Participate
I always begin a session with a newcomer by discussing what the client should eat and how it should feel to lose weight, followed by a discussion about what the client actually does eat. At this point, I determine how to counsel the client. For some, it really is just about the food, and that's a good thing; for them, it's simply a matter of buckling down and doing some work. Unfortunately, for most, it quickly becomes apparent that the latter conversation is really an unveiling of the client's emotional pain. Very often, unhappiness or anger bubble beneath the surface, fueled by the conviction that they are unloved, unappreciated, and unseen in relationships, both at home and at work. For these clients, the journey is about the emotions, not the food. Theirs will be a journey during which they discover the root of their inner torment, learn how to face it and own the person they have so long tried to hide. When that happens, they will discover the joy life has to offer because they will have stepped into their true skin and the life they deserve.
Sounds good, right? But how does one do that? I mean, how do you step into your skin? Well, I'll say it straight: Be Happier! If you would just stop all the nonsense and be happier, you would then do what you were given life to do: Participate!
I've been thinking about that word a lot lately. Participate! I thought about it the other night while watching a silly, late-night movie, too much a zombie to turn it off. The main character-your stereotypical shy, skinny, awkward, nerdy guy with the cracking voice-fears everything, especially his latent super powers. When he takes the plunge to explore his supper powers and creates chaos throughout the cosmos in the process, he calls upon his much cooler, yet equally nerdy friend who happens to be a happy guy. As the world is nearing annihilation, the happy geek takes control of the computer, and turning to our nerd, says, "I don't know what you're into lately, but I'm just happy you're finally participating!"
So, my secret's out, and now you know where some of my inspiration comes from! But I did love that line! I also loved seeing the hero summon the courage to look within, recognize his special powers, and try to use those gifts to fight evil. And guess what? In the end, he was happy as he rode into the galaxy with his heroin. So, what's the point? Just what I tell my clients, friends, children, and now you: participate!
Participate because it will make you feel alive, awake, and thankful for everything you have. I know what you're thinking, "I don't have any supper powers!" Ah! This is where you are wrong. We all possess super powers. We are all blessed with some gift that we can share to make the world a better place. All we need to do is uncover and embrace the long ignored parts of ourselves, our true selves. We need to shed the old skin and step into the new one.
How, you might wonder, do you begin? Do you need to join the Salvation Army? Volunteer at the site of the next natural disaster? No. It's a lot easier than that, and it will hardly take any time. Allow me to share an anecdote that illustrates my point.
About 30 years ago, (can it be?) when I was in my early twenties, I visited Spain with my father. Little did I know that this would be our last trip. On the day I so vividly remember, we were touring a quaint, but very busy, little city in the mountains, shopping and talking, and carrying on as tourists do. In the way of youth, I was feeling quite the sophisticate, strutting my worldly New Yorker stuff. This tiny, backward mini-city had nothing to impress the likes of cosmopolitan me; this chickie totally had it going on!
While walking with my father, maneuvering through the crowded sidewalk, bumping into other shoppers and site-seers, sidestepping a variety of vendors, I had to step over something that didn't even register in the moment. Savvy New Yorkers routinely step over something while walking down the street. That's what we do.
In the seconds after the non-event, I noticed people running to the spot I just passed, to the "something" I had just stepped over. On the ground was a man. A man who had collapsed on the sidewalk. Seconds after I nonchalantly stepped over him, everyone in that backward little city rushed to his aid. As I watched, I fell into a state of paralysis.
And then the realization of what I had done began to sink in. I had just stepped over a man who had collapsed, and I just assumed that his tattered clothes indicated that his place in life was on the ground beneath my feet. I was horrified. And here in this backward city in the mountains, the people around me saw a human being in distress before them. They didn't turn away in disgust or contempt or disinterest. They didn't assume it was someone else's place to help. They just did what any normal human being would do.
Was I so engrossed in my own world, so obsessed with my looks, my wants, my issues that I didn't even register "something" on the sidewalk? Is it possible that I could carry on, not missing a beat, strutting my sophisticated stuff? How many times had I done that at home? How many times would I do it again? I hoped never again, no matter what street, what town, what "something" was lying on the ground.
While I was horribly ashamed of myself that day-I still shudder to think about it-the experience led to a metanoia. If it weren't for that "something," that human man collapsed on that sidewalk, I would probably have continued in my state of self-absorption and self-pity, at last until something else triggered my awakening. Instead, I began to notice what the Universe put before me. I began to look for ways to lend a hand. So simple, and so fulfilling. As I began to stop and look with the intent of seeing, I was propelled down a path that was far more fulfilling than the one I had left, and I became inspired to interact, to participate. In so doing, I found more enjoyment in the smaller things in life.
My new understanding-that I had something to offer others-quieted my obsession with my next meal. At the same time, the rumblings of my stomach where no longer so powerful that they ruled my life. I saw that which had seemed so important a short time ago as inconsequential, so meaningless. I was wearing new skin, a thinner skin, in fact. And this skin was far more sensitive than the old, thick skin that never protected me from the the anger and hurt the world sent my way. In my new thin skin, I could empathize with others and feel wonderful about living in my skin.
End the weight; participate!
You can do this! Just Lose It!!!
