The Battle of the Bulge!
I know this might sound ridiculous, but a hundred years ago my history teacher assigned my class a paper on the Battle of the Bulge. "No problem," I thought. "I could write that one in my sleep!" As it turned out, I had apparently been sleeping through history because the rest of the class wrote about a very unfortunate battle fought during some ancient, boring little war. Being a dipsy-do overachiever in the area of self-absorption, I naturally wrote with relish about myself and my personal battle with the bulge. Thankfully, my teacher got quite a giggle from my paper and gave me an 'A'! At first, I was happy with the grade, but then I realized how sad it was that at such a young age I couldn't think of much beyond the fat around my hips!
Thirty years into my long journey, the battle is no longer all consuming. Have I declared total victory? No, but for the most part I only have to deal with relatively minor ambushes. These days, I have a pretty good idea that my weight will be the same tomorrow as it is today. Unfortunately, the same is not true for so many women (and some men) with whom I come into contact. Sadly, their struggle with excess weight is the same struggle from year to year for one reason: the solution they are seeking never changes. They persist in believing that one day the miracle diet will come to Earth and all will be well with the world. I find this so frustrating because I know how they feel, and I also know it is not going to happen. I know that only when they bite the bullet and commit to a certain way of eating and living will they savor the thrill of victory. Yes, thousands have lost weight by dieting like crazy, but keeping off the weight forever, and maintaining optimal health, by fad dieting is not possible. Only by conforming to different behaviors and attitudes will they ever find peace. I wish it were easier for all of us, but it just isn't.
I recently had a conversation with Sharon, a woman who has several acquaintances who have lost weight with me. Each time we meet, she bombards me with questions about my weight loss and the more difficult maintenance. When I explain my straightforward method, she inevitable declares, "There is no way I could do that!" On this particular day she ticked off a list of the many diets she had followed, for the most part successfully. However successful she was, she would inevitably plateau, lose heart and gain back the weight and more.
As I have so often in the past, I tried, once again, to convey to Sharon that she has been battling with the same weight for over 30 years and has tried everything under the sun except what makes the most sense. She explained why she insisted on these fad diets, admitting that she just can't give up anything, and she can't imagine staying on a diet for years. Each of her fad diets allowed her to hang in there because they eventually ended. The problem was keeping off the weight, yet she firmly believes that at some point she will figure out this part.
And therein lies the problem. It appears that very few people have the stamina to stick to a healthy way of eating. They seem to approach weight loss as a necessary evil, wherein episodic periods of deprivation are linked together by longer periods of indulgence. Unfortunately, during the periods of indulgence, they often go AWOL! Why? Well, because they are attempting to shift between extreme deprivation and moderation, and it's just not possible. Extreme deprivation is almost always remedied by extreme overindulgence.
This time, I think I finally convinced Sharon to give my plan a shot. This time, she finally gets that I understood how difficult it is to lose so much weight. I have finally made her see that I have been there, I have kept it off, and today I can eat pretty much whatever I want in moderation, but not every night. In addition, even I gain weight regularly, but I know that I can and will do what is necessary to lose it when three or four pounds creep up on me.
The funny thing about Sharon's thought process was that she feared she would have to give up EVERYTHING at once, and start exercising like a triathlete. In short, she could not accept being forced to turn her world upside down. This made no sense to me since she admitted that she thought of little beside her weight issues and had managed to scrupulously follow some pretty wild and crazy diets. Why does the idea of just eating properly and moderately throw her into a frenzy! Why is Sharon, like many I counsel, unwilling to do the one thing that will get her to her goal? Why do you all flip out when I show you the sure way to get where you want to be?
Over the years, I have come to the conclusion that many have a hard time with it because they know it will work, and they will lose weight and become healthier. So, isn't that the idea? Unfortunately there is an odd element of fear. They don't know who they will be when they get there. They're uncertain about how they will dress, how others will perceive them. Seem like silly problems, right? Silly or not, these are issues that many women deal with, and I suspect that if you're reading this, it might be an issue for you, as well. This is why I write these newsletters. I truly wish to help you deal with the emotions that prompt you to use food as your weapon of self-destruction in your desperate attempt to dull the painful things you carry.
So, I told Sharon what I tell every new client: stop thinking so much! You have tried so many things, and now I want you to stop thinking about how you are going to lose this weight. I am going to tell you how. I then proceeded to tell her to do two simple things for then next week or two: add four or five bottles of plain (non sparkling) water to her daily intake and remove salt from her diet. Removing salt means to stop adding it to food and to stop eating out if at all possible. You cannot control the amount of sodium in foods you do not prepare yourself! Sharon thought this would be very hard to do since salt is a big part of her life, and that is precisely what I wanted her to think about. Simply making one change, like substituting garlic powder for salt, will make a huge difference in her weight and her willingness to consider some more dramatic lifestyle changes.
(By the way, one such change includes avoiding drive-through restaurants. The sodium in fast food is harmful for everyone, children included. If a quick meal is a necessity, visit Subway and order a tuna wrap on whole wheat and fill it up with veggies, no pickles or olives. Rolly Polly also serves a good veggie wrap.)
So, after strategizing over how to incorporate these simple changes, I told Sharon to just do it diligently for a few weeks until she felt ready to really start losing weight. At that time, all she had to do was start reading these newsletters and following along with me. I also explained that some emotional issues were sure to arise, and that she should examine them closely. These unpleasant feelings need to be addressed if there is to be significant weight loss.
This is not an easy process, but it isn't that difficult once you get started. As in any battle, you must plan your strategies and be ever vigilant. You must get to know your enemy inside and out; you must remain ever on the offensive; you must outwit the enemy's every move. By savoring small victories, you will gain the strength and wisdom you will need when the time comes to step up to the front line!
Hang in there, and don't panic! Please understand that if you continue to follow along with me you will stick with the changes to which you commit, and you will get to your goal. Take it one day at a time, add four or five bottles of water, and stay away from sodium. By the end of the week, you should feel a whole lot better and perhaps even stronger-and certainly lighter! When you're ready, I'll help you take the next step; but only when you're ready. This is not a blitz; it's an occupation, and you are charged with bringing peace over time. If you hang in, you will ultimately reign victorious over your personal Battle of the Bulge!
You can do it! Just Lose It!!
