Volume 1
Issue 13
04-01-2010

Dear ,

 
Hello!  And welcome back to this week's e-zine and blog.  I had a very busy and interesting week.  Thanks to all of you, there has been tons of interest in the first free teleseminar that I am offering on April 7th at 8 p.m. EDT.   I will begin the one-hour class by explaining exactly how a weight loss week should feel.  Sounds like an odd topic, doesn't it?  Well, that's precisely why my approach to improved health and weight loss is different from any other you have read about or tried!  Once you understand how your body FEELS when it is going to let go of excess weight, and when to expect this feeling to arise, you will finally be able to conquer your issues around food and control your weight, forever.  I promise!  Whether you are just starting or need a kick start mid-stream, register for this call at  

Start Losing it with Berta Teleseminar!

 
During the call, I will also introduce exciting details about my new "Get Started Losing Weight" tele-class in which I will lay out a step-by-step approach to managing your first month of weight loss.   I am very excited by the opportunity to be your guide in a weekly interactive class and hope you will join me! 
 
In the meantime, my blog this week focuses on a subject that most of us would prefer not to acknowledge. Unfortunately, we all know, or might even be, one of "those" women.  Find out what I am talking about and how to anticipate and maneuver through her discomfort by clicking on www.justloseit.com/blog.

 

Tea Time with Berta:

Peace Eating
 
In the course of a week I hear so many excuses for improper eating! Some are humorous attempts to deflect blame, but most are symptomatic of a personality issue that helped create the weight problem in the first place. 
 
Fill in the blank, girls.
Select all that apply.
 
"What choice did I have, Berta? I had to eat it because  _____ ."
 
___ my mother-in-law gets really offended if you don't eat dessert.
___ the girls would have been upset if I suddenly wouldn't take them for  ice cream.
___ my husband would have been furious; the restaurant was very expensive.
___ my daughter took me to a fondue place to celebrate her promotion.
___ my girlfriend at work baked a birthday cake for me.
 
Now, what do all of these scenarios have in common? What makes each of the above situations difficult for you?
 
It's the story of your life. There you are doing great when a friend begs you to go out to eat. Knowing that nothing on the menu fits with your food plan, you really don't want to risk jeopardizing your progress. Of course, you could decide to opt out, but that would disappoint your friend, and so you keep the peace and agree to go.  The trouble has begun because you think that by agreeing to go, you also agreed to eat the unhealthy foods that you do not want. You feel that familiar sense of powerlessness. "How can I refuse to order without looking rude, or even worse, judgmental?  They'll never ask me again if I do that. And who likes to be with rude, judgmental people?" Obviously, nobody!  And so, you agree to share the four-cheese fondue, immediately beginning to feel guilty and a bit angry: angry with yourself and the person who put you into the position of having to peace eat.  "What else could I have done?" you think to yourself. "She really wanted me to share the dish with her, and she knows it's my favorite."  I understand that a situation like this is hard for you because you have never learned how to refuse to eat what someone else desperately wants to share with you. 
 
When confronted with a request to eat something they wish to avoid, the majority of my clients, and, I suspect, my readers, always succumb to what they perceive to be the polite choice of sitting down and eating.  Resigned to fulfill what they see as a moral, social, or familial obligation, they deny what they need in order to guarantee the happiness of another.  They know this sacrifice means that the terrible cravings for sugar and salt that have finally abated will be back with a vengeance, yet they feel obligated to keep the peace and eat as requested. Afterward, there will be one of a hundred excuses that all boil down to the simple, plaintive: "I couldn't hurt her feelings." 
 
Why? Why is it always about how someone else is going to feel? And, in all honesty, when you excuse your behavior in this way, can you really be sure that refusing a serving of food would truly hurt the other person's feelings?  How can you possibly know that?  The truth is that you can't.  You could ask the person if he or she would be crushed by a polite, "No, thank you," but have you ever done that? No? Why not? I'll tell you why! You really don't think about it anymore. Somewhere along the way, you developed the idea that people offer other people food to make themselves happy. You have spent years assuming that what you eat has a direct impact on someone else's quality of life; consequently, agreeing to eat something for someone else's benefit has become a habit, a bad habit that is based on a faulty assumption! Seriously, have you ever witnessed a hostess entering a state of divine rapture because you tasted her Triple Chocolate Cheesecake?
 
Just for argument's sake, let's say you asked your hostess how she would feel if you refused the Fettuccini Alfredo, and she admitted that she would be scarred for life.   Can you see that this would not be your problem?  Can you see that your choosing to damage your body will not fix her self-esteem issues? Can you also see how absurd it is to even want to try?
 
Okay, now let's go back to the countless times you have consumed something unhealthy to protect someone else's feelings. Is it possible that you had an ulterior motive?  Can you admit that you might have done it because of your need to feel loved and accepted?  Is it possible that by eating the crème brûlée and complimenting the chef, you were attempting to endear yourself to him, to make him like you, to win his love?  In all honesty, have you ever had the experience of sampling his Grandma's Pecan Pumpkin Pie while he gazed upon you adoringly, promising you lifelong devotion for making such a sacrifice? Somehow, I doubt it!
 
So, before you feel compelled to peace eat again, I want to make a few suggestions.  First, even if you can't yet just say "No," you must start internalizing the truth that eating well and making good choices are nothing to be ashamed about! You must learn to put your health first with pride, not apologies!  So let's look at your options. If you feel comfortable with honesty, why not just give others a heads up? Tell them that you are eating on the light side and offer to provide a dish of your own for their guests to enjoy.  If you are new to my program and not quite ready for honesty, you could feign a minor stomach upset.  Or you could explain that you had a huge lunch/breakfast and are still full.  You might say,"I couldn't possibly have any more to eat; but thanks, it looks amazing!"   Decide what you are most comfortable with and plan ahead to use that strategy.  And won't you feel great on the day  you can spontaneously abandon the plan and just own your truth and say, "No, thank you"?

Did you know... 

that most that people who think it terribly costly to eat well and lose weight have based their opinions on faulty reasoning?  I absolutely disagree that the eating well will break the bank, and I should know because I have been doing it for a very long time. The idea that produce is too expensive to buy weekly, and that selecting organic food is impossible for the average family is rubbish!  All the talk of expense is yet another excuse for not taking control of our eating.
 
While thinking about this excuse - one that I hear almost daily - I came across an interesting segment on The Early Show, on CBS.  Vera Gibbons did a spot on the high cost of losing weight.  Well, I found this fascinating, and I just love to have researched data that shows the high cost of "diet food."  Gibbons broke it down by comparing what she claims are the top four weight-loss programs and how much it costs to lose one pound on each.  Since she didn't consult me, I took the liberty of adding my data for your edification!
 
Weight Watchers
Claims you can lose up to 8 pounds/month
Typical cost per month: $716.00
Cost per pound: $90.00
 
Nutrisystem
Claims you can lose up to 8 pounds/month
Typical cost per month: $529.00
Cost per pound: $66.00 
 
Atkins
Claims you can lose up to 21 pounds the first month and up to 12 pounds/month thereafter.
Typical cost per month:  $948.00
Cost per pound: $45.00 the first month, $79.00 thereafter
I personally believe this diet should be banned! 
 
South Beach Diet
Claims you can lose up to 17 pounds the first month and up to 12 pounds/month thereafter
Typical cost per month:  $818.00
Cost per pound:  $48.00 the first month, $102.00 thereafter
 

My favorite things to eat!

 

The first week of spring! Since it's spring, I thought I would suggest a great idea for your spring and summer aperitif.
 

White Wine Spritzer
Serves eight

What you will need:
 
1 bottle white wine
4 cups sparkling mineral water, chilled
2 cups with grapes, frozen  (the frozen grapes act as ice cubes to keep the wine chilled and looking beautiful)
 
Put the chilled white wine, mineral water, and frozen grapes in a large pitcher and mix well. Serve the spritzer in your favorite large summer glasses.
 
Recipe from Easy Summer Food: Simple Recipes for Sunny Days, 
Ryland Peters & Small.
 
 
 
And... since so many of you loved the Quick Chick Pea Salad, here is another great one.
 

Tonno e fagioli

 
What you will need:
 
1-2 large garlic cloves, crushed
1 tbsp sherry vinegar or white wine vinegar
1/3 cup extra virgin olive oil
4 cups cooked or canned cannellini or other white bean

                    (2 cans, 15oz. rinsed and drained)
2 red onions, thinly sliced into petals, then blanched or 6 small scallions, sliced
14 oz. can or jar best-quality tuna
a few handfuls of fresh basil leaves
sea salt (if you must) and freshly ground black pepper
 
What to do:
 
Put the garlic on a cutting board, crush with the flat of a knife, add a large pinch of sea salt, and then mash to a paste with the tip of the knife.  Transfer to a bowl and add the vinegar and 2 tablespoons of the oil and beat with a fork.
 
Add the beans and onions and toss gently. Taste, and then add extra olive oil and vinegar to taste.
 
Drain the tuna and separate into large chunks.  Add to the bowl and turn gently to coat with the dressing.  Top with the basil and black pepper.
 
*Blanching is optional-takes the edge off of the onions. To blanch, place onions in saucepan of boiling water for a minute, and then remove from heat and drain.