Just Jiggle it a little....

Here we are, smack in the middle of summer, and next week it's my turn to vacation with my family and close friends.  So, like everyone else, I'm facing the great unveiling! It doesn't matter where you are in your weight loss or maintenance: when the day comes and the protective clothing must be shed, you have to be ready to strut your stuff in your itsy bitsy, teeny weenie! Strut what? The same stuff we've been working so very hard to lose, or at least camouflage all year? Yep, that stuff! And I can assure you that I feel your pain!

Isn't it interesting that even the modest women who always properly cover up-even in the privacy of their own homes-give in to the pressure to peel off the protective clothing so artfully chosen to disguise the  excesses. And then they submit to reclining, half naked, on the sandy shores, wondering when the beached whale rescue team will materialize to roll them out to sea! Is this really fun for you? Or do you die a thousand deaths as you imagine the spectacle you present to the passengers in the  747 soaring above? 

If you are in the group for whom the bathing suit is just another sacrifice you make for your family, you are my mission today. Today, I intend to help you reframe this whole "exposure" issue. When I think about the pain that prompts us to use extraordinary measures to conceal ourselves, I become sad and angry! Why is it that we persist in our efforts to hide, disappear, and go quietly into the night? Why do we waste the years of our life hiding some aspect of our body, denying our spirit, and  losing touch with the self that we should honor? This is such a terrible waste of a life that should be celebrated, not denigrated.

Am I exaggerating? Think you don't hide? Let's start with the makeup and hair. Who doesn't feel naked, or at the very least lazy, if she doesn't perform a daily ritual with the creams, powders, gels and gloss?  Who feels on top of her game without the help of the blow dryer, flat or curling iron, and the latest product for color-treated hair? Who can claim she doesn't purchase clothing with the sole intent of hiding her less-than-perfect figure?  Admit it! We've become masters at dressing to disguise! Our fashion decisions are ultimately based on the slimming effect of the color (black, of course), the concealing lines of the cut, and the illusory effects of the length and pattern. All of these are supposed to disguise the "baby weight" we're determined to take off this summer so we can look good when the baby starts middle school!

Well, today I want you to know that my hat's off to all of you brave women who are going to suck it up and refuse to sit home, prisoners of imperfection. Yes, you Heroines with Chutzpah are off to the beach, willing, for the sake of the family vacation, to undergo the ultimate indignity of stripping away the protective armor.  As any good warrior knows, the time before battle is the time to strategize, and Sun Tzu had nothing on you modern combatants in the art of war! So, how are you going to conceal the most sensitive areas? A wrap of some sort? A carefully draped towel? Shorts could work, no? Your mother's cover up?  Hubby's tee shirt? A wet suit, perhaps?

Yes, all of the above are strategies you might employ when the moment arrives, that first moment, whether at the beach or your neighborhood pool, when you have to let the horror begin, and your rational brain is replaced by delusional, paranoiac self-consciousness!  

Is anyone watching? Geez, I can't believe this! I've been sweating all the way here, and my damn shorts are glued to my thighs. Now what? Listen, just casually wriggle out of them. Just start jiggling a little. Nobody will notice. Oh, no! The bathing suit is coming off, too. Oh God! Everyone's looking at my butt. Okay, just look casual. Smile like you're thinking about how much fun you're about to have and give...one...good...hard...tug. Phew, they're off. Now, quick, set up the chair.  Sit. Quickly! Whew. Safe. Okay, breathe. Again. Now, casually take out the book and look relaxed.  You're safe. Damn! The book is in the bag on the other side of the very, very  big towel. Oh, yes; today's gonna to be a long day.  Today's gonna to be a long, long day!

After all of these years, no matter what my weight, these thoughts still go through my mind.  We are all so self-conscious about our bodies, constantly looking at other women to see how we measure up, and possibly asking our loved ones the very casual, but extremely frightening (for him) question:  "Hey, honey, do you see that woman over there? Yes, the pretty woman standing by the ocean in the polka dot bikini?  Does my butt look bigger than hers? 

Obviously, I need to tell you men that no matter what, you must say, "Honestly baby, your butt is way smaller." Don't try to hide behind silence because that will only get you another question!

Instead of abusing the poor significant other, instead of doing what comes naturally to most of us, I want to suggest that we look at things differently. How about instead of planning a day at the beach like it's a modern Watergate cover-up, maybe you could look at it as a time to feel good about being alive? Is it really necessary, or even effective to peel off your clothes while seated in your beach chair, maneuver into your cover-up before standing? Do you think anybody is really watching when you have no choice but to go into the water with the kids, bolting from the blanket and hightailing it into the surf hoping that all anyone will remember is a beach blur of your amazing race?

Don't you think it would do more for your relationship with your partner if you change the script this year? Maybe give up the charade of hiding behind the fascinating summer blockbuster about the failing economy and agree to the romantic stroll along the beach that he suggests? Ready or not, this is my advice: Just stop the cover up! It never does any good! Everyone knows what you look like; you look like everyone else. Inside and out! 

So, wear your favorite bathing suit, and if you have a sad old suit from the year one, get yourself a new one-the prettiest you can find.  Make sure it fits securely and be absolutely sure that it's comfortable.  When you get to the beach, drop your bags and your clothes! Do it with confidence and a smile, knowing that a self-assured you is an attractive you. Play in the sand, make a castle, and take a walk. In other words, leave your inhibitions and your cover-ups behind!  Enjoy your body, however it looks; it's yours, and there's nothing more beautiful than a woman being true to herself, accepting and moving with confidence in her beautiful new suit.  When someone pays you a compliment, smile and thank them. No excuses; you deserve it!

It's summer. Just enjoy it!

 You can do it!  Just Lose It!!