Tea Time with Berta
The "Thing" is... In the many years I have counseled clients about weight loss, I have noticed that people frequently minimize large problems, sloughing them off as insignificant peculiarities. Unfortunately, the small, seemingly insignificant problems that are never addressed are what get us, in the end. Usually, we don't see the correlation between certain small issues and our inability to lose weight. Deep down, the issues concern us, but we don't address them because we think they are inconsequential, or we are ashamed that we can't change such small behavioral patterns. If you can't understand why losing weight is so hard, and you feel as if you are the only one on earth who is overweight and unable to lose a pound, my bet is that you are a Minimizer: someone who constantly wails, "I just can't figure it out! Why can't I lose weight? What's wrong with me?" Well, I'm checking in today to tell you that nothing is wrong with you; you can lose weight easily, and I have figured it out for you! Losing consistently is hard, I'll give you that, but every single one of you reading this has lost weight this year-lots of it, I'll bet. As a matter of fact, why don't you take a moment, and instead of counting how many pounds you've gained in the past 12 months, why not add up the total number of pounds you've lost? Personally, I have maintained my weight, yet I have had to lose at least 60 pounds in the past 12 months! This makes sense because I tend to gain a pound or two here and there-maybe 30 times in 12 months. So, it all adds up; however, I know that I need to take it off immediately if I don't want to be up 60 pounds next year. (link - DYK - I gain as much as you a year). So those little losses don't just count; they are critical. My point is that you tend to fixate on what you have gained. Perhaps you need a new perspective. You have also lost; so, why not give yourself some credit for that! Having thought about it, can you agree with me that you can eat appropriately and lose weight easily at certain times? Do you see that the difficulty comes with being consistent? Okay, let's figure out why it is so difficult to remain consistent. The other day, a client said that she had no idea why she couldn't walk away from dessert. She was obviously ashamed to admit that once she took the first bite of something sweet, she just couldn't stop. She was equally puzzled, given her determination and self-control in other areas of her life. "It's not like I'm on crack or something," she joked, "I just have a thing with sugar." I stopped her immediately. "Back up!" I said, "You just suggested that your use of sugar is nothing more than a 'thing?'" She agreed, again saying that that it wasn't as if she would kill for a hit of the stuff, but she certainly didn't understand why she couldn't rise above the temptation to finish off the carton of ice cream in the freezer. Talk about minimizing an issue! Sugar is a "thing" for her? Sugar, the most addictive substance in the world today, linked to just about every disease known to humanity and it's just a "thing"? {LINK Sugar} & {Sugar Addict} Allow me to shed some light on this. Sugar addiction afflicts millions who, like my client, believe they are slaves to sugar simply because they can't seem to resist sweet-tasting foods. These men and women are deeply ashamed of their lack of self-control. As if self-control were the problem! People!! You were never in control around sugar because sugar, by its very nature, has you in a death grip, and it will not let go! Perhaps it would be more helpful if you were to look at your "weakness" around sugar as you might look at someone else's "weakness" around crack cocaine. Sadly, the sugar problem is far more pervasive and destructive than the crack problem. Pervasive, because sugar is found in just about everything we consume, and destructive because we minimize its addictive power and think of it as a special treat, an appropriate reward we might give ourselves for having the self control to stay true to our eating plan for a week. So, we have a cookie or two to celebrate our success. While it is true in the context of weight loss that a couple of cookies will do you no harm, those same cookies, in the context of addiction, are practically lethal! For a moment, let's call those celebratory cookies crack cocaine. If a crack addict were clean for a week, do you think one very small celebratory hit of crack would jeopardize her recovery? Well, the same can be answered for anyone dealing with addiction, whether to alcohol or cigarettes, crack or sugar because it is only a very foolish person who thinks that once she is addicted to something, she can just quit. To make matters worse for the cookie monsters, there are no 12-step programs, patches, or rehab centers for those in need of a sugar detox! Please be clear that I am not discussing the addictive nature of sugar because I want you to beat the addiction and lose weight. I am discussing the issue to shed light on the underbelly of the "thing" about sugar. The bigger problem I am talking about revolves around the simple fact that unbeknownst to you, you are being plied with sugar continually throughout the day. Virtually every processed food contains sugar in a form so far removed from your ability to detect it that it is kind of scary. Go ahead and try to point to all of the ingredients on the label of a "healthy" processed food that are really sugars. You can't? Color me shocked! This is why breaking a sugar addiction is, in fact, harder than breaking any other addiction. Food manufacturers flavor nearly all processed foods with sugars, and most Americans are addicted to processed foods. Hmm... Thus, you are, in essence, a crack addict in recovery who is unwittingly consuming food laced with crack all day long. It's called something else on the food labels, but crack it is! So then when you eat it and the addiction is reignited and you start the binge that is inevitable, you think your lack of self-control proves you are weak and shameful. You are not weak! You are addicted! And your drug of choice is being injected into almost everything you consume. That's why you joke and speak of being addicted to Mucho Nacho Chips-baked, of course. Well, it's no joke. You are mucho addicted and you must stop minimizing this threat to your health! Perhaps you had no idea how dangerous minimizing the sugar "thing" could be. Well, now you know, and if you are one of the addicted, you need to take it seriously. Do not minimize the issue, or think that you can just kick it by simply avoiding desserts for a few days or weeks or even months. What I am trying to get across to you is that your efforts to lose weight are being sabotaged by your judgments about yourself and the poison in your "food." Would you please take a moment this week to calculate all of the weight you have lost in the past year, pat yourself on the back and understand that the ability to lose that amount of weight is a great achievement? Would you next try to understand that the reason you keep falling off the wagon is because the substance to which you are most addicted is in everything you eat, and your minimization of its addictive quality renders you helpless to deal with it? Please don't delude yourself any longer! You can't handle even a bit of it. I know that I can't! It is not that you are weak or that you can't do this; it is that you have not admitted that you are addicted and you have not understood how dire an issue this is on so many levels. Can you possibly commit to doing yourself a favor? Can you stop beating yourself up and pat yourself on the back repeating after me... Hi, my name is ___________________ , and I am a sugar addict, and I need help. That's a good start! Now, eat whole foods!! And check out this newsletter about addictions (link).
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