My 401K statement arrived in the mail this week.  Unless you are on a sailboat in the middle of the Pacific Ocean with your satellite radio turned off , you know what that means.  It looks like the boys and girls who ran the floodgates at Buford dam have changed jobs.  They are now running my 401K funds and true to form, they have opened the floodgates and let all the money out.  After reviewing the dim outlook for my financial future, I sat down with a bottle of   "Thinking Rum" to consider how all of this is going to affect my life, specifically my sailing life.  My big concern is not having enough capital to finance the occasional cruise to the Caribbean, the Keys, Old Mexico and the list goes on and on.   After RUMinating on the problem for a while the answer came to me. (The answer always comes when you RUMinate, the trick is remembering what it was the next morning.) The answer of course is to let someone else's 401K pay your way.
 
There is a large group of people who always wanted to go to sea and visit exotic far away places.   For whatever reason they never pulled the trigger on their dream and alas their time on earth ran out before they made it.  Not to worry, now those who missed their chance can finally take the cruise they always dreamed of for just a few dollars that they don't even need anymore.    Their loved ones can sign up the dearly departed for a trip on "Honez's Sunset Cruises to the Afterlife".  The concept is simple really; Honez and his Merry Crew will take your ashes and sail to that sunny place you always wanted to go.  There they will drink to your memory, tell wonderful lies about what a great guy or gal your were, and then with a little pomp and circumstance chuck your ash over the leeward rail.  You might prefer the Shiver Me Timbers and Scatter Me Ashes Special where the whole crew will dress as pirates, drink gallons of grog and at the height of the party one of the crew will walk your ash off the end of a plank. 
 
As part of the package, your loved ones will receive a Commemorative Cruise Book filled with pictures of your wonderful last trip.  Picture yourself behind the wheel of a 40-foot yacht with your sunglasses on, the wind in your hair wearing your favorite Hawaiian shirt.  Imagine yourself at Sydney's Peace and Love with a local beauty sitting in your lap and a margarita in your hand.  See yourself lying on the beach of a deserted isle.  How about snorkeling face down in a beautiful lagoon? On the final day of your cruise your faithful crew will proceed out to the 12-mile limit and provide you with a permanent anchorage in the lovely Caribbean.  There is an extra charge if you want a private cabin. 
 
Whew, and to think I was worried. Where there is a will there will always be a way. In the mean time while I wait for the Honez Sunset Cruise requests to pour in my sailing fix is being met nicely by my club membership, still the best deal on any water, anywhere.  The LSA Dock also provides the best place to recruit the Merry Crew for this fantastic business opportunity.  Come on down to the dock and apply, tryouts for Honez Choir and Gospel Quartet are held every second Saturday.
 
Honez
Owner and Operator of Honez's Sunset Cruises to the Afterlife where our motto is "You're never too dead to have a good time"