Hello BayNVC Community,
November has arrived, and I, like many of you, turn my thoughts to my family of origin. This is a place where I anticipate both unconditional love and significant differences of opinion on politics, religion, environment, you name it.
For years, my strategy for connection has been to avoid conversation about the taboo topics in an effort to preserve the peace. Alternatively, I've tried to debate my way to a 'win' on these same topics. This led to more 'aliveness' for sure, but also acute awareness of the gulf between us.
A friend recently told me about a time she and her dad sat together watching Fox News: She stewing in anger at how "wrong-headed" these people were, he at ease with the only news that he trusts is accurate. My friend decided that rather than stew, she would get curious about what was really important to the speaker. She began to see that both parties were using the same phrases and were after the same ultimate goals; that both wanted their children to be happy and safe, wanted to have jobs and good health care.
When she explained her discovery to her dad, he responded somewhat angrily, "No, they don't, the left just wants to take away all of our money and have big government." After offering a few lines of empathy, she shared again what she had seen. They both softened, and he responded, "I guess we just want to get to that in different ways."
I am excited and hopeful that we might learn to share what is deeply meaningful to us with people who feel just as passionately as we do about a different perspective. If we can dare to approach the risky places over turkey (or Tofurky) dinner, I have hope that we will more compassionately approach those with whom we struggle to find common ground in other areas of our lives as well.
If this resonates for you, either finding ways to celebrate your passions together, or navigating family time with more grace and connection, I'm excited that we're offering a three-week series, Home for the Holidays
, in December.
Bay Area Nonviolent Communication
P.S. We're gearing up for BayNVC's annual celebration as well -- we hope to see you at Speaking Peace. Read more below.
Being Heard Can Make All the Difference
by Meganwind Eoyang, Staff Trainer
...My friend Julie Greene introduced me to Nonviolent Communication (NVC) in 1997. Julie told me that most people walk around with a deep well of unmet needs to be heard and to be understood. She suggested that the pain we have about not being heard can make it difficult to be present and at choice when conflicts arise. She encouraged us to receive as much empathy support as possible. Doing so, she suggested, could increase the possibility of our being fully present with ourselves and with others...
Click here for the full article.
About Meganwind Eoyang:
Meganwind Eoyang grew up fighting in gang wars on the South Side of Chicago, and then studied and taught martial arts to increase her sense of safety in a dangerous world. She was excited to discover that NVC offers clear steps for practicing the compassion, self love, and love for others which her Chinese, European and North American (and other) spiritual traditions invite us to live. She has been a staff trainer with BayNVC since 2004.
Are you ready for the holiday season? Meganwind will be offering a special 3-week series, "Home for the Holidays", in both Santa Rosa and Oakland this December. Begin building the kind of holidays you and your family will enjoy, and will savor later.
|Join us for Speaking Peace!
Sunday, November 15, 2009at the California Ballroom in Oakland
2:00 - 3:30 Optional Intro to NVC with Miki Kashtan
3:30 - 5:00 Presentation (videos, stories)
5:00 - 6:00 Refreshments and Socializing
Meet and connect with others in the BayNVC community. Learn about what BayNVC is doing to support the increase of compassionate communication locally and around the world. Bring a friend, volunteer, or bid in our silent auction. Childcare will be available during the presentation (3:30 - 5:00); be sure to reserve a spot for your child(ren). Email Judith
or call (510) 433-0700 to RSVP and for directions.
Open-Hearted Therapy Retreat
and Optional Year-Long Program
with Miki Kashtan and Roxy Manning
January 22-26, 2010 in Northern CA
More and more therapists are attracted to the principles of NVC and to its invitation to enter a genuine, human relationship with clients. Would you like to participate in a community of therapists seeking to practice and learn intensively together how to bring NVC most effectively to their practice and personal lives? CEU's available. Click here
to learn more and join us.
Also coming up with Miki:
NVC Integration and Mentoring
A Year-Long Teleclass Program
starting January 13, 2010
This program is designed for people who don't have easy access to local trainer support, and who are eager to embark on a serious study of NVC. The course may also be joined quarterly. Please click here
for more information and registration.
|NVC Mediation in Grass Valley
with John Kinyon Friday, November 13 - Sunday, November 15
10:00am - 5:00pm
Develop and strengthen the skills and consciousness of NVC to mediate conflict in all types of situations - from legal to business/organizational to personal and family relationships. Read more here, or to register contact Shoshi at 530-386-2415 or via email.
BayNVC Partners With Charter for Compassion
November 12 will be the official unveiling of the Charter for Compassion, which proclaims a principle often referred to as 'The Golden Rule.' BayNVC is proud to be an event partner. For information about the Charter and ways to participate in the celebrations, visit charterforcompassion.org
Support The CONFLICT HOTLINE!
Upcoming shows will air on Thursday, Nov. 12 and Thursday, Dec. 3. The show is a great way to introduce friends to NVC! Previous shows may be seen on YouTube
Send your conflict, hard-to-hear message, or other difficult situation to conflicthotline
, or call in live during the show at (510) 433-0700 between 7:30 - 8:15pm. Miki and the Conflict Hotline cast will demonstrate using NVC to transform the situation, and support you and other viewers in creating a world that works for all.
We're also looking for volunteers to appear live on the show and share their conflicts. You would be asked to arrive at the studio in downtown Berkeley at 5:30 p.m. and stay through the end of the show at 8:30 p.m. Please email conflicthotline
for more information.
The CONFLICT HOTLINE Production Coordinator Needed
This is an exciting opportunity to collaborate in the creation and development of this new show. Responsibilities include coordinating cast for the show and offering feedback on prior shows. This position is available as of January 2010 and is expected to last one year, requiring approximately five to ten hours of volunteer time per month. To learn more, please email conflicthotline.
Database / Website Testing Opportunites
Would you enjoy working with some appreciative fellow NVC volunteers and staff to bring BayNVC's next-generation website to life? We're looking for a couple of relatively tech- and internet-savvy volunteers to review our new website and test the software. Minimum three-month commitment requested. Please contact Pam
or call our office, 510-433-0700.
"Didi's Magic Keys" Visits the Bay Area December 2-10
We are very excited to welcome to the Bay Area an NVC-inspired children's play. "Didi's Magic Keys" has been playing throughout Israel for the past 10 years to enthusiastic responses from young audiences, parents and teachers. Now the play, geared to children ages 3-8, is having its U.S. premiere. There will be a performance at the Cubberly Community Center in Palo Alto, Saturday Dec. 5th at 10:00am (if we sell out we'll have an 11:00am performance also). For information, or to bring the play to your community or school, contact Rina Amir via email or at 650-793-0314.Coming in January 2010: An NVC-Inspired Preschool!
happytogether Preschool is an intimate, part-day program for 3- to 5-year-olds. The school will be inspired by Marshall Rosenberg's Nonviolent Communication and infused with the latest scientific research on nurturing happiness and compassion among children. Contact Monica via email or at (510) 705-2849.
BayNVC is in need of the following:
- Outdoor canopy for event booths - like this
- 2 flat-screen 19-inch monitors - A heavy-duty manual paper cutter
- Three new desktop computers, PC platform, and latest version of Microsoft Office
- A laptop PC, less than 3 years old, for trainers to use at retreats - please contact Francois.
Living Peace Retreat: Date Change!
Our annual spring Living Peace
retreat is happening February 12-17 (NOT March 12-17). Don't wait to reserve your spot!
2010 NVC Leadership Program
BayNVC's Leadership Program (LP) aims to nurture the spirit of compassion in people who want to live and teach NVC, to support their leadership development, and to contribute to internal, interpersonal, and social transformation. We're
now in our 8th year! Participants have come from around the world. Next year's program starts in January 2010. Interested applicants are encouraged to contact us
immediately. More information is available here
For a list of practice groups in the bay area and beyond, click HERE.
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