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Why is it called Speaking is Sexy?
When what someone says and how they say it sends chills up and down your spine, that's sexy!
Whether you're giving a speech, having a conversation, saying your wedding vows, teaching your kids, exhorting your sales team, or talking in your sleep, if someone is listening, you are inspiring them. It's important to remember that whenever you speak, someone is influenced by each word you say.
Be a positive influence. Be an inspiration. That's very sexy.
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Did you miss a previous Speaking Tip?
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If you are...
- Currently speaking in public,
- Thinking of speaking in public, but procrastinating like crazy,
- Afraid to speak in public,
- Envious of people who speak confidently in public, or
- Would just like a few tips on how you can speak better than they do...
This Newsletter will give you tips and techniques to become the cool, confident speaker you've always longed to be. |
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SPEAKER'S TIP #9
Who's Listening
After a brief inspirational talk on being a confident public speaker, a man in the audience, call him Michael, came up to me. He'd just been promoted to V.P. of an international company, his responsibilities included leading team meetings, and he was terrified. He had all the classic symptoms: dry mouth, clammy hands, excessive perspiration, runaway heartbeat, hot flashes, nausea and feeling faint. Since I'd overcome these symptoms, he asked me to help him.
It turned out Michael wasn't really afraid of speaking at all. His fear lay rather in who was listening. He thought he might be seen as incompetent or not good enough by his colleagues or peers.
When asked for specifics, he said he felt perfectly fine leading a team meeting until the president of the company walked in. Faced with his boss, Michael immediately became flustered, fevered and forgetful, tripping over his tongue and confusing, rather than inspiring, his team. He'd white-knuckle it while the president remained and felt incredible relief when he left the room. But by that time, Michael's shirt was soaked through, his face flushed, his mouth dry, and his sales team was wondering what was wrong with him. Michael was devastated. His leadership and authority, he felt, had just walked out with his boss.
"Does the president have to be in your team meetings?" I asked him.
"No," he replied. "He just likes to make his presence known so it looks like he's in charge."
"Is he in charge?" I questioned. "If it's your meeting, aren't you in charge?"
"Yes," Michael agreed, "and I have no problem with that unless he walks in. Then I feel we're in competition and he's always going to win because he's the boss."
"What would you like to happen?," I asked.
"I'd like him to stay out of my meetings!"
I thought that over for a moment.
"So why don't you kick him out?" I asked. "Nicely, of course."
Michael stared at me for a full minute, then took a deep breath. "I never thought of that."
We discussed several ways to ask the president, with respect, to limit his visits or stay away altogether. A few weeks later, Michael reported that he was fully in command, his meetings were running smoothly, and his boss was cooperating a hundred percent.
If who is in the audience is distracting you from doing your best and making your message land, you need to figure out why. When you are speaking, you're the expert. You're in charge. No one in the room has more authority than you at that particular moment. If you're prepared and professional in your presentation, no one will perceive you as weak or incompetent. On the contrary, they'll admire your leadership and be inspired by your example. |
DO YOU HAVE ANY FRIENDS who would benefit from seeing this Speaking Is Sexy eZine? Please forward it to them or send me their email address and I'll send them a copy and tell them it's from you! |
Want to use this Speaking Tip in your Newsletter or Blog? You can as long as you include this entire blurb:
For over ten years, Marion Claire has coached entrepreneurs, executives, professionals and just plain folks to become the confident speakers they longed to be. She's the author of the forthcoming book, "Speaking Is Sexy: How to Inspire with the Power of Your Voice", due in 2010. She'll also help you write your speech for almost any occasion. For more information about Marion and her programs, check out her website at www.marionclaire.com.
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 Looking for a dynamic Speaker at your Next Meeting or Event?Let me demonstrate how to attract and hold the attention of your audience. Choose from these...
- Yes, You Can Be a Sexy Speaker! Let the Power of Your Voice Make You Irresistible
- Speak Like a Pro and Have Fun Doing It: How to Enjoy Having All Eyes on You
- When You Speak, Everybody Listens: How to Persuade Your Audience to Do Almost Anything
...or ask me for a talk that addresses your special needs. Feel free to contact me if you have a last minute cancellation by your previously scheduled speaker at Marion@marionclaire.com. |
More about Marion Claire
For over 20 years, I suffered from agoraphobia, the fear of crossing open spaces. Sometimes I couldn't leave my house for more than five minutes, without scurrying back inside. My enemy was not the great outdoors. It was simply fear. Everyone experiences fear on occasion. And everyone's fear is a little bit different, personal to the individual. Mine was fear of being alone out in the world. I didn't feel safe by myself. Although I was perfectly content to live on my own in my apartment, I needed the comfort and companionship of someone I knew well whenever I ventured out of the safety of my home. No way could I dream of getting up to speak in front of a room full of strangers! And yet, today I speak in front of groups of all sizes, shapes and interests. If I can do it, so can you! Let me help you. Contact me at Marion@marionclaire.com.
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Do you want to speak comfortably in front of any group?
 You can! It's a lot easier than you think to become a confident speaker. You need a user-friendly, non-threatening, easy to work with speaker's coach... in a word, me! Try my "Kick Start Your Speaking" Package. It's the quickest way for you to go from "Uh-oh!" to "Oh, yeah!" when you're asked to get up and speak. In only six hours you can:
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Learn how to eliminate any old or lingering fears
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Polish the skills you already have and add sure-fire new ones
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Acquire some simple techniques that'll make you shine on the platform.
Give yourself a gift that will last a lifetime. Let me help you become the speaker you've always wanted to be. For more information, contact me at Marion@marionclaire.com. | |
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What do people say about Marion Claire?
"Marion's coaching sessions were inspiring. I learned more in two hours than a whole weekend seminar. She really impressed me with her professionalism, her delightful attitude and great passion for coaching. Marion's encouragement and support have given me the confidence to stand in front of a large audience and actually enjoy giving presentations."
~ R. Sawdayi, Shopzilla, Inc. |
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What's Bugging You?
Got a specific question about speaking you'd like answered? Or would you like to comment on what you've seen here? Your feedback means a great deal to me. Contact me at www.marionclaire.com. |
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