Resolutions That Work - Choose What Matters

"I hate the holidays," sighed my client last December. "What do you mean?" I asked, a little surprised.

"Dreading my New Year's resolutions just sucks the joy out of it. Do you realize that I've been setting the same resolutions year after year and the only thing that changes is I feel more and more like a failure because I'm not doing what I should? Why am I such a loser that I can't even make changes in my life that are really important? I hate feeling like this!" she vents.

"It sounds like you're stuck shoulding yourself to death and making yourself wrong," I observed. "What would it be like to be thrilled and excited about your resolutions?"

Dead silence. Followed by, "I can't even imagine it."

"Imagine that a box named 'should and being wrong' is sitting on the table in front of you. It holds all of the negative feelings you've been carrying around. And next to it is a box named 'Your heart knows'. What's in the heart box?"

Really long pause.

"Having fun and spending time with my family," she whispered as her voice broke..

"What does it feel like having fun and spending time with your family?" I asked gently.

Her voice has shifted. "Well, when I'm relaxed, and having fun it recharges me; it makes me feel good." Giving her time to think, I ask, "What's possible for you when you are recharged, and feeling good?" She sounds energized. "I feel like I can do anything, and the pressure of all the stuff I haven't done goes away."

"What's thrilling about that to you?" She confidently says, "I GET MY LIFE BACK." "You just got really excited when you said that," I commented. "You sounded really committed to making a change. What's really important about getting your life back?"

"I just realized life is short and my kids are only kids for so long. I'm not willing to give up being part of this time in their lives. I know that's what I'm meant to do. I'm going to ask my family to help me have more fun. Maybe find a workout buddy. That would get me going and keep me on track. "

"What are you saying 'yes' to?" I challenged her.

"I'm choosing to focus on what matters most to me, my family." Her voice was strong and clear.

"Choosing what matters." I repeated. "Do you notice how getting really clear about what really matters about fun and making time for your family has changed your outlook?. What's the lesson here?"

"Choosing what matters, " she smiled.

Today, one year later, my client is loving the holidays, spending much more time with her family, and feeling more successful than ever.

Every single one of my clients has a story to tell about changing their lives by knowing what matters to them.

You can choose what matters and be thrilled about your plans for the new year. See below for my gifts to support you.