Death and Dying
Elizabeth Kubler-Ross wrote the definitive book on the stages of grief (On Death and Dying). The stages: denial, anger, bargaining, depression and, finally, acceptance. Now, a new book by Ruth Davis Koinigsberg (The Truth about Grief: The Myth of the Five Stages and the New Science of Loss), "challenges not only Kubler-Ross's tidy scheme of grief stages but also the whole idea that grief is a therapeutically manageable process that moves through any states whatsoever" (Christian Century, June 28, 201).
Konigsberg believes that grief is unpredictable, wild and undomesticated in form and intensity - it 'breaks like a storm over us and then calms, seemingly without reason.' Thomas Long comments, "the larger notion that grief moves through some kind of process toward resolution probably owes more of a debt to American optimism than to Christian hope... grief is a perilous, unruly and emotionally fraught narrative task. We are all players in human dramas, mundane mostly but also filled with grandeur and deep pathos. When someone dies the plot threads unravel, the narrative shatters, and those of us who are part of the story 'go to pieces.' The work of grief is to gather the fragments and to rewrite the narrative, this time minus a treasured presence."
To some, this new book will be interesting. For others who are experiencing grief, it may help explain the wild swings of emotion that you experience. Thomas Long further comments: "In the wilderness of grief, God provides narrative manna - just enough shape and meaning to keep us walking - and sends the Comforter, who knits together the raveled soul and refuses to leave us orphans. ...we Christians do not seek closure so much as we pray that all of our lost loves will be gathered into that great unending story fashioned by God's grace."
In faith,
Pastor Tim
