Dear Capt. Noah T'all,

I was sitting at the dock the other day listening to a couple of guys discuss which boat would be faster when sailing in a regatta.  I followed most of what they were saying but was confused by their reference to something they called a Boeuf Rating? 
Wally Wannarace

 

Dear Wally,                                                                                                            
Just like golf, sailboat racing has a handicap system that allows boats of different sizes and rigs to compete fairly against each other.   Thanks to the handicapping system, a 31 ft Beneteau can compete in the same regatta as a 50 ft Hunter.

As to your question, it's time to change the batteries in your hearing aid.  The guys were referring to PHRF rating, pronounced "purf" not Boeuf, which is pronounced "Burf". 

 

In the US, the organization that administers the handicapping system is known as the Performance Handicapping Racing Fleet (PHRF) which is part of US Sailing, the same guys who brought you the sailing rules of racing.  To find out more about how the handicap system works I would suggest a trip to USSailing.org then go to the PHRF page and all of the technical mishmash will be explained. You can also check out how fast the boat you are sailing on is compared to others. Boeuf by the way is French for beef. 

Last month's question was "where does the phrase '3 sheets to wind' come from?"  Back in the day when ships commonly had 3 masts they had a least 3 sheets for each.  If you let all three sheets loose to fly in the wind, your ship would stagger all over the ocean out of control.  The jump from there to a drunk stumbling down the road is pretty short.
For next time: What is kissing the gunners daughter?

_/) Safe sailing. 
  
Honez

 
I was sitting at the dock one morning a while back with some club old timers when a young couple returned to the dock from an overnight cruise on the lake.  A big thunderstorm had passed through the area the night before so I asked them how they had fared during the evening.   A strange look came over their faces, so I asked what was wrong.  The young man looked at his wife and began to tell their story. 

 
"Last night, we anchored in a little cove with plenty of deep water which allowed us to anchor right next to the shore.   Everything was fine and about 10:00, we went below to sleep.  Around midnight, we were awaken by a strange snorting noise and what sounded like bumps against the hull.  I laid there for a few minutes but the snorts and bumps would not go away.   I went on deck but I could not see anything that would make the noise. I did notice that the wind was starting to come up and the stars had all disappeared. The trees on shore where starting to sway as well.  As soon as I had gone below again the snorts and bumps began again only louder and more persistent.  This time my wife came on deck with me and despite looking everywhere we still could not see a thing.  The weather was getting worse and I decided we were too close to the shore for comfort.  So we upped anchor and motored around to the next cove, which was much bigger and allowed us to anchor further from shore.  By the time we got the hook set, the storm was upon us, so we went below and waited for it pass.  We awoke the next morning to bright blue skies. After we had our coffee, we got the anchor in and headed for the dock.

Our return course took us past the little cove we had started in the night before. As we passed I heard my wife let out a startled gasp.  I quickly looked over and there lying across the place where we were anchored the night before was a huge tree that had blown over in the storm.  If we had not moved, it would have smashed us for sure.  My wife asked, what is that standing on the tree?  We were pretty far away by now and it was getting hard to see but I swear to you it looked like just like a pig with a peg leg."  All the old timers looked at each other in silence for a moment and then as a group responded, "Jimmy Dean."

Years ago when they first filled the lake there was a pig farmer named Big Earl whose farm ended up as an Island in the lake. Today you know it as Deer Island.  Back in the day, it was simply Pig Island. Earl would sit on the shore of his island farm with his favorite pig, Jimmy Dean, and be fascinated by the sailboats as they glided past. As a little piglet Jimmy Dean had run in front of the tractor and mangled his back leg.  Earl expected Jimmy to die, but he made a remarkable recovery and hopped around following Earl everywhere.  To make it easier for Jimmy to keep up, Earl fashioned him a peg leg. 

One day Earl decided he was going to learn to sail, so he made his way over to LSA to get lessons .  On the third and final day of his lessons, Earl asked his instructor if they could, in Earl's words, "buzz the farm".  The instructor said, "why not?"  As they approached Pig Island, there sitting on the beach was Jimmy Dean.  Earl being Earl and full of pride at his accomplishment of learning to sail let out a tremendous" Sooee! Here Pig!"  Upon hearing this Jimmy Dean jumped to his legs and peg and leaped straight into the lake.  After a couple of halting strokes he made a bee line to Earls boat where he swam in the bow wave just like a dolphin in the ocean, that is if the dolphin looked like a pig with three legs and peg. Earl and the instructor hauled Jimmy on board and together they made their return to LSA with Jimmy Dean looking for all of the world like a piggy pirate standing on the bow with his peg leg.  Earl joined the Passport Sailing Club.  Every weekend he and Jimmy Dean could be seen running up and down the lake.  From time to time, Earl would let Jimmy go over the side to do his impersonation of Flipper.
 
Then it happened.  Earl was a big man and a slow learner.  Everyone always had to caution him to keep his head down on tacks and jibes. One day during a jibe Earl got distracted by Mary Lou Chesty who was floating on an inner tube nearby in her daisy dukes.  As the boom came across it smacked him in the head and knocked him into the water.  Jimmy Dean, who was sunning himself on the bow, heard the commotion and looking around, spotted Earl floating face down a few feet from the boat.  Jimmy didn't hesitate a second and dove straight in after Earl and paddled over to him. With his teeth, he grabbed the back of Earl's overalls and started hauling him back to the boat.  Earl came to enough that he hauled himself back into cockpit where he promptly passed out again.  When he came to and realized where he was and what had happened and that Jimmy Dean was nowhere in sight, he began a desperate search.  His sorrowful  cries of "Sooee! Here Pig" could be heard across the lake long into the night but there was never a single snort in response.

Without Jimmy Dean, pig farming lost its appeal to Earl, so he sold the farm and headed off to the Banana Republics to find a new life and write odes to Jimmy Dean. No sign of Jimmy Dean was ever found and soon people on the lake began to forget about Big Earl and the Hero Pig that gave his life to save another. However, from time to time on the docks around the lake, you will hear mysterious stories of averted disasters where the folks in peril tell of spotting a pegged-legged pig that led them to safety. 

As for me, I'm not sure what I believe.  But, if you're ever on the lake, lost in the fog and spot a three-legged porcine porpoise frolicking in your bow wave, follow him.  It's just Jimmy Dean come to show you the way home.  "Sooee! Here Pig!"

_/) Happy exploring. 
 
Honez

 

 

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