Newsletter - Fall 2009

Jolene's Story

Phase 1 - Life before Stepping Stones and Creating Trust with Kellie and Cherise

Before I got pregnant or came to Stepping Stones I was completely and utterly entrenched in my addiction to drugs and alcohol. I started experimenting when I was 12 and it just escalated from there. By 17, I was a full-blown crystal meth addict, and had dropped out of high school three days before the start of second semester of Grade 12. I then found out I was pregnant with my first-born son. It didn't matter to me that I was pregnant - I couldn't stop doing drugs and drinking alcohol. my son was taken away from me when he was 4 months old and I started using really hard to numb myself. I became pregnant with my daughter when I was 18, and had numbed myself to the point where I just didn't care anymore.

I met Kellie when I was pregnant with my daughter and was still doing drugs and alcoho. For me, Kellie was an oasis in the desert. I felt instantly comfortable around her. She didn't judge me, no matter how messed up I was, and that still holds true today. At first I would only go out for coffee or lunch with Kellie because I didn't trust anyone. The first time I went to Muffin Morning was only because they had a professional photographer coming in to take pictures of the moms and their kids. I got some pictures of myself and my daughter done. By this time in my life I had cleaned up and had my daughter back full-time, and was working on getting my son back. After the photo shoot I started showing up sporadically. It wasn't until the last year or so that I really involved with Stepping Stones. I started to show up regularly at Muffin Morning, and found lasting relationships with women who knew what I'd gone through and were in the same boat as I was. I also found women that could share their experiences and help me with the issues I was going through with my children. Diapers and formula were also provided at Muffin Morning, which was a huge help for me. I was just trying to make ends meet at the time and not having to spend $40 on those items helped immensely.

When Cherise started calling me asking me to see if I wanted to come to Muffin Morning, I came up with every excuse in the book not to go. When I finally relented and went for coffee with her one day, I found in her an undying loyalty to help parenting youth. I hadn't seen that kind of passion in awhile and I was instantly drawn to her. To this day, her passion inspires me to be a better person.

Phase 2 - How the Thrive program helped me

Participating in the Thrive program brought me to a deeper level of working on myself. The account and respond process made me aware of the behaviors I was repeating over and over again, and I was able to change those behaviours. The SMART goals forced me to look at what actions I needed to take to fulfill my goals. Once I knew what I needed to do, it was a little bit easier to start acting on them. It's a slow process, but I'm getting there! I became more honest and intuitive on a deeper level with my feelings.

The best thing about Thrive was that it taught me how to quit talking about I wanted to do and actually started doing it. I did some work on my procrastination. Another thing I liked about Thrive was the onsite daycare. It was comforting for me to know that if anything happened, my kids were right down the hall. If I felt the urge to give them a hug and kiss I could. The daycare staff was amazing. They still amaze me. It was always about the kids. Everything that happened, whether it be kids hitting each other or not listening (like mine were prone to) was treated in the healthiest manner possible and with positivity.

Phase 3 - Life after Thrive (Counseling sessions, going back to school, giving back and volunteering)

After Thrive finished, I had a couple of counseling sessions with Tracy. At the time I was dating a guy that had been diagnosed with lung cancer and wasn't treating me very well. Tracy was the one who helped me realize that I was worth more than that and deserved to be with someone who respected me, which I am now.

My goal is to take the Child and Youth Care Counseling course at Douglas College next September. In order to take the course I needed volunteer hours so I started volunteering at Stepping Stones. I'm getting so much more out of volunteering than just hours for school. I create relationships with moms that are new to the program. I can talke about my experiences with my kids to new moms. I get to sit in at the Mommy and Me time at Drop-in and just listen to a girls who really need to be heard.

I saved the best for last - I get to hang out with Cherise all the time!! Even when I'm tired and it seems that what I'm doing is a pain in the neck, I take time to reflect and realize that I LOVE every second of what I'm doing!! Thank you Stepping Stones.