Speaking Is Sexy Tip #3, Vol. 2- Who's In Charge Here?

Speaking Is Sexy Tip #3, Vol. 2

Who's In Charge Here?

      What is a speaker's worst nightmare? Ask ten people and you'll get ten different answers.
      All of us who feel fear when we're asked to get up to speak harbor some kind of worst case scenario, the thing we dread happening that will let the audience know just how incompetent, unprepared, uncomfortable, unworthy, un-(you fill in the blank) we are. We're sure we're going to forget something important, feel faint, blush, shake, sweat through our clothes, freeze in panic, and maybe rush off the stage in utter humiliation. Of course, none of this usually happens. These 'night-before-the-speech' terrors (which may occur a week or a month before just as well) usually disappear, or at least diminish to manageable capacity, when we actually begin to speak.
      But, what if someone doesn't agree with our point of view and says so loud and clear, whether during the Q & A or at any time he feels like it without being called upon?
      What do we do when a listener turns hostile? How do we handle a heckler?

Evaluate the situation. What is the level of hostility?
      Most audiences are polite, courteous and listen respectfully, even when faced with opinions they may not agree with. Keep in mind that they came to hear you, not the loudmouth who's insulting you and everyone else in the audience by attempting to hog the spotlight. In the very few moments you have to evaluate the situation, ask yourself these questions:
      Is this a lone voice challenging your position or are other voices supporting him?
      Is his objection stated calmly, angrily, or something in between?
      How are other audience members reacting to him? Are they very quiet? Murmuring to each other? Telling him to sit down and shut up?
      Is he talking to hear himself talk or does he have a valid point?
      Is this person sober and in control of himself or under the influence of a mind-altering drug? Has he obviously had too much to drink?
      Is there a system in place, created by the group who invited you to speak, to deal with people who are disruptive?

Remember that you are in charge
      There are several ways to respond to anyone who is obstructing the smooth continuation of your talk. Always listen carefully to the objection and make sure you understand it. Your most effective response will be the one you feel most comfortable with and have prepared ahead if possible. Your job is to demonstrate that this is your turf, your venue, and you are in charge!
      Your choice of response depends upon your instantaneous evaluation of the nature of the objection. If you've prepared ahead, you can judge whether to ignore it or give either a humorous or serious response, whichever you feel is appropriate at the moment. If the objection has nothing to do with the subject you're discussing, you can suggest that you'll address it at another time. If the objection is legitimate and on topic, you can give a short response and then continue on with your presentation. If the objector refuses to be satisfied and continues to be disruptive, it is reasonable to seek assistance from the leaders of the group who invited you to speak.
      Bottom line, it's you, not the heckler, that the audience came to hear. You're the star, the one with the message, the gift they came to receive. In the front of the room, you have the position of power and control. You are in charge!