OK, I have to tell the truth! This was totally inspired by yet another viewing of Jerry Maguire.  This movie is chock full   of corny, but totally inspirational sayings, and once again, I laughed and I cried, and cried, and cried.  This reaction surprised me! Why did this movie trigger such an intense response?  What am I holding on to? I thought I was through with all of that silly, emotional stuff!  Perhaps the emotional rut I'm in has to do with the time of month-not that "time of month"-rather, the time that is early September, the time when all of my summer projects should have been completed. Once again, as the Labor Day passes, I am forced to renegotiate all the promises I made to myself last spring. Then again, September is going to be great, right?  Back on track and feeling the groove, Right?  Sure, that's why I sit here watching a movie I've seen at least 10 times, laughing and crying over every piece of corny dialogue.  Yep, it must be the time of the month!

I lifted the title of this newsletter from Jerry Maguire's mission statement. Inspired by a small emotional lapse late at night, our hero glimpsed what he really wanted in life, embraced the inspiration to speak his truth, and courageously called on that deeply buried inner oomph to put himself on the line. Well, if you saw the movie, you know he regrets it immediately and appears to lose everything, until the very last moment when he refocuses on that truth and walks his walk, talks his talk, and lives happily ever after.  Ahhh...if only life could be so easy and efficient.  

The lingering effects of the movie had me awaken this morning struggling with some unwanted emotions and wishing I had something really decadent to eat for breakfast. Maybe even some coffee, as well? Of course, I know better, but it's still difficult to sit here and believe that so much pain is still living within me. Where has it been hiding, and why? How is it that so much sadness and sorrow could be evoked by the trite words spoken in Jerry Maguire?  As happy as I think I am, perhaps there is still some residual pain, hurt or something else that I haven't dealt with.  Perhaps some truth that I don't want to acknowledge is still buried deep inside.

The fact is that no matter what you do and no matter how much weight you lose, if your issues are emotional, you will always find them creeping up unexpectedly and leaving you wondering why you're having such a hard time being true to yourself, your food, your weight loss program, and your health.  They will always be there, no matter how far you stuff them down with food. When you least expect it-usually when you're feeling in control over your diet and your defenses are down-you suddenly feel yourself sliding right back into that pit, never knowing what changed things so radically. 

Well, in my case, I do know. It kind of just happened this morning, and I have a couple of choices if I want to deal with it.  I can sit here and cry some more about everything missing deep in my heart, or I can continue to explore it. So, I'm writing this, sharing with you to see if it helps. If it doesn't, I can always clean my house; that also helps!

I guess my intention here is twofold. I want you to know that I understand what you so often experience, and I want you to see that it is possible to get through it without sabotaging your progress.  So often, when we feel powerless in the face of life's pain, we eat, take a pill, get into an argument, spend recklessly, gossip, or do all manner of things designed to distract ourselves and give the impression that all is well. So maybe, the next time "it" rears its ugly head, simply take a moment to give it a name rather than stuffing it back down inside.  You don't actually have to do more than that; just give it a name and understand that because you are human, you will feel the pangs of ancient sadness, sadness that I believe comes from lifetimes of broken hearts, promises, wishes and dreams.  Again, these are normal feelings; the danger lay in refusing to look at them.

I hope you will at least give it a try the next time you feel that uncomfortable stirring. Don't try to mask it with anger, or food, or anything else.  Whatever it is, know that you can eat your way through it again, but it will be just another opportunity missed to address the real issue, the real truth. 

I leave you today with the words of Dickie Fox, from the end of Jerry Maguire,

"Hey, I don't have all the answers, in life I have failed as much as I've succeeded, but I love my wife, I love my life, and I wish you my kind of success."

Just Lose It!