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How Much Should You Ask of Yourself?     

"Don't be afraid of asking for too much. Chances are you've been asking for too little."

      I don't know who first said that, but whenever I find myself facing a challenge I'm not quite ready to tackle, it seems to immediately pop up in my face, demanding to be acknowledged.

      When asked to do something we've never done before, aren't sure we're really equipped to do or just flat out don't want to for any number of reasons, it's so easy to say, "No, I don't think I can do that, it's too much for me, I'm not ready/willing/able to take that on. Not now. Maybe not ever."

      It's always much more comfortable to say 'no'. It takes us off the hook, relieves us of the demands of trying, possibly failing, and risking our self-respect and self-esteem. If we don't ask too much of ourselves, we'll never risk finding out what our limitations really are. Of course, we'll never find out how good we can be, either.

      When faced with the opportunity to give a speech, how often do we automatically say, "No, I don't think so. I'm not ready." When someone says to us, "You really have something to say, why don't you get out there and say it?", how often do we cringe in fear and reluctance, "Oh, no, I couldn't do that." Have you ever sat in a Q&A after someone else's speech, wanted to raise your hand to ask a question or challenge the speaker, but you held back because you didn't want to risk... what? Being told you were wrong? Having to defend your position? Feeling foolish? Making an idiot of yourself?

      My mother used to repeat this quote to me: "It's better to be thought a fool than to open your mouth and remove all doubt." For years and years I wouldn't express an opinion in public for fear I'd be thought foolish and uninformed.

      Mom was wrong!

      When we let our fears of looking or feeling foolish prevent us from showing the world how capable we are, how competent and knowledgeable, how well we can communicate our thoughts on our subject, we do ourselves the greatest disservice imaginable.

      When the opportunity to speak arises, if we say 'no', we shortchange ourselves. When we ask too little of ourselves, we ruin our chances of finding out how much we're really capable of, how truly good we are. Asking for what feels like 'too much' is really just taking a little bigger risk, stepping out of our comfort zone, going for the gold, giving it our best shot.

      The beauty of asking for too much? We usually receive more than we thought possible.

      When we give ourselves the chance, we usually do rise to the occasion.

      When we stop saying "no', it becomes so easy and joyous to say 'yes'!

      Give yourself a gift that will last a lifetime. Next time the opportunity arises to speak to a group and share what you know, say, "Yes! I can do that!" Ask for more of yourself. You'll be amazed to find that you have the courage, the confidence and the competence to do what it takes. Even better, don't wait to be asked. Look for opportunities to share your wisdom. Volunteer to speak. Do it today. Don't put it off.

      If not now, when?