Speaking is Sexy
Volume III, No. 4                                                                      January 2012

"Instead of thinking about where you are, think about where you want to be.  It takes twenty years of hard work to become an overnight success."
                                            ~ Diana Rankin
               
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Included In This Issue
What's Marion Up To Now?
Have you downloaded your FREE report yet?
Speaking Is Sexy Tip #4, Vol. 3, With or Without Notes?
Is 2012 the year for you?!
What Do My Readers Say?
How Can I Help You?
Food for Thought
More about Marion Claire ~ Revealing an Embarrassing Secret
Why is it called Speaking is Sexy? 
When what someone says and how they say it sends chills up and down your spine, that's sexy! 
 
Whether you're giving a speech, having a conversation, saying your wedding vows, teaching your kids, exhorting your sales team, or talking in your sleep, if someone is listening, you are inspiring them.  It's important to remember that whenever you speak, someone is influenced by each word you say. 
 
Be a positive influence.  Be an inspiration.  That's very sexy.
 

Did you miss a previous Speaking Tip?

You can find them here!
 
If you are...
  • Currently speaking in public,
  • Thinking of speaking in public, but procrastinating like crazy,
  • Afraid to speak in public,
  • Envious of people who speak confidently in public, or
  • Would just like a few tips on how you can speak better than they do...
This newsletter will give you tips and techniques to become the accomplished speaker you've always longed to be.

MARION CLAIRE coaches solopreneurs, business owners, middle managers and executives who want to become calm, confident, unique and sexy speakers who influence and inspire others with the power of their voice. www.marionclaire.com

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What's Marion Up To Now?     

      "I recently had the privilege of coordinating and attending the Los Angeles Jewish Chamber SBA Luncheon with Marion Claire. The experience and knowledge Marion led us through felt like a custom-designed, presentation skills training process. Having participated in a wide variety of workshops and seminars, I can be pretty discerning. Marion's skills and warmth are authentic and I highly recommend her."

         ~ Paul Goldstein, Vice President, Los  

Angeles Jewish Chamber of Commerce

 

      Many thanks, Paul, and all the attendees at the LA Jewish Chamber of Commerce Business Luncheon on Tuesday, January 10,2012, who told me how much they benefited from my talk on "How to Become a Unique and Sexy Speaker."   I'm grateful for this delightful opportunity to talk to so many new people, as well as to meet and greet my readers who were able to be there.

 

      Please get in touch with me if you couldn't make it to this luncheon but would like to set up one of your own or you have an event coming up and you need a unique and sexy speaker. I'd love to speak to your group in your neighborhood one of these days.  

 

Send me an email: [email protected] and let's talk about it!

HAVE YOU DOWNLOADED YOUR FREE REPORT YET?     

 

Go to www.marionclaire.com and on the Home page, you will find a link to download this valuable speaking tool:

 

5 MAGIC KEYS TO CREATING ANY SPEECH!

 

Knowing the answers to these Five Questions will enable you to create a fabulous speech for almost any occasion.  Download your Free Report now and make creating your next speech so much easier! 

   Speaking Is Sexy Tip #4, Vol. 3    

 

With or Without Notes?      

  

      It's sort of like "To be or not to be, that is the question." If Shakespeare had been a speaker's coach, Hamlet might have asked, "To use notes or not to use notes, what is the answer?"

      There's a lot of speaker's envy going around these days directed toward those few individuals (and they really are very few) who seem to be able to get up in front of a crowd and be brilliant, funny, exciting, organized and uplifting all off the top of their heads, without a note in sight. It's so irritating to the rest of us who don't feel comfortable without preparing, planning, writing out and transferring to 3x5 notecards almost every word we plan to say. It's not that we don't know our material. It's more a case of just not feeling comfortable without our blankie, or the equivalent thereof.

      Okay, that's an exaggeration. 99% of us have outgrown our blankies and all the other crutches we needed to maneuver our way through childhood, adolescence and young adulthood. Still, if truth be told, we often feel like a scared kid again when we have to speak in front of a group. That's when we cling to our notes with a death grip and pray we can get through our talk without forgetting to look at them.

      What do those super-confident, super-human beings who make it look so effortless know that we don't? Like the Scarecrow, Tin Man and Lion in 'The Wizard of Oz,' we've all got a brain, a heart, and the courage to use both. So why do we get flustered, anxious, confused and lightheaded when we try to speak off the cuff?

      (By the way, do you know where the expression 'off the cuff' comes from? It's an old, pre-teleprompter, professional speaker's trick: they would write key words and phrases on the cuffs of their sleeves and slyly look at them at key moments during their talk. Politicians, preachers, leaders of all kinds did this. They got very smooth at it and most audiences never noticed. There's all kinds of magic in speaking, if you know the tricks.)

           

      Let's tell the truth. There are very few people who have the innate ability to quickly think on their feet, organize in their heads while they're speaking, and make it look so easy we wonder why we can't do that. However, before you give them too much credit, remember that this is not the first time they ever stood in front of a group. They've done this many times before, in many places, from childhood up until the very day you happen to be in the audience. They've said these things before, or they've heard someone else say them and they have a really good memory. They're comfortable in front of a crowd partly because they have developed confidence over the years, partly because they're saying the same things they've said over and over again in different contexts. Just because it's the first time you're hearing it doesn't mean they've never said it before.

      Is this a skill that can be learned? Yes. Is it really doable? Depends on the speaker. Is it important to make the effort? That's a judgment call. You get to decide for yourself.

      Many speakers say they don't look at their notes while they're speaking, but they don't feel comfortable unless they have them handy. It's sort of like the fire alarm box: you usually don't need to use it, but you're grateful it's there when you do.

      Why use notes when you speak? They'll keep you organized and on point. If you go off on a tangent, they'll pull you back in line. If you leave something out, they'll remind you. If you have too much material and too little time, they'll tell you quickly which points to leave out in order to fit the most important ones in. They'll give you 'thinking time'; when you're not sure what to say next, taking a deep breath and consulting your notes is a sure-fire solution. If you get nervous mid-speech, breathing and looking at your notes for a moment or two will give you time to calm down, focus and get back on track. If you have an important quote, a big finish, or a particular call to action that you want to say in a specific manner, you'll have it right there at hand so you can't make a mistake or forget.

      Most important of all, the audience doesn't care whether you're using notes or not. It's a non-issue. They came to hear what you have to say. Your message is your gift to them, and you want your message to land. The audience will be so happy to take home the information you gave them, they'll never remember whether or not you used notes. If it doesn't bother them, why should it bother you?


DO YOU HAVE FRIENDS OR COLLEAGUES who would benefit from seeing this Speaking Is Sexy eZine?  Please forward it to them or send me their email address and I'll send them a copy and tell them it's from you!  www.marionclaire.com 
Want to use this Speaking Is Sexy Tip in your Newsletter or Blog?  
You can, as long as you include this entire blurb:  For fourteen years, Marion Claire has coached entrepreneurs, executives, and professionals of all kinds to become the confident, sexy speakers they longed to be.  She'll also help you write your speeches for almost any occasion.  For more information about Marion and her programs, check out her website at www.marionclaire.com 

Is 2012 the year you'll become the
Unique and Sexy Public Speaker you've always wanted to be?



  

It's easier than you think to overcome your nervousness and increase your confidenceYou don't need to be reluctant to get up to speak ever again. Amaze yourself at how quickly you can get rid of whatever is holding you back! Give yourself a break! Let me help you become the speaker you'd really like to be!

 

Do you need a quick polish on your present speaking skills? Let me show you some useful techniques that will give you more confidence and help you speak like a pro.

 

Are you planning a major speech for an important occasion and want guidance on writing and delivering it? In a very short time, you can learn how to organize your thoughts, create a winning presentation, and speak from your heart with authority and enthusiasm.

 

Do you have any debilitating fears that paralyze you at the thought of giving a speech? I can help you overcome them using a special process that focuses specifically on getting rid of the limiting beliefs that keep you from speaking with confidence and joy. Quickly eliminate any fears that have been holding you back. At the same time, acquire tips and techniques to enable you to be calm, confident, unique and sexy every time you speak!

 

      Give yourself a gift that will last a lifetime. Talk to me confidentially about your special speaking needs. I'm always available for a *free* half-hour consultation at 310/659-8956 or email me at [email protected]

What Do My Readers Say? 

 

I look forward to reading your 'Speaking is Sexy' newsletter, which always has some unique, thoughtful and important information that will help me in both my business and personal life.  You have great insight, wisdom and practical tips to help guide me in my many speaking opportunities and coaching experiences.  Thank you, Marion!

 

         ~Mary Berney, MSW, Executive Coach/DISC Trainer

 

 

"Each month I read the tips in Speaking is Sexy and it helps me refresh my skills. As a lawyer, I need to be able to feel comfortable in giving speeches and the tips in the newsletter have continued to help me. Thank you Speaking is Sexy!"  

 

~Sharon Kopman, Attorney at Law  

 

HOW CAN I HELP YOU? LET ME KNOW!

 

Would you like to comment on what you've seen here? Your feedback means a great deal to me. Contact me at [email protected]

 

Did you miss previous Speaking Tips? You can find them at www.marionclaire.com/newsletter

 

conftableFood for Thought

 

Treat people as if they are what they ought to be and you help them to become what they are capable of being. 

                 ~Johann Wolfgang Von Goethe 

More about Marion Claire

 

Revealing an Embarrassing Secret   

 

      We all have an embarrassing secret that we don't want to reveal because we're afraid people will think less of us if we do so. For many, many years I hid mine. I was sure that people would look at me strangely or not want to be around me if they knew I was less than perfect.  

      Boy, was I wrong!

      The thing about hiding the truth about yourself is that you are depriving yourself and the folks you come in contact with of the opportunity to have an honest relationship with you. True, you don't want to just blurt out your deepest feelings or most painful memories at inappropriate moments. You want to be sure your revelations will be received with kindness, consideration and sympathy, and not with distaste, anger or ridicule.

      But it is far better to be open about the things you cannot change that have shaped who you are. Facing the secrets of the past helps you understand yourself and it helps others understand you. And with understanding come the gifts of appreciation, sympathy, empathy, and love.

 

      So here's the embarrassing secret I used to be afraid to reveal.

      For over 20 years, I suffered from agoraphobia, the fear of crossing open spaces. Sometimes I couldn't leave my house for more than five minutes, without scurrying back inside.

      My enemy was not the great outdoors. It was simply fear.

      Everyone experiences fear on occasion. And everyone's fear is a little bit different, personal to the individual. Mine was fear of being alone out in the world. I didn't feel safe by myself. Although I was perfectly content to live on my own, I needed the comfort and companionship of someone I knew well whenever I ventured out of the safety of my home. No way could I dream of getting up to speak in front of a room full of strangers!

      I'm so proud to say that I overcame my fear. It took, first of all, the courage to admit there was something wrong. Then came the desire to fix it and to seek out the help I needed to overcome it.

      And wow! Look at me now!

      Today I speak in front of groups of all sizes, shapes and interests. If I can do it, so can you! Let me help you. Contact me at   [email protected].   

Speak Your Mind with Marion Claire

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