to living an
interdependent, conscious, and compassionate life -- regardless of
level of experiece with NVC -- is invited to the Consciousness Transformation Community (CTC), led by Miki Kashtan.  The program
begins with an opening call on February 18 to explore the meaning of
the core CTC commitments for each of us. 
New NVC Practice Groups to Check Out:
- Restorative Circles Practice Group
Thursdays 7-9pm through March 25, 2010 in Oakland.  Led by Gail Claspell and Itzel Damaris.  Read more here
- Bay Area Men's NVC Support Group
Every first and third Monday from 7:30-9:15pm in North Oakland.  Read more here, or contact Tim Silk at 510-559-3129.
- Nurturing Sustainable Relationships: Self-FULLness
with Cheri Krause and Jared Finkelstein, BayNVC Collaborative Trainer
Fridays, 7:30-9pm in Berkeley.   Read more here, email Cheri or call 510-545-6846. 
Metta Mentors Nonviolence Program
The Metta Center works with a cohort of young adults to explore nonviolence through working in local organizations (including BayNVC last summer).  They are looking for hosts for mentees, possible mentees and stipends for mentees.  Read more here.
BayNVC is in need of the following:
- 2 flat-screen 19-inch monitors
- A heavy-duty manual paper cutter
- Three new desktop computers, PC platform, and latest version of Microsoft Office
           - please contact BayNVC.
- Set decor for the Conflict Hotline. Ideas? - please contact Susan.
- A laptop PC, less than 3 years old, for trainers to use at retreats - please contact Phoenix.
You're Invited:  BayNVC's Town Hall Meeting
Saturday, March 6, 2010, 10am - 4pm in Oakland.
Changes are coming to BayNVC. We invite you to join others in our community who have been touched, educated and served by BayNVC, as together we explore what BayNVC means to us and how it can evolve into a healthy future during challenging times. 
We will use a dynamic meeting process called Open Space, which invites you to host or attend conversations on topics that matter to you.
Please click here for more details.  
NVC on TV: Conflict Hotline
Watch the show live on Thursday, 2/11 and 3/4 at 7:30 on Channel 28 or 33 in Berkeley, or at  See past episodes here
Call in live during the show, 510-433-0700, or send in your conflict or hard-to-hear message to conflicthotline.
Volunteer cast and crew needed! Email conflicthotline.


Other Series
Upcoming Intros
Classes and Workshops
Intensives / Retreats

For a list of practice groups in the bay area and beyond,
click HERE.
More Information & Registration 
Since many of our
events fill quickly,
please consider pre-registering to ensure your space.  Occasionally, events are canceled due to a low number of registered participants.  If you are planning to attend, pre-registering will help ensure that the event will take place.  If an event is canceled, all pre-registered participants will be notified and you will have the choice of refund or transfer to another event.

  You may
pre-register by clicking the "Register Now" button at the bottom of most event descriptions, or by contacting our office at 510-433-0700 or  You will receive a confirmation email with driving and public transit directions.
  Parking is free at BayNVC's wheelchair accessible
 building near Piedmont Avenue in Oakland.  

HERE for a complete, up-to-date listing of
our retreats, study series, workshops
and practice
 groups in the Bay Area and beyond.
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Thank you.  We look forward to seeing you at some of our events! 
Contact Information

Click here to email us: BayNVC
Phone: 510-433-0700 or toll-free at 1-866-4-BAYNVC (1-866-422-9682)
Address:  55 Santa Clara Ave., Suite 203, Oakland, CA 94610

BayNVC trainers are available for individual, couple and family counseling; mediation and meeting facilitation; full and half-day NVC workshops at your organization (including diversity training); audio/video presentations; and trauma and conflict response.

Bay Area Nonviolent Communication is a non-profit organization and all financial contributions are tax deductible. For more information, or to donate online, click here.

To learn more about what people are doing with Nonviolent Communication worldwide, sign up for the CNVC Network News e-newsletter.
The Center for Nonviolent Communication (CNVC)
Phone: 505-244-4041 or 1-800-255-7696
Address:  5600 San Francisco Rd. NE Suite A, Albuquerque, NM 87109