We have all been offered the time-honored advice to take things one day at a time and not sweat the small stuff. Some of us can actually embrace this mode of thinking, while many find both suggestions somewhat insane. They are appalled by the idea of not planning every day down to the smallest detail, controlling everything possible in their lives. Nor can they imagine a world in which there is the option of not thinking about the topic they have obsessed over for a lifetime. I know because I used to recoil at hearing those particular pearls of wisdom from well meaning family and friends who could not possibly comprehend the depth of my struggles with my weight and my personal plight in this life! Small stuff?  My issues were monumental!  How could they presume to understand the suffering that was mine alone!

As the world turned, I found myself on the other side-the wiser side-and these days I offer my clients the same advice I used to find so shortsighted.  Forgive me, if you will, because today I am going to offer you the same advice.  Resist the impulse to delete!

I firmly believe that you must take it one day at a time!  Carpe Diem! Be in the moment. Don't sweat the small stuff! Here is my point: not one of you reading this is where you are because you have been super hungry for the last decade. There are many reasons you have come to read my newsletters, seeking answers to some very tough questions.  So, when and how do you see yourself making the necessary changes? What are you going to do today to stop old habits and negative thinking and overindulging in everything around you?  As I have asked in the past, "If not now, when?"

This is what we know, or should know: it isn't really the food. While there are certain foods that trigger addictions, if you have been reading along, you know you can kick these in a matter of weeks, if not days.  And you know that you have had perfectly great weeks, if not months, many times throughout the year. So, what gives? 

Almost all of my new clients come to me dejected and desperate until I explain the simple truth about how they are going to finally Just Lose It! This is when they make their first mistake. Gung ho and ready to kick butt, they decide to change everything about their lives that they see as "the major problem." I'm quite certain that if you're reading this, you know the drill! In fact you might be

there right now. Having spent the winter indulging in whatever you really wanted and "deserved," you greeted the warmer weather by embracing the most popular diet around, the I-joined-the-gym, weight loss plan. As added proof of your new resolve, you swore off all the stuff you love so very much. Yup, it's out with the donuts and diet soda and in with the salads and sodium free seltzer.  Throw in a cute pair of new sneakers to compliment that shiny new gym membership, and proclaim to anyone left who will listen that this time I'm coming out on top!  

Oh, what a week! The first Friday arrives and the valiant warrior has prevailed! Down a few pounds, already. Whew! It was tough, but she did it.  And now it's the weekend and time for a well deserved break-just a little one, before picking up the gauntlet on Monday...  

On the other hand, the mighty warrior might have prevailed over that first  weekend like nobody's business. Realistically, her success could be attributed to the fact that nobody would agree to spend another moment with her crabby, yet, self-satisfied self. The friends might have taken a rain check in order to party with more socially acceptable eaters, making the warrior's victory a bit weaker...but a victory none-the-less!

The thing is, the weekday warrior approach doesn't work. Sure, for a minute it will, but when that minute is up, so is the number on your scale.  The problem is that you can't take on too much all at once. You can't make earth-shattering changes. You can't expect to sustain any kind of diet regimen if you make drastic changes, trying to become a completely different person, overnight. Nobody changes like that; real change takes time.   

While I get that every single one of you wants to lose weight yesterday, I'm more concerned that it's gone forever; therefore, you have to accept that it must be done in steps-not necessarily baby steps, but steps, nonetheless. 

Step One: Think about it.  You will never get to your goal, or even close, if you don't think about the kind of changes you must make. These are not temporary changes. These are life-altering changes that must become a part of the very fiber of your being. If you simply start eating to lose, you will eventually revert back to eating to gain; thus, you must change your ways!  Easier said than done, granted, but that is why you need to first allow the change to happen mentally.   

Now, this doesn't have to take years; it can take anywhere from a few months, weeks, days, or hours. The reason this part is so important is that you need to mentally make that commitment to yourself through and through-and that means through the weekends, as well!  Mentally, you must understand that you are committing to changing something forever. Let that seep in and accept it, not as a punishment, but as a reward. For the first time, free yourself from the mental exhaustion of the fear of failure. Yes, everything you tried in the past failed, but now you are going to commit to making the internal shifts that will take you where you want to go. 

Step Two:  Make one or two big changes at a time. Commit to them first, and then add another.  When you see the changes in your body and your weight, that will be your incentive to adhere to the new behaviors.  For instance, you might decide to drink only water for a week, giving up soda, coffee, and juices.  If the thought of doing so makes you panic, then understand why it is necessary to take baby steps.  So, switch over to water, adding lemon if you like, making it a bit more refreshing.  The lemon will help alkalize your body, getting it back into a state of balance and health.  Let's make this even easier and permit non-caffeinated tea, as well. After you have done this for a week or two, go on to the next step-unless you experienced very little pain. In that case move on more quickly!

Step Three:  Now that you have taken the initial plunge, let's add another step.  This one can be more challenging because it does entail a bit more diligence on your part.  This step might mean omitting certain foods or condiments from your world.  For instance, in this step you might omit salt/sodium from your diet.  This is a big step for many, and it is imperative to your weight loss, as well as your health.  The salt in your diet is actually stopping you from losing weight, and it is making your scale do a jig every other day, causing you to feel defeated over and over again.  This step will be more challenging than you might imagine because sodium is in everything! It is in all processed foods, especially the low fat products. Since the purveyors of all of these wonderful convenience foods  want you to salivate over their products, they have to keep them tasting great, and sodium is the ingredient of choice.

Step Four:  In this step you decide to have your last meal of the day no later than 6:00 p.m.  This will help ensure that you go to bed feeling a bit hungry, since that is necessary for weight loss to occur.

I think you get my gist.  The person who expects to change every bad habit in the blink of an eye will never make it in the long run.  Take it a lot slower, and your weight will come off as you learn more about yourself and your strengths. Before you know it, you will happily embrace your new habits as you see for yourself the benefit each and every little change has on your physical and mental health!

You can do this!  Just Lose It!

Just Lose It!