Storybooks For Healing
October, 2010  | Discover |  Publish   |  Share  | Free Shipping

"My sorrow, when she's here with me,
thinks these dark days of autumn rain are beautiful as days can be;
she loves the bare, the withered tree; she walks the sodden pasture lane."
~ Robert Frost
Dear

Turning the calendar page to October can be bittersweet when grief is present in your life. Falling leaves and changing weather remind us that there are seasons in nature as well as our lives. Often the word "holidays" follow in our minds. Each special day of note - from Halloween to New Year's - carries unspoken traditions, memories, family activities and pangs of loss.

Holidays and "the giving season" may already be emotionally charged for you. Add the commotion of gatherings, "good cheer" and seeing others enjoy their families may just underscore that you have a hole in your life. As one young woman, whose mother died a short time ago, remarked, "Sometimes I just want to be alone. I don't want anyone near. Am I normal?" Yes! And wanting to not be alone can be normal too! By voicing her concern aloud and learning that others have felt this way too, she was reassured. Most importantly, she asked and shared her worries. The changes after loss can wax and wane, and sometimes seasons and holidays bring out new unexpected memories.
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Autum Lane 125 x 90Silence is not golden. Reflection on your loss, identifying your fears and pain, and giving voice to memories can help you. Grief comes out in a combination of physical, emotional and behavioral changes. So coping solutions can also be found in all these areas, too.
  • Walk and talk, or walk and reflect. Physical exercise can be a great release and invigorates your heart and mind. Go alone, or be accountable by walking routinely with a friend.
  • Schedule your time with an eye on balance, especially this time of year. It is not necessary to attend every event. But do participate. If you are saying "yes" to everything or "no" to everything, give yourself a check on whether this is a balanced amount of activity in your life.  
  • Include self-care time. Read a book, get a massage, enjoy a movie, and yes, indulge in a good cry as needed. Laughter is great, too. Let feelings - all of them - out.
  • Help someone else. Ironically, when you reach out to others in need you find a silver lining in your own life.
  • Look at how far you've come so far in your grief journey. What have you learned? Are you doing some things today that a few days, weeks or months ago you didn't think you could? Measure what is working for you.
  • Write to remember! There's more writing ideas on Stories Can Heal.  
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PostcardMy Storybook Publisher is your SFH online tool for creating beautiful, custom photo storybooks, cards and gifts. Holidays give you an impetus and a timeframe to complete your projects! You can complete a card in just a few minutes. Use the methods above as inspiration in creating your projects. Publishing is easy: create a free account, upload and place photos, add text and order!  
  • Should you include or not include your loved one who died in your annual photo card, or include the name as part of your family signature? This is a common question. Only you know what feels best for you. You won't have 100% of the people agree on what is "right" so you might as well take comfort in the fact that you are the expert on what's right for you.
  • Storybooks make fabulous gifts anytime. Choose from three sizes for publishing your short stories, poetry, complete life histories or anything in between. If you have favorite photos but not a lot of text make a "Random Acts of Memory" storybook: Create a short paragraph caption for each photo. Including not only who, what and where, but also a sentence about the significance to you. 
  • New! Coming in October. Create a simple calendar with a single photo, or a collage of photos for each month. Leave the date squares blank for writing memories all year long, auto-fill with traditional dates, or easily customize with family birthdays and anniversaries.
  • New! Coming in October. Have your hot chocolate, coffee or tea along with your memories. Order a set of beautiful 11 oz photo mugs to start your day. Add an inspiring quote for complete personalization to warm up the start of every day.

Note: Holiday shipping deadlines begin December 11, 2010 for ground orders. Use the SHIPnow free shipping coupon below for orders placed by November 7. Be sure to order early and plenty of copies for family and friends.


ShareShare

Mom and daughterWhen you share grief, life reflection and memories you stay connected to your loved one even as you assimilate the changes in your life. Consider these ideas for how you can honor your memories and reach a deeper understanding of your loss.
  • Start a ritual, such as candle lighting, setting a place at the table, visiting the grave site or memorial on a particular day.
  • People love to help, they just don't always know how. The hardest part might be to decide what you need -- company, conversation, distraction, physical help, solving a problem, learning a new skill? As much as you want others to know what you need, they really can't read your mind. If someone said "call if you need anything" then call! It's OK. Share your feelings even if the loss has been months or years ago, as holidays and anniversaries bring your loss to the forefront.
  • Give to charity or volunteer in honor of your loved one. Your experience or advocacy on behalf of support organizations related to the type of loss (illnesses, suicide, violence, child, et al.) is invaluable to the agencies and other people who face the same type of loss.
  • Join SFH on Facebook! The conversation is yours to start, ask, listen and join in as you work through your grief and discover, publish and share your stories. There are more writing ideas, inspirations and savings for FB fans.
  • To explore your loss at a deeply healing level through an eight week writing course,request or start a Storybooks for Healing program in your city.
If this is your year of firsts, that is, the death you mourn is less than a year ago, holidays can be especially rough. Self care is important all the time, but this time of the year can be more of a roller coaster than other seasons. Remember the airline safety rule: In case of loss of air pressure, you must place the oxygen mask on yourself before you can help others. There is no need to try to be strong every moment of every day. There really is positive, life affirming hope after the death of your loved one when you can stop to embrace the autumn rain, even if only momentarily.

We hope we can be a part of your reading, writing and remembering this holiday season.

Sincerely,

Joan Hitchens
Storybooks For Healing

If the holidays get to be overwhelming, or you are feeling depressed, lethargic, or suicidal please seek immediate help or call 911. Support is available through your local bereavement and medical organizations. Most hospice, funeral homes, and healthcare organizations have programs open to the community and are as close as a phone call. These organizations, as well as spiritual leaders and private practice professionals can help or provide you qualified assistance in overcoming your loss.
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Use SHIPnow in the code box during Checkout.
 
Create and place any size order by November 7
on My Storybook Publisher and receive free ground shipping.
Offer Expires November 7, 2010. Only one savings code allowed per order.
About the Storybooks For Healing program
Storybooks For Healing is a bereavement program which assists individuals in making meaning of their grief and loss using a guided writing program. Together in small support groups, participants discover, write and discuss their loss journey, then are encouraged to create a special tribute storybook to share with family and friends.

About the SFH Publishing Center
Creating books, cards and other gifts of memories in My Storybooks Publisher is the second step of the two-part bereavement program. Designed especially for capturing both stories and photos of a loved ones after loss, this web-based program makes it easy to create and publish your own custom story projects based on the SFH Grief Reflection process.
 
My Storybook Publisher is available to anyone wishing to create a beautiful hardbound custom books and photo gifts to commemorate their loved one and does not require attending a Storybooks for Healing program.

Storybooks for Healing and its entities provide this site as an educational and peer informational community and is not engaged in rendering psychological, financial, legal or other professional services. If expert assistance is needed, the services of a competent professional should be sought.