BayNVC Bulletin
August 2009
Bay Area Nonviolent Communication is working to create a world where everyone's needs matter and people have the skills to make peace.

"When your fear touches someone's pain, it becomes pity; when your love touches someone's pain, it becomes compassion."
 - Stephen Levine
Hello BayNVC Community,Erica Grevemeyer
I have heard the word "empathy" more in the news this month than I can ever remember.  It is exciting to me to imagine that the work we and others are doing is gaining in importance on the national stage; perhaps we are closer to the "tipping point" than we even knew.  More and more people across the country seem to know that a key to real peace and understanding may lie in our collective ability to really hear and receive each other.

At the same time, many of the occurrences of this word have been less than appreciative.  As I have really listened to these news items, I have wondered if there is fear that if we hear another's truth, there will no longer be room for our own. It is precisely the distinction between empathy and pity or sympathy that inspires me in this work.  I am thrilled to have the skills to hold your needs and mine in the balance; to touch your experience and still allow myself to fully inhabit my own experience.  I am also happy that we offer workshops around the Bay Area and beyond, to support others in gaining & strengthening these skills.

We are also celebrating that our new roving empathy street teams are out in our communities reaching more people, by offering empathy to anyone who asks for it.  Coming soon to a street corner near you!  (Follow us on Facebook).

You can learn more about saying 'yes' from a place of considering your own needs in our featured article, from BayNVC co-founder Miki Kashtan, "Opening to 'Yes'" (below).
Erica Grevemeyer
Celebrator/Interim Director
Bay Area Nonviolent Communication

MikiKashtanOpening to "Yes"
By Miki Kashtan

Have you ever experienced an immediate "no" when being asked to do or give something? In my experience, that "no" is usually reactive and disconnected, not a genuine response that comes from connection and from holding all the needs in front of me...

Click here for the full article. 
...As with every NVC practice, the point of engaging with these questions is not so that we become a "better person" by saying "yes" more of the time. The point is, rather, to have more ease in reaching inner and outer connection, as well as having more internal freedom to make authentic, non-reactive choices.

If you would like to explore this practice on your own, we have a journal you can work with on your own or with a buddy. This journal can support you in continuing to learn about your "no" and your "yes".

BayNVC co-founder Miki Kashtan is leading a daylong workshop and a teleclass on this topic in August, and a retreat for women, for which we still have a few openings.  On September 27, she'll be leading a workshop on Facilitating Groups with NVC.

Miki plans to share more brief articles in the future and welcomes your questions and feedback. Send an email to Miki.

Institute of Noetic Sciences landscape
Women Saying YES to What Is: 
A Retreat for Inner Peace and Transformation
August 14 - 19, 2009 in Petaluma, CA
with Miki Kashtan and Anne Bourrit

Are you up for living more courageously?  Are you drawn to being with a group of women to delve into deep work for yourself and others? Are you longing for confident, gentle support in becoming more fully yourself?  Then this women's retreat may just be for you.

Limited space is still available!  Click here to learn more.
Oren SoferMindfulness in NVC:
Building a Foundation of Awareness
Sept. 19th, 9:30 - 5:00pm in Berkeley
with Oren Sofer
Whether you are experienced in NVC or newer to the practice, come learn and deepen your understanding of how mindfulness - present moment awareness - can support our communication.  In this daylong workshop we will explore some of the basics of mindfulness practice, learn specific tools for integrating awareness into dialogue, and apply these tools to the NVC model.

NVC Mediation Retreats and Programs 
West Coast or East Coast!
NVC Mediation 5-Day Residential Retreat & Year-Long Training Programjohn k & ike small
5-Day Retreat: October 22-27, 2009 in Petaluma, CA
Year-Long Program: October 2009 - August 2010
with Ike Lasater & John Kinyon
Read more and register here.
Northeast Region NVC Mediation 5-Day Residential Retreat & 9-Month Training Program
5-Day Retreat: January 14-19, 2010, location TBD 
9-Month Program: January - November 2010
with Ike Lasater & John Kinyon
Email John for more information, or call 510-222-5574.


Thank You to Nina Koevets and Metta Center 
BayNVC is thrilled to be a part of the Metta Center for Nonviolence Education's "Metta Mentors" program. The program is a 10-week immersion in applied nonviolence. We've hosted mentee Nina Koevoets, and have much enjoyed her presence here, her outside perspective, her enthusiasm and her clarity around what is important to her, all of which has helped to launch our community outreach program & empathic listening posts.
Get Involved!
Watch - Call In To - Appear Live On - the CONFLICT HOTLINE
BayNVC's TV show the Conflict Hotline airs live on (or Channel 28 or 33 in Berkeley) at 7:30 p.m. the first Thursday of every month.  It's a great way to introduce friends to NVC!  You can see past episodes on YouTube.
Do you want to say something to someone that might be hard for that person to hear?  Would you like support in responding to a message that is hard for you to hear?  Send your hard-to-hear message, or other difficult situation, to  Or call in live during the show at (510) 433-0700 between 7:30 p.m. and 8:30 p.m. on Thursday, August 6.  Miki and the Conflict Hotline cast will demonstrate using NVC to transform the situation, and support you and other viewers in creating a world that works for all.

We're also looking for volunteers to appear live on the Thursday, August 6 show and share their conflicts.  These volunteers will be asked to arrive at the studio located in downtown Berkeley at 5:30 p.m. and stay through the end of the show at 8:30 p.m.   Please email for more information.
Write a Review of BayNVC
Let people know how BayNVC has helped you.  We have a listing on the Great Nonprofits website where you can add your personal review of our organization.  You can also write a review on our Yelp listing, or join us on Facebook.
Volunteer - New Outreach Opportunities!
We are excited to offer some new ways to support BayNVC's mission.  In addition to in-office opportunities, we have many new outreach tasks we'd love help with.  Many of them require as little as an hour a month of your time and can be done from home.  Your commitment can be as large or as small as you want.  See our Volunteer Opportunities page for more details.
Radio Interview with Miki Kashtan
On Friday, August 7, 2-3 pm, Miki will be interviewed by Jeffery Low on The Marriage Path, a weekly show on KSVY 91.3 Sonoma.  Miki plans to discuss the principles and practices that support all relationships (not only marriage) in thriving.  On-line streaming available at
The show will be permanently posted for downloading at  (It usually takes 2-3 weeks for the show to be posted)
Sit for Change: 2nd Annual Sit-A-Thon
BayNVC is partnering with Center for Transformative Change to support social change grounded in inner transformation.  Raise pledges and enjoy a great day of meditation, yoga, live music & spoken word on Sept. 19 at MLK Civic Center Park in Berkeley. (You can offer support from wherever you are, even if you can't join us at the park!)  For more information:
BayNVC is in need of the following:
  • We've outgrown our phone system!  And we're looking for a small business system with a minimum 8-line capacity.  Please email newphonesystem.
  • 2 flat-screen 19-inch monitors
  • A heavy-duty paper shredder
  • An industrial paper cutter
  • New or gently used office chairs
  • An air purifier (our office is near the freeway).  Something like this: 160R2 Room Air Purifier.
    -please contact BayNVC.
  • A laptop PC, less than 3 years old, for trainers to use at retreats - please contact Francois.
Speaking Peace 2009
We are delighted to invite you to join us for our 5th annual free celebration and fundraising brunch at the California Ballroom, 1736 Franklin Street in Oakland on November 15th, 2009 at 11:30 a.m. Save the date! 

SP05 volunteers

 Volunteers Needed
We are looking for people to contribute their time and talent to participate in the fun of co-creating Speaking Peace 2009 with us. Anything from key responsibilities for the event to small tasks could be helpful.
Learn more!
2010 BayNVC Leadership Program
Do you feel drawn to sharing NVC? Already sharing but want support to deepen your understanding and capacity? BayNVC's NVC Leadership Program (LP) aims to nurture the spirit of compassion in people who want to live and teach NVC.  The 9th year of the program begins in January 2010.  Join an amazing international
 community of people who share your passion for transformation with NVC.


Other Series
Upcoming Intros
Classes and Workshops
Intensives / Retreats

8/14 Women's Retreat - Petaluma, CA


For a list of practice groups in the bay area and beyond,
click HERE.
More Information & Registration 
Since many of our
events fill quickly,
please consider pre-registering to ensure your space.  Occasionally, events are canceled due to a low number of registered participants.  If you are planning to attend, pre-registering will help ensure that the event will take place.  If an event is canceled, all pre-registered participants will be notified and you will have the choice of refund or transfer to another event.

  You may
pre-register by clicking the "Register Now" button at the bottom of most event descriptions, or by contacting our office at 510-433-0700 or  You will receive a confirmation email with driving and public transit directions.
  Parking is free at BayNVC's wheelchair accessible
 building near Piedmont Avenue in Oakland.  

HERE for a complete, up-to-date listing of
our retreats, study series, workshops
and practice
 groups in the Bay Area and beyond.
Managing Your Emails from BayNVC
If you would like to receive emails from us less frequently than once a month, email BayNVC with YOUR FULL NAME and the desired frequency in the subject line as follows: "BayNVC List - Periodic" (with this option you'll receive 4-6 emails per year; no monthly newsletter, just special announcements) or "BayNVC List - None"
If you received this email from someone else and would like to receive this free emailed newsletter each month, please email your full name, address and phone number to BayNVC and include the words "BayNVC List - ALL" in the subject of your email.
Thank you.  We look forward to seeing you at some of our events! 
Contact Information

Click here to email us: BayNVC
Phone: 510-433-0700 or toll-free at 1-866-4-BAYNVC (1-866-422-9682)
Address:  55 Santa Clara Ave., Suite 203, Oakland, CA 94610

BayNVC trainers are available for individual, couple and family counseling; mediation and meeting facilitation; full and half-day NVC workshops at your organization (including diversity training); audio/video presentations; and trauma and conflict response.

Bay Area Nonviolent Communication is a non-profit organization and all financial contributions are tax deductible. For more information, or to donate online, click here.
You can also support BayNVC whenever you shop online.  Through BayNVC's page at, a percentage of everything you purchase goes directly to BayNVC.  Matthew Blom has created an instructional video to show you how it works.

To learn more about what people are doing with Nonviolent Communication worldwide, sign up for the CNVC Network News e-newsletter.
The Center for Nonviolent Communication (CNVC)
Phone: 505-244-4041 or 1-800-255-7696
Address:  5600 San Francisco Rd. NE Suite A, Albuquerque, NM 87109