Not everyone needs a tax pro

The IRS decides to audit Grandpa, and summons him to the IRS office.

The IRS auditor was not surprised when Grandpa
Showed up with his attorney.

The auditor said, 'Well, sir, you have an extravagant lifestyle and no full-time employment, Which you explain by saying that you win money gambling. I'm not sure the IRS finds that believable.'

I'm a great gambler, and I can prove it,' says Grandpa. 'How about a demonstration?'

The auditor thinks for a moment and said, 'Okay. Go ahead.'

Grandpa says, 'I'll bet you a thousand dollars that I can bite my own eye.'

The auditor thinks a moment and says, 'It's a bet.'

Grandpa removes his glass eye and bites it. The auditor's jaw drops.

Grandpa says, 'Now, I'll bet you two thousand dollars that I can bite my other eye.'

Now the auditor can tell Grandpa isn't blind, so he takes the bet.

Grandpa removes his dentures and bites his good eye.

The stunned auditor now realizes he has wagered and lost three grand, with Grandpa's attorney as a witness. He starts to get nervous.

'Want to go double or nothing?' Grandpa asks 'I'll bet you six thousand dollars that I can stand on one side of your desk, and relieve myself into that wastebasket on the other side, and never get a drop anywhere in between....'

The auditor, twice burned, is cautious now, but he looks carefully and decides there's no way this old guy could possibly manage that stunt, so he agrees again.

Grandpa stands beside the desk and unzips his pants, but although he strains mightily, he can't make the stream reach the wastebasket on the other side, so he pretty much relieves himself all over the auditor's desk.

The auditor leaps with joy, realizing that he has just turned a major loss into a huge win.

But Grandpa's own attorney moans and puts his head in his hands.

'Are you okay?' the auditor asks.

'Not really,' says the attorney. 'This morning, when Grandpa told me he'd been summoned for an audit, he bet me twenty-five thousand dollars that he could come in here and relieve himself all over your desk and that you'd be happy about it!'

I keep telling you! Don't Mess with Old People!!

Tax Savers,

Preparing and filing a tax return can be a daunting task.

But is it worth forking over a couple hundred dollars to have a tax pro do it for you?

Probably not, if you're single, renting, have one job and few assets or investments.

When preparing a tax return on your own, it's best to use an online or software program, which does the math for you.

The IRS's Free File program has links to free versions of tax-preparation programs for federal returns. Some programs do free state returns but most don't.

To qualify for Free File, your adjusted gross income has to be $57,000 or less for 2009. There may be other restrictions and income limits.

If you don't qualify, off the shelf programs offer free versions of their programs for e-filing on their Web sites. But some may not be as comprehensive. State forms typically aren't free and you have to go to your city's web site to download your city form.

And when does it pay to have a pro do it all? You should consider hiring a professional tax preparer if you're married, have children, own a home, have moved during 2009, live in one state and work in another, have various sources of income or own a business -- especially if a few of these factors apply, you aren't tax savvy or don't have the time to deal with a complex return.

Wishing You Many Happy Returns,