Speaking is Sexy
Volume II, No. 22                                                                         September 2011

"A successful man is one who can lay a firm foundation with the bricks others have thrown at him."
                                ~ David Brinkley                        
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Included In This Issue
What's Marion Up To Now?
Have you downloaded your FREE report yet?
Speaking Is Sexy Tip #22, Vol. 2, Where Does The Fear Come From?
Is it time for you to be the Sexy Public Speaker you've always wanted to be?
How Can I Help You? Let Me Know!
Food for Thought
More about Marion Claire ~ I have a guilty secret...
Why is it called Speaking is Sexy? 
When what someone says and how they say it sends chills up and down your spine, that's sexy! 
 
Whether you're giving a speech, having a conversation, saying your wedding vows, teaching your kids, exhorting your sales team, or talking in your sleep, if someone is listening, you are inspiring them.  It's important to remember that whenever you speak, someone is influenced by each word you say. 
 
Be a positive influence.  Be an inspiration.  That's very sexy.
 

Did you miss a previous Speaking Tip?

You can find them here!
 
If you are...
  • Currently speaking in public,
  • Thinking of speaking in public, but procrastinating like crazy,
  • Afraid to speak in public,
  • Envious of people who speak confidently in public, or
  • Would just like a few tips on how you can speak better than they do...
This newsletter will give you tips and techniques to become the accomplished speaker you've always longed to be.

MARION CLAIRE coaches solopreneurs, business owners, middle managers and executives who want to become calm, confident, sexy speakers who influence and inspire others with the power of their voice. www.marionclaire.com

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What's Marion Up To Now?     

 

       Working on my book: "PUBLIC SPEAKING IS SEXY, 131 Vital, Quick & Helpful Tips on Facing the Audience, Overcoming Fear, Writing Your Speech and Becoming a Unique & Sexy Speaker".   

HAVE YOU DOWNLOADED YOUR FREE REPORT YET?     

 

Go to www.marionclaire.com and on the Home page, you will find a link to download this valuable speaking tool:

 

5 MAGIC KEYS TO CREATING ANY SPEECH!

 

Knowing the answers to these Five Questions will enable you to create a fabulous speech for almost any occasion.  Download your Free Report now and make creating your next speech so much easier! 

   Speaking Is Sexy Tip #22, Vol. 2 

 

Where Does The Fear Come From ?  

           

           "It's the darnedest thing!" my client, Dave, said in one of our early sessions. "I used to be able to get up and give a talk, no sweat. I didn't get nervous... or if I did, it usually went away the minute I started speaking. But now I freeze up, my hands shake and even though I always manage to get through it, the minute I start to think about the next one, I get sick to my stomach. It's getting so I dread giving a talk, and my job depends on it. What's wrong with me?"

           It's not all that unusual for someone with a track record of successful speeches to suddenly become self-conscious and nervous when facing a crowd. Even a small crowd. Dave's anxiety showed up most forcefully at presentations to potential clients in a conference room, whether it was a handful of executives or a roomful. Even with power point slides and videos to help, his mouth still went dry, sweat trickled down his back, and he felt like a fox caught in a trap.

           "It's really weird," he insisted, "because I've been organizing fund-raising events and speaking at rallies since I was a kid. Now here I am, running my own consulting firm, and I feel like I'm going to faint every time I give a speech. What gives?"

           Sometimes late onset performance anxiety comes from long buried memories from the past that have suddenly been triggered by something in the present. As we talked, Dave remembered incidents he hadn't thought of for years.

           As a teenager, Dave was passionately describing the importance of the organization he was raising money for when an adult in the audience yelled out that he was too young to know what he was talking about and to just sit down and shut up! Even though others encouraged him to continue and he did finish his pitch, he felt vulnerable and attacked. A few years later, he was rehearsing a client presentation in front of his family when a favorite uncle laughed and told him he was wasting his time, he'd never convince anybody of anything. The uncle happened to be drunk at the time, but that didn't change the devastating effect of his criticism.

           Dave ignored it and plowed on ahead, achieving outstanding results until a year ago when he'd left the company he'd worked with for ten years to start his own firm. He was a very successful, persuasive speaker. His presentations brought in new clients more often then not. Now, suddenly, he was feeling less and less confident with every speech.

           "What's different now when you make a presentation," I asked Dave, "from when you made them at your previous job?"

           "Nothing," Dave said. Then he thought about it for a moment. "Except that now I feel like that fourteen-year-old again.'

    "Why is that?"

     Watching the faces of his audience, Dave explained, especially in a conference room where he could see them clearly, if they looked grim or uninterested or critical, he'd immediately begin to sweat. Even in a larger venue, if he spotted someone in the audience who looked disapproving, he'd immediately feel shaky. He'd never felt that way when he worked for his previous company.

           "So what's different now?"

           Without hesitation, Dave blurted out, "I'm working for myself now. It's just me."

           "So?" I asked.

           "There's so much more at stake," Dave looked at me like it was obvious. "I'm not a kid any more and I don't have a big company backing me up. If I don't bring in new clients..." he left the implication unspoken.

            "How do you know what those disapproving listeners are thinking?" I asked.

           Dave looked at me blankly. "I don't."

           'You don't ask them later?"

           "No, of course not."

           'Then how do you know they disapprove?"

           "I... just assume..." Dave smiled and took a deep breath. "Yeah, right, never assume. It just makes an ass of 'u' and me."

           The truth is that when people look disapproving or irritated or bored, it may have absolutely nothing to do with the speaker. That may just be their 'listening face', just as some people cross their arms and frown as they grimly stare down the speaker. They're not disapproving of you; that's just the way they listen best. It helps them focus.

           Fear comes from many places and takes many forms. Start by looking into your past for clues. Get someone you trust to help you. Remember that the audience came to hear you because you have something to say that they want to know. You never need to be afraid to give them what they came for.  


DO YOU HAVE FRIENDS OR COLLEAGUES who would benefit from seeing this Speaking Is Sexy eZine?  Please forward it to them or send me their email address and I'll send them a copy and tell them it's from you!  www.marionclaire.com 
Want to use this Speaking Is Sexy Tip in your Newsletter or Blog?  
You can, as long as you include this entire blurb:  For thirteen years, Marion Claire has coached entrepreneurs, executives, and professionals of all kinds to become the confident, sexy speakers they longed to be.  She'll also help you write your speeches for almost any occasion.  For more information about Marion and her programs, check out her website at www.marionclaire.com 

Is it time for you to be the
Sexy Public Speaker you've always wanted to be?



It's easier than you think to overcome your nervousness and increase your confidence.  You don't need to be reluctant to get up to speak ever again.  Amaze yourself at how quickly you can get rid of whatever is holding you back!  Give yourself a break!  Let me help you become the speaker you'd really like to be!

Take advantage of my "SPEAK TO WIN" PRIVATE COACHING PROGRAM, a series of three sessions for the price of two.  Quickly eliminate fears that have been holding you back and acquire tips and techniques to enable you to be calm, confident and sexy every time you speak! 

Do you have a Desire to InspireGive yourself a gift that will last a lifetime.  Let me show you how to check your fears at the door and look and feel like a superhero whenever you get up to speak! 

Talk to me confidentially about your special speaking needs and get more information about the SPEAK TO WIN Program at the same time.
  I'm always available for a *free* half-hour consultation at 310/659-8956 or email me at [email protected]

How Can I Help You?  Let Me Know! 

 

Would you like to comment on what you've seen here?  Your feedback means a great deal to me.  Contact me at

[email protected]

Did you miss previous Speaking Tips?  You can find them at

www.marionclaire.com/newsletter

Food For Thought


Opportunities multiply as they are seized.                                                                                    ~Sun Tzu 

More about Marion Claire


I have a guilty secret.  I'm a procrastinator.

           If I don't have a deadline, I probably won't move.  If I have three weeks to write a speech, for instance, I'll get to it three or four days before it's due.  When I was a kid in school, even though I always loved to read, I'd never do the book report until the night before I had to hand it in.  I don't know why I procrastinate.  It just seems to come naturally.

I know I'm not alone.  There are millions of us out there, all leaving things til the last minute and becoming harassed, frazzled and short-tempered as we frantically scramble to meet our deadline.  You'd think we'd learn, after years and years of this, that there's a better way.  There must be!

When it comes to writing a speech or creating this newsletter, I'm no different.  I used to beat myself up about it, but lately I've decided to look at it another way.  If you can't beat 'em, join 'em.

 

Being a procrastinator can be a good thing.  Let me count the ways.

1.  Let's say you have to write a speech.  As a procrastinator, you  never over-think it.  By ignoring it until the deadline, you'll only spend a few days agonizing over coming up with everything you need to sound brilliant. 

2.  Your focus is much more intense because you have such a short time to be creative.  Thus you're using 100% of your energy and talent. It's a lot like a snake swallowing a basketball; it takes a lot of intense work, but where there's a will there's a way.

3.  Even though you've been ignoring your deadline, your subconscious has been hard at work storing things up, ready to spew them out at the exact moment you need them.  It's not foolproof; sometimes, just to teach you a lesson, your subconscious leaves out something important.  Fortunately your conscious will come to the rescue and either figure it out, find it or fake it.

The good news is that even though you're not aware of it, your mind really is hard at work creating that speech underground, so to speak.  When you need them, the words will be there.  It's a gift that you always find within yourself just in time to share it with others who need to hear it.  No one cares how long it took you to create this gift.  They'll be happy and grateful that they were there to receive it.  You will be, too.

       

Whatever your speaking problem, let me help you overcome it.  Contact me at [email protected]

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