I used to think if something was not perfect that it was Oh My God Major Drama WRONG. And if it was WRONG it was probably my fault and my responsibility to fix it. Becoming a cancer survivor changed all that. Like many survivors, the cancer experience taught (or forced) me to give myself a break, to not put so much pressure on myself, and to be as compassionate to myself as I want the people I love tp be with me.

 

Over the last few weeks I've received a reminder about this valuable lesson from members of my Building Business & Life Balance action group -  where "COMPASSION FOR SELF" has become our theme.
 
What would it be like to give yourself permission to be human? To not expect perfection from yourself? To trust that things happen in the right time even if it's not your time? To not waste precious time and energy making yourself wrong?
 
"Instead of beating myself up and procrastinating I've learned to work from commitment instead of just should's and feelings," says my client Rennie Brigman, Future Director at Mary Kay. "And that means I don't have to be perfect anymore. I've found that my passion for helping other women has a life of its own, and I'm learning to trust myself and my intuition instead of trying too hard and doing things by rote."
 
Believe it or not, after Rennie's shift in perspective, her business is starting to grow rapidly. She signed up 3 new consultants last week. And her husband (without solicitation) is championing her commitment by offering to take on more household responsibilities. In Rennie's case, compassion for self has brought her compassion from others who want to support her success.
 
It really amazes me how good we humans are at making things difficult for ourselves.  I think it's worth listing just a few of the common things we do to sabotage ourselves. I've noticed:

• We are so quick to make ourselves wrong about every little thing.
• We're often much harder and less forgiving of ourselves than we are to the people in our lives and the way we want other people to be towards us.
• We don't take time to give ourselves credit and praise for our successes and achievements.
• We take responsibility for things we don't have control over and then we beat ourselves up if they don't turn out the way we consider to be successful or right.

Do any of these things that resonate with you? Was there an "Aha! I do that" or, "Hmm, that sounds familiar" moment?  If so, that means you're human. Like everyone else you win, you lose, you laugh, you cry, you make unwise decisions. you make brilliant decisions. 

You'd be surprised at what can happen when you are compassionate with yourself instead of judging.  
 
Alicia Colina-Ashby has learned that not making herself wrong while celebrating her milestones has increased her productivity, creativity and good humor. She is gearing up for a busy holiday season selling handmade crafts and ornaments.  "I threw out my daily things to do list because it was totally overwhelming. All of a sudden I have laser focus on getting the right things done. And I've started giving myself a big 'woo hoo' when I accomplish things, even small things.  I'm not wasting any energy worrying about not doing enough or the woulda-coulda-shoulda's. I'm getting so much done, and enjoying it!"