Understanding How Holidays Impact Your Life

and How to Get the Most Joy From the Season

The holiday season can be a time full of cheer, parties and family gatherings. But for many people, it is also a time of loneliness, taking inventory on past failures, and family stress. Romanticized expectations of family closeness and wish fulfillment may differ significantly from the realities of many people's lives. The mismatch between unrealistic hopes, as well as the striving to create a "picture perfect" holiday, can create extra tension and disappointment. On the other hand, when people feel free to relax and enjoy each others' company, the holidays have the potential to be a time of reconnection and rejuvenation. Here's a rundown of some of the ways the holidays can affect our lives in both positive and...not so positive ways:

The Joy of Giving

Researchers have long studied the impact that giving has on our emotional state, sense of well-being and health. According to studies, gift giving is a complex and significant part of human interaction, assisting to define relationships and solidify bonds with family and friends. In fact, researchers say it is often the giver, rather than the recipient, who reaps the biggest gains from the gift. Selecting gifts for loved ones can cement their importance in our lives and can provide the giver and receiver with a sense of well-being. In addition, holiday charity in the form of volunteering or helping those in need, not only benefits the person being helped, but also has many benefits for the person doing the helping. Reaching out a hand to lift someone else up is one of the greatest gifts for the heart. The gifts that one receives from giving back and from reaching out to help others are immense and priceless.

Financial Stress

At the same time that gift giving can provide a sense of contentment and connection, it can also feel overwhelming and pressured when budgets are limited. During today's economic climate, tight budgets are more the norm than the exception. In order to avoid becoming overwhelmed by holiday shopping, make sure to take charge of your money. If budget is an uncomfortable word to you, try using "spending plan" - when you are intentional about your spending you may be surprised about the amount of money you can save. Also, start early - research shows the more stressed you feel the more you are likely to consume. Remember to think outside of the box, inexpensive but meaningful gifts or hand-made gifts can go a long way in terms of showing your appreciation for those you care about.

Getting the Most Out of the Hustle and Bustle

The holiday season can provide a well needed break from the regular routine of life, but it can also be a time of excess. Too many activities, even if they are fun activities, can culminate in too much holiday stress and leave us feeling exhausted rather than fulfilled. Before you get overwhelmed by too many activities, it's important to set your priorities by deciding what traditions offer the most positive impact and eliminate unnecessary activities. You don't have to attend every party or holiday activity or buy a gift for everyone you meet. Pick a few favorite activities or events to attend that you really enjoy or have special meaning to you and skip some of those that cause the most hassle. Pace your activities and accept invitations to those events that will not overburden your life and cause next day exhaustion. Feeling tired and frantic is not good for your physical and mental health. Remember that having a break from regular life routines can also provide an opportunity for slowing down and clarifying what is important to you as you move forward into the next year.

Eating and Drinking

Holiday parties, family gatherings, and celebrations may bring holiday "cheer" but an overabundance of eating and drinking can lead to negative health effects. The temptation to overindulge in desserts or alcohol can cause many people the lasting stress of dealing with consequences that can last long after the season is over. Research has found that holiday binges may be a way of blunting the brain to family tensions. Finding healthy ways to combat stress, say by taking a long walk or eating less protein and fat (you'll feel most relaxed if you eat 5:1 ratio of carbohydrates to protein) can help to give your brain a biochemical boost and avoid overindulgences. If you are feeling uneasy at a holiday event it is also recommended to skip the hors d'oevres table which is often packed with foods ill-suited for mood improvement. But do indulge (in moderation) in all of the wonderful holiday foods!

 
The Pros and Cons of Togetherness

        People who have close ties to their friends and family tend to be better off physically and psychologically than loners. In fact, studies have shown that a lack of social relationships rivals the negative health effects of smoking, high blood pressure and obesity. The holidays are a time when extended families tend to gather, providing ample opportunity for the positive health benefits of emotional and physical closeness. On the other hand, even the most close-knit families can overdose on togetherness, making it hard for family members to maintain a comfortable balance between bonding and alone time. Many families also have 'roles' that each member falls into that have more to do with who individuals used to be rather than who they are today, which can sometimes bring more dread than fun to these gatherings. If you have a particularly difficult time with certain family members, bring along a supportive friend to the holiday gathering. Also, give yourself and everyone around you permission to be less than perfect - the holiday image of the "perfect family" is an unreality that can create tension and impede our ability to enjoy relationships.

For those who don't have these family issues, loneliness can be just as much of a problem. As the world seems to be gathering with family, those who rely more on friends for support can feel deserted and alone. It is important to recognize that loneliness is a common experience for many during the holidays. In one survey fifty-percent of respondents said that they experienced loneliness during the holiday season. In order to combat loneliness, get connected to others, even by simply taking time to say hello to neighbors or participating in an internet forum can help to ease holiday loneliness. Also, filling your time with enjoyable activities and/or volunteering your time can elevate your mood and help you feel connected to others.

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