Drive by Eaters

Sometimes knowing how to lose weight by choosing good foods and understanding how bad choices derail us is enough to keep us on the right track. At other times, though, we have to acknowledge that some of our behavior belies our thoughts and words, and the fact that we lie is written on our waistline and thighs!  Me, lie?  Yes! Everyone does it. We pretend to be mystified as the number on the scale creeps or leaps upward, wondering why it is happening, gathering witnesses who will take the stand in our defense and swear we have lived on lettuce for the last ten years.  Ah, but your witnesses don't know all the facts. When the prosecution calls in the expert, I, Berta, will shoot holes in your defense. I know the truth. You are guilty of Drive-By Eating!

It's kind of funny to me, in retrospect, of course, because back in the day I thought I was the only one in the world who engaged in this clandestine behavior. I have since learned that many people, male and female of all ages, shapes and sizes are also practitioners. They have figured it out: there aren't very many places where you can eat anonymously.  No matter where you do it, someone can monitor your intake, somehow. Even if you bring a stash of your favorite junk home and eat yourself into unconsciousness, in the morning, empty bags and cartons and crumbs will be the evidence of your disgrace. And that's only if you were sure to double lock the door so no one would barge in and discover you in flagrant! So, if you're going to binge, home isn't your safe house. Besides, bringing that stuff into the home makes the act too real; it's like participating in a cover-up.  Binging at home, you think, makes you more susceptible to weight gain because it's there, on your china, in your bedroom, only steps away from the scale. But there is a safe place where nobody knows your name: your car!  Something about that car, your own autonomous nation where you are both ruler and citizen, and no rules apply!

Before I ever realized that I was in the thick of it as far as my emotional eating was concerned, I used to engage in this furtive activity with regularity.My car was my sanctuary and eating my favorite vice; thus, drive-by eating was a marriage made in the 7-Eleven parking lot.  I would plan the drive-by for days, trolling the local joints and out-of-town suppliers. I would be sure to leave plenty of time make the buy and enjoy it all without interruption.As I scored my M&Ms, dark chocolate, french vanilla Haagen Daz, caramel sauce and marshmallow Fluff, I had a ready alibi in case the person at the register became suspicious. I would enter the "party" plea. When I had it all in the bag, I would find an obscure parking lot and eat with abandon.  Afterward, I could easily deep six the evidence in a nearby dumpster. No witnesses. 

No one knew I did this, of course, that was part of the fun, in a way.  Throughout the years of drive-by eating, I kept up the façade that my excess weight was some odd thing that had befallen my body after I stopped growing and my hormones kicked in; odd that it happened, but not my fault.

I tell you all of this because over the last ten years I have heard many people tell the same story.  The scene of the crime might be different-for many the safe haven is the drive-through window at a fast food joint.  If something bothers them during the day, all they have to do is run a few errands, roll through the window picking up as much as necessary, and drive around or find a quiet spot in a secluded parking lot to do their thing.   

Perhaps you're one of those who prefer your fix on the way home from work? Driving home-all alone-you think you're hungry, but that's not really the reason you do it. You see, this is your little secret, and it is all yours.  Your "me" time after a long day of work. Your time before going home and pretending to be that upbeat person whose universe is in harmony, when it really isn't, for you, at least.  So, you have your snack and can face sitting down to the healthy dinner and lunch tomorrow, fooling all who care about you. Yep, they'll all testify.  And you'll laugh all the way to the deli. What they don't know won't hurt you, right?

 Let me tell you that this is one of the hardest behaviors to change because you do it alone, and it has afforded you solace for years, even if only for a moment. Admitting to it might be very difficult for you.  I know it was for me because I couldn't imagine not having my drives, my escape from the world for just a few moments! After all I did for everyone else, I deserved it, didn't I?

Ahh, that is the whole point of my writing: to get you to look at what even your closest friends might not know about you.To get you to face the truth that to move forward you might have to go it without that net, false and full of holes as it is, as you have known for a long time.  What will you do, then?  Well, reflection is a good place to begin. It doesn't sound quite as fun as the freebasing road trip, but it might actually bring you some of the peace you are looking for.  Slow yourself down a bit, turn off the automatic pilot, and head in a new direction. 

As an addendum, I would like to mention that many have recounted their stories and said that the drive-by was usually accompanied by tears over whatever had upset them.  Please check out [Our Shame] to learn more about the link between bingeing and emotional upset. Also, I wrote a piece on breathing and taking a moment before you act on an impulse to give in to an old soothing habit.  If you think you might be ready to let go of your joy rides and opt for something a little healthier, please go to (breathe) and give it a whirl. 

You might be surprised to find that you're a little stronger than you  thought. Face your truth; it will, ultimately set you free.  

Red & White Bean Curry - serves 4

 This is an all time favorite. It encompasses all elements of what I consider to be a perfect meal.  It's delicious, easy to make, healthy, low fat, high fiber, and can be enjoyed cold or hot for lunch or dinner.  I hope you enjoy it as much as I have!

What you need :
3 oz. cup of red kidney beans or an 8oz can red kidney beans, drained  

3 oz. cup of haricot beans or an 8 oz. can of haricot beans, drained

2 oz. cup of black-eye peas or an 8 oz. can of black-eye peas, drained

2 tbsp olive oil

1 tsp black mustard seeds

1 onion, finely chopped

1 tsp garlic paste

1 tsp ginger paste

2 tbsp curry paste

2 fresh green chiles, seeded and chopped

14 oz. canned tomatoes

2 tbsp tomato paste

4-5 fl oz cup water

2 tbsp chopped fresh cilantro, plus extra to garnish 

What to do:
1.  Place  the hard beans in a large bowl, add enough cold water to cover, and let soak for at least 4 hours or overnight.  Or, open a can.   

2.  a. Drain the beans and place in a large, heavy bottom pan.  Add enough cold water to cover and bring to a boil over high heat.  Boil vigorously for 15 minutes, then reduce the heat, cover and let simmer for 1-1/2 hours, or until the beans are tender.

     b. If using canned beans, place all the canned beans together in a large pan, add small amount of water and mix beans and warm at low heat.   

3.  Heat the olive oil in a separate pan.  Add the mustard seeds and cumin seeds and cook over low heat, stirring, for 2 minutes, or until they give off their aroma.  Add the onion and cook, stirring frequently, for 5 minutes, or until softened.  Add the garlic paste, ginger paste, curry paste, and chiles and cook, stirring, for 2 minutes/  Stir in the tomatoes and their can juices and the tomato paste.  If the sauce seems thick , add the water.  Break up the tomatoes with wooden spoon.  Season with salt (if needed) and let simmer for 5 minutes.   

4.  Drain the beans and add them to the sauce then stir in the chopped cilantro.  Cover and let simmer for an additional 30 minutes, or until the beans are tender and the sauce has thickened.   Garnish with extra chopped cilantro and serve immediately. 

Enjoy!