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Why is it called Speaking is Sexy?
When what someone says and how they say it sends chills up and down your spine, that's sexy!
Whether you're giving a speech, having a conversation, saying your wedding vows, teaching your kids, exhorting your sales team, or talking in your sleep, if someone is listening, you are inspiring them. It's important to remember that whenever you speak, someone is influenced by each word you say.
Be a positive influence. Be an inspiration. That's very sexy.
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Did you miss a previous Speaking Tip?
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If you are...
- Currently speaking in public,
- Thinking of speaking in public, but procrastinating like crazy,
- Afraid to speak in public,
- Envious of people who speak confidently in public, or
- Would just like a few tips on how you can speak better than they do...
This newsletter will give you tips and techniques to become the accomplished speaker you've always longed to be.
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MARION CLAIRE coaches solopreneurs, business owners, managers and professionals who want to achieve their highest potential as calm, confident, sexy speakers who inspire with the power of their voice.
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Speaking Is Sexy Tip #17
A Tale of Stage Fright
When I
was a UCLA undergrad, I once went to a lunchtime lecture in the Student
Union. I don't now remember the
topic or why I went, but the speaker lives in my memory. I've never felt so sorry for anyone on
a platform before or since.
I
was a Theater Arts major, hoping to be an actress some day, and learning how to
deal with normal performance problems, among which was stage fright. The speaker at that lecture was a woman
professor of a certain age who badly needed some of the lessons I was learning.
The
students sat at long tables in the Student Union. She was sitting on a stage above us. These were very lo-tech days: no power
point, no audio/visual aids of any kind. She may have known her stuff, but she seemed woefully unprepared. Even as a student, long before I became
a speaker's coach, I could tell there was something sadly wrong with her
presentation.
 She held our attention for the first ten minutes, but
then slowly a murmur in the audience, compounded by the clatter of lunchtime
plates and forks, began to sweep across the room. There were over a hundred students there to reap her words
of wisdom, but alas, we could hardly hear them! She spoke in a monotone, without a microphone, and it
quickly became too much of a chore to strain to listen. Very shortly the audience was in direct
competition with her for attention.
From
the distance of years and hindsight, I believe she might have been a last
minute fill-in for someone else, had perhaps agreed to speak because it would
improve her career or had decided to white-knuckle it because it was 'good for
her'. This poor teacher! From where I sat, she was doing
everything wrong!
She really didn't seem to have prepared or rehearsed her
talk at all. She looked at us
rather like a deer in the headlights and seemed to continually lose her train
of thought. Maybe she was so
nervous she could barely speak. After a few minutes, she stopped looking at us at all, kept her head down and read from her
notes without any excitement or enthusiasm. Since she almost seemed to be whispering, it was hard to
tell if what she said was even coherent.
 I kept waiting for her to stand up, ask for quiet, drop
her book with a loud bang, anything to get us to stop our private conversations
and look at her. But no, the
scared little rabbit on the stage just kept desperately clutching her notes and
reading in an almost inaudible voice. From time to time she looked up to take a breath and glare at us for our
rudeness. I wondered how large her
classes were and how she managed to teach them if sitting in the Student Union
in front of a bunch of kids was so terrifying. We were just as captive an audience as the students in her
classroom. What kind of a teacher
was she anyway, and why was she up there attempting to educate us and failing
terribly?
Her misery was so obvious to me that although I remember
nothing else about that lunchtime, I carry a vivid picture in my mind of a
frightened little woman reading her notes, afraid to look at her audience. We had come to learn. Her fear had destroyed her ability to
teach.
I didn't understand her pain, but I wanted to help her
even though at the time I didn't know how. I wish I could go back in time and say to her, "You can do
this. I'll show you." I often wonder how much this particular
memory influenced my work today.
I still see her, bending over her book, barely able to
speak. I owe her a debt of
gratitude. Wish I could say
thanks.
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DO YOU HAVE ANY FRIENDS who would benefit from seeing this Speaking Is Sexy eZine? Please forward it to them or send me their email address and I'll send them a copy and tell them it's from you! www.marionclaire.com
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Want to use this Speaking Is Sexy Tip in your Newsletter or Blog?
You can, as long as you include this entire blurb:
For over ten years, Marion Claire has coached entrepreneurs, executives, professionals and just plain folks to become the confident speakers they longed to be. She's the author of the forthcoming book, "Speaking Is Sexy: How to Inspire with the Power of Your Voice", due in 2010. She will also help you write your speeches for almost any occasion. For more information about Marion and her programs, check out her website at http://www.marionclaire.com
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WHAT READERS ARE SAYING ABOUT PREVIOUS SPEAKING IS SEXY TIPS
Speaking Is Sexy Tip #16:
Do You Hate to Write a Speech?
I like that, takes the pressure off. It's not a writing challenge, gut a chance to tell your story. "Let's see, what do I need at the store?" The draft is the shopping list, the meal... the speech. You always seem to have a new insight.
D. Robertson, Ashland, OR
(One) problem with writing a speech is... fear of the white page. When I was 12, I took painting lessons for about two years. One of the first issues I had to deal with was me standing in front of the easel and not being able to draw a line. The teacher told me to start drawing something, no matter what and I will loosen up. It worked. It still works. Interestingly, the problem didn't die out with the advent of the PC. (When) giving a speech... my preferred approach is the "grocery list."
M. Jacob, Beersheba, Israel
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Would you like to be a Sexy Speaker?
You can be a cool, confident and yes, Sexy Speaker every time you face an audience. All you need is the Desire to Inspire and some easy-to-learn techniques of the trade that the speakers you admire all use. Let me show you "How to Speak to Any Audience with Charm and Chutzpah!" In two hours, you can learn how to achieve one of the following:
Get the basics: How to make your audience your new best friend!
Mesmerize/Hypnotize: Discover techniques to make your listeners want to hang onto every word from start to finish!
Be Amazing: Check your fears at the door and feel like a superhero whenever you get up to speak!
Go for One or choose All Three. Mix and Match to suit your desires. Get special savings when you select them all. Amaze yourself and astound your friends. Give yourself a gift that will last a lifetime. Let me help you become the speaker you've always wanted be. Call for your *free* half-hour consultation at 310/659-8956 or email Marion@marionclaire.com |
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What do people say about Marion Claire? "As CEO, my speaking
engagements range from client briefings and stakeholder meetings to
an address at the annual holiday party. No matter the topic or occasion,
Marion has shown an uncanny ability to offer tips and advice that
help me better connect with my audiences. She helped me discover the keys
to engaging listeners at the start of my speeches by leveraging my
own stories and style. Even though
many of my speeches involve highly technical subject matter, she has the ability
to quickly understand the "big picture" and provide advice that
is on-point and impactful. Never have I had the opportunity to work with a more
effective personal coach - -she genuinely cares about your
success."
~Kevin O'Connell, CPA, CEO, Macias Gini & O'Connell LLP
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 Let a Sexy Speaker Brighten your Next Meeting or Event!
Choose from these topics:- You Can Be a Sexy Speaker! How to Use the Power of Your Voice to Make You Irresistible to One Person or a Whole Audience
- You Can Give a Great Speech, Even If You Think You Can't! Simple Ways to Leave Your Fear at the Door and Love Being the Center of Attention
- When You Speak, Everybody Listens! Persuade Your Audience to Follow You Anywhere When You Follow These Easy-to-Learn Techniques.
...Or ask me to create a talk for you that focuses on your special needs. Please contact me if you have a last minute cancellation by your previously scheduled speaker! Marion@marionclaire.com
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More about Marion Claire
For over 20 years, I suffered from agoraphobia, the fear of crossing open spaces. I don't know where it came from. In college, I wanted to be an actress, but found out pretty quickly I wasn't very good. I was playing the lead in Eugene O'Neill's 'A Touch of the Poet' at the time, and distinctly remember fighting panic attacks throughout the entire Four Act play! It was like I split myself into two people: one was reciting my lines, the other was telling myself to calm down, focus, and don't faint! That's a heckuva lousy way to spend three hours on a stage, let me tell you! It was by a sheer act of will that I didn't pass out in the middle of Act Three! The moment the curtain came down on the last performance, I gave up acting.
Eventually, I realized that I wasn't afraid of being on stage, I just wanted to be there as myself, not as a fictional character. That changed everything. It took awhile to make that discovery, but I'm happy to report that today, I speak in front of groups of all sizes, shapes and interests. If I can go from a stage-terrified puppy to a calm, self-aware lioness, so can you! Whatever your speaking problem, let me help you overcome it. Contact me at Marion@marionclaire.com.
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What's Bugging You?
Got a specific question about speaking you'd like answered? Or would you like to comment on what you've seen here? Your feedback means a great deal to me. Contact me at Marion@marionclaire.com
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