Speaking Is Sexy Tip #16, Vol. 2- Practice! Practice! Practice!

Speaking Is Sexy Tip #16, Vol. 2

Practice! Practice! Practice!

Many of us get nervous just thinking about getting up in front of a crowd of people to make a speech. Inevitably, whenever people describe to me the anxious feelings that come over them at the mere thought of public speaking, I hear, "Well, everybody knows that most people would rather die than give a speech!" Like it's one of the Ten Commandments, written in stone. Apparently many years ago The New York Times, or some other entity, no one really remembers, published a survey which 'proved' that most people believe giving a speech is a fate worse than death.

What kind of nonsense is this? What in the world is so terrifying about standing up and talking to people that a considerable number of us would rather die than make the attempt? Speaking in public is not the scariest thing a person can do! Bungee jumping, rock face mountain climbing and parachuting out of an airplane seem a lot scarier to me!

When it comes to public speaking, what are folks so afraid of?

"I'll make a mistake." "They'll laugh at me." "They won't get my jokes." "I'll forget what I'm supposed to say." "All those eyes staring at me... I'll feel like I'm on trial." "I'll feel trapped and I can't get away." "They'll know I'm stupid." "They'll know I'm unprepared." "They'll know I'm not good enough." "They'll know I'm a fraud."

Any of these sound familiar? Can you add your own favorite fear?

There are folks who don't seem to have any problem at all. They stand in front of the room and crack jokes, tell stories, look us straight in the eye, shower us with their magnetism, and as we watch them in amazement, we ask ourselves, 'Why can't I do that?"

You can. Being a good public speaker is a learned skill like any other.

Were you born knowing how to drive a car? You probably took a driving class in school or got private lessons, studied the DMV manual and passed the tests. Whatever your profession, you went to school, got a degree or a certificate of proficiency, or maybe on-the-job training, and then really learned how to do it by practicing it every day. From the time you first realized that the opposite sex was different from you, you've been learning how to attract the people you desire and be attractive enough that they'll desire you. You weren't born knowing how to do that. You've been practicing it your whole life!

How do we become proficient at anything? We study it, learn it, then practice it. There's a magic word! Practice!

The more you practice anything, the more comfortable and competent you are, the more natural it becomes. Look back on your life. Is there anything you thought you'd never in a million years be able to do, and then you studied it, you practiced it, and wow! Look how good you are at it now!

Maybe you thought you'd never fly an airplane, but one day you signed up for flying lessons, "Just to see if I'd like it," and found out it wasn't as scary as you'd thought. The next thing you knew you got your license and started taking your friends up for rides. Better than that, you joined a flying club, met some terrific new people, one of whom offered you a great job, and now you're flying yourself all over the country at company expense! (Okay, okay, let's not get carried away here.)

Public speaking is like that. The more you develop your speaking skills, the more you practice, the better you get. Take lessons, find a coach, study the techniques that expert speakers use to make it look easy. The more you know, the easier it'll be to control your fears, but even better, you'll find they lessen considerably or disappear entirely!

As Nike says, "Just do it!" Say 'yes' when you're asked to speak in public. Volunteer to give the key speech at your next company conference. Create a beautifully moving speech for your son's bar mitzvah or your daughter's wedding. Practice, practice, practice! You'll be amazed at what a sexy speaker you'll become.