| July 2008 |
THRIVE! A Cancer Survivor Says "Why Wait?"
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Welcome to "Thrive," the Coach for Living ezine. As you join me, I challenge you to think about living a life that is happy, meaningful and uniquely yours NOW instead of later.
 You've probably had a moment in your lifetime when you realized how fleeting and precious life really is. The birth of a child; the loss of a loved one; a life-threatening illness or accident; or a spiritual awakening reminded you to appreciate being fully alive and not to take the here and now for granted.
My personal reminder to savor each day came with my diagnosis and treatment of breast cancer.
The realization that my time really could be limited in the foreseeable future shocked me to the core. I was in emotional and sensory overload, alternating between numbness, anger, total fear and manic hope. Surprisingly (to me anyway), this out-of-control period and its aftermath taught me to use fear to my advantage. I really had no choice but to get comfortable with the new things and changes being thrust upon me.
I realized that life was too short to wait to be happy. I learned how to recognize what mattered most to me, to live with integrity, to let go of things I couldn't control and started to enjoy the world around me.
Before cancer, I was sure that I'd have time to be happy later, just as soon as I got a better job, my children were grown, the garage was cleaned out, and on and on and on. During cancer, I realized that tidy houses and impressive titles didn't take care of me when I was sick, love me when I was wrong or give me any inner peace or true joy. And that later can sneak up on you sooner than you think.
Why does it takes a crisis like cancer to shake us up and remind us what's REALLY important in life, and to go for it now instead of later? It doesn't have to.
The lessons I've learned from my own experiences and working with others touched by cancer apply to everyone. Anyone who is willing to try new things and explore new possibilities or perspectives can learn to create a more joyful, balanced life. I'm here to help you get started. That's what THRIVE is all about.
Read below for tips you can use from my "Take Back Your Life" article in the May/June issue of Coping With Cancer magazine. Why Wait? | |
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Music has always been an integral part of my healing and spirituality. At my darkest times, the voice of Melissa Etheridge has often sung directly to my heart. Her words below echo the voices of so many cancer survivors around the world.
"After having chemotherapy and finally getting healthy, ....
I really found spirituality in myself and in my soul."
- Melissa Etheridge, singer/songwriter in an interview posted 9/27/07 on mylifetime.com
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Ask the Survivor Coach...
Q: Today we learned that my brother-in-law has cancer. What should we say and what should we not say to this brand new cancer patient?
A: That's a good question. A lot of times we feel so uncomfortable with the situation that we say nothing.
Please acknowledge what your brother-in-law is going through and tell him you will be there for him.
Don't judge his choices or offer unsolicited advice.
DO NOT tell him horror stories about somebody else's cancer experience.
Treat him normally unless he asks you to do otherwise.
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What's Next for Me? WORKSHOPS
WHAT'S NEXT FOR ME? workshops for cancer patients whose treatment is ending are offered at various cancer treatment centers & support organizations.
NEW LIFE. NEW FRIENDS. NEW YOU. Womens' Telecourse Action Group starts 8/5/08.
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| TAKE BACK YOUR LIFE Prioritizing Your Life After Cancer...
None of us choose to come face to face with our own mortality. But many cancer survivors like you and I have stared it in the face and gone on to ask, "What's next?" Many of us feel compelled to live our lives differently in the wake of our cancer experience. Often, the priorities from our life before cancer don't fit anymore; they just don't feel right.
Like many survivors I know, you may hunger for choices and a measure of control after facing the uncontrollable reality you've been through. You want to appreciate the here and now, because you've learned that you can't be sure what the future holds. You want to guide your life where you can and not worry about what you can't. You want the rest of your life to matter.
How can you prioritize your life after cancer? learn more >>> |
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MAKE A LIFE-GIVING CHOICE TODAY:
CHOOSE TO BE COMPASSIONATE with yourself, those you love and the world around you.
Day to day life can be challenging in the best of times. During times of crisis, most of us need more love and support than ever. Compassion for yourself and others is critical at this time, when your expectations and emotions are like a roller coaster and may be difficult to manage.
Remember that no one, including you, is perfect, and that we're on a continuous journey of learning and choice as we strive for health and happiness together. You can use compassion to help make life-giving choices in your life now.
- Look for the lesson or humor when you think you've failed instead of making yourself wrong or feeling guilty or ashamed.
- When others don't meet your expectations try asking yourself what you would have done if you walked in their shoes, or how you would want to be treated if the situation were reversed.
- Try to be curious and supportive with yourself and others instead of harsh, judgmental or defensive.
- Always try to think about what you you can do to make things easier and less stressful for yourself and others.
Choosing to be compassionate with yourself and the world around can help you stay focused on things that build up your positive energy and make you feel good about life immediately.
Let's talk about how you can start to use more compassion in your life during a free 30-minute coaching session. learn more >>> |
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Participants Rave About "NEW FRIENDS. NEW LIFE. NEW YOU." Teleconference Action Groups!
"Joining this coaching group was the best thing I have done in my life. Now I know that it's not only about how well things are done, it's about being fully present whatever I am doing. I feel like I have personal power back in my life again." - Vickie, Feb 08
"I'm more motivated and prepared to be happy now. I'm committed to what I want. I've learned how to work through what comes up instead of letting it derail me." - Lou Ann, June 2008
Your odds of successfully changing things in your life can go up dramatically when you work in a group of women instead of alone.
This teleconference action group can help you can learn:
- Ways to stop procrastinating
- How to make decisions you will honor
- Ways to communicate better at home or work
- What stresses you out and what you can do about it
- How to have more fun and be happier
The group support, professional life coaching techniques, camaraderie, shared resources and personal accountability this group provides can keep you motivated and on track as you create long lasting, ongoing success in any area you choose.
Intimate groups of 4-6 women meet via phone for 1 1/2 hours weekly for six weeks. Your investment is $180. The next group starts Tuesday August 5, 2008.
Space is limited. Contact Paula to sign up today. | |
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What have you done today that made you smile?
Sincerely, |
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Paula Holland De Long
Life coach and cancer survivor Paula Holland De Long is an authority on how the lessons of survivorship can bring joy, passion and purpose to anyone's life. Her support programs for survivors are offered at cancer treatment centers and support organizations. Her women's teleconference action groups attract participants from around the country. To learn more about how you can live your best life now visit CoachForLivingOnline.com. |
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