I recently celebrated 25 years of wedded bliss with the Lovely Sweet Jane. This event was an opportunity for me to reflect on the joys of marriage, what a lucky guy I am to have such a wonderful woman and of course how can I spend more time on the boat? 

The first and most critical element to spending more time on the boat and avoiding divorce court is her happiness.  We will see that her comfort and happiness is a reoccurring theme. 

First let's talk about passions.  My passion is being on a boat in a stiff breeze with the rail buried in the water.  Her passion is riding horses -- smelly, dangerous beasts that need four hours of maintenance for every hour that you ride them.  Actually, the 4-to-1 ration tends to be true of boats too.  Another reason to be club member, somebody else does the maintenance.  I digress; the point here is that while you are a happy couple your interests are not always the same.  That's okay, diversity is good thing.  While she is off doing her thing, you can be doing your thing.  However, the day will come when she will want to go sailing to see what her money is buying. (It's all her money, get used to it.)  This is your opportunity to show your beloved what a wonderful caring husband you are and not the time to indulge in your normal go fast, sail it on the edge antics that make you so happy. Remember it is all about her comfort and happiness. 

The first key to ensuring a happy spousal sail is knowing your passenger.  Does she want to be an active crew member or does she want to sit back and enjoy the sunshine?  Do boats make her nervous?  Sweet Jane for instance will climb on a 1,500 lb horse, charge off at 25 miles/hr and leap over a fence, laughing the whole time.  Put her on a boat, however and she gets unhappy when we get too much heel. She refers to this as being "too damn tippy."  Burying the rail equals "oh my god this fool is trying to kill me again."  The Queen's idea of good time on a boat is perched to windward enjoying a beverage, eating grapes.  With that in mind, let's look at the top five things to do to ensure a successful outcome to your day on the lake with the dew drop of your desire (your wife, not the boat).

1.        Sail the boat upright - Contrary to popular belief this is possible to do - You have several strategies that you can employ such as lowering the traveler, picking a downwind course or just go ahead and swallow your pride and reef. Sailing a boat without spilling her drink is skill you can brag about too.

2.        No yelling - Be cool boy, be cool. All commands should be given in a calm voice with a smile on your face. The best way to ensure that this happens is to plan ahead, go slow and be prepared to try again.  One of the most common causes of yelling is anchoring, pick a secluded anchorage so that you don't have the stress of dodging other boats. (You can tell her it's because you want more alone time with her.)  Organize the anchor, chain and rode before you get there.  Decide on how the spouse on the pointy end will communicate with spouse in back end before you have do it.  When you have a problem and have to start over you say, my bad baby, let's try again, you look great!  (Never forget you are going to have to sleep with this woman later.)

The remaining three things will be in next month's Docklines.  Rich welcomes your comments and advice along with congratulations on the occasion of his 25th wedding anniversary