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If you are...
- Currently speaking in public,
- Thinking of speaking in public,
- Know you need to speak in public but you're procrastinating like crazy,
- Afraid to speak in public,
- Envious of people who speak confidently in public, or
- Would just like a few tips on how you can speak better than they do...
This Newsletter will give you, as painlessly as possible, tips and techniques to become the cool, confident speaker you've always longed to be. |
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SPEAKER'S TIP #4
Know your audience!
A psychologist friend once told me about her worst speaking experience. She was invited to speak to a local musicians' union. She prepared carefully, customizing her message and spicing it with the sure-fire humorous stories that she knew from previous experience were guaranteed to get a laugh and leave her audience wanting more. When the day arrived, she stepped to the podium in front of about a hundred musicians, took a deep breath, put on her most winning smile, and fired off her opening funny story. It was greeted by... silence. No one laughed. They looked at her expectantly, but no one moved a muscle. What was happening? She'd told this story before, always to plenty of laughter. She couldn't understand it.
 She kept on going, and a few moments later fired off another winning story. No response... zero, zilch, nada. They sat there, arms folded across their chests, staring at her without cracking a smile. Oh, my gosh, what was she doing wrong? Her stories always worked before!
Throughout the rest of her speech, the results were the same. No laughter, not even a titter. They just stared at her.
By the end, she was thoroughly demoralized. The audience was polite and attentive. They didn't yawn or look around the room or talk to their neighbors, but even her big finish fell flat. The applause, to her ears, was lukewarm and perfunctory. When she came off the stage, she was miserable. Obviously, she'd failed. They hated her. All she wanted to do was slink out of there as fast as she could.
The next day she received a phonecall from the union's program director who had invited her to speak. My friend could only offer her apologies for being such a disappointment. "Oh, no," the program director reassured her, "they loved you. They thought you were terrific." Huh?
"But," said the psychologist, "they just sat there. They never moved, they didn't smile, and they certainly didn't laugh in any of the right places." "Oh, no," chuckled the program director, "they never do. That's just the way they are. They don't react. They don't show their emotions. Whether they love you or hate you, you'd never know. If you ask them, though, they'll tell you they thought you were wonderful and they'd like to hear you speak again."
When you're preparing a speech, you need to know more than your subject. You need to know your audience, too. Learn what they expect from you and what you can expect from them so you won't be thrown by an unusual reaction. Some people listen better with their arms crossed. Some close their eyes. Some laugh uproariously and some hardly crack a smile. Just because they aren't responding the way you'd like them to doesn't mean they don't like you. Often they're so busy concentrating on what you're saying, they forget to laugh at your jokes.
Give yourself a break. Remember the six "P"s: Proper preparation prevents (im)possibly-poor performance. Know your audience as well as your speech and you'll never feel like a failure because they didn't laugh at your jokes.
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Want to use this Speaking Tip in your Newsletter or Blog?
You can as long as you include this entire blurb: For over ten years, Marion Claire has coached entrepreneurs, executives, artists, professionals and just plain folks to become the confident speakers they longed to be. She's the author of the forthcoming book, "Speaking Is Sexy: How to Inspire with the Power of Your Voice", due in early 2010. She'll also help you write your speech for almost any occasion. For more information about Marion and her programs, check out her website at www.marionclaire.com. |
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Why is it called "Speaking Is Sexy"? When what someone says and how they say it sends chills up and down our spine, that's sexy! John F. Kennedy's "Ask not what your country can do for you; ask what you can do for your country!" inspired generations of Peace Corps volunteers. When Martin Luther King, Jr. said, "I have a dream!" in his vibrant, compelling voice, people followed him everywhere. And when blonde bombshell Mae West said, "Peel me a grape!", she inspired followers, too, although maybe not for quite the same reason.
Whether you're giving a speech, having a conversation, saying your wedding vows, teaching your kids, exhorting your sales team, or talking in your sleep, if someone is listening, you are inspiring them. The results you get depend on what you say and how you say it at that moment. It's important to remember that whenever you speak, someone is influenced by each word you say. Be a positive influence. Be an inspiration. That's very sexy.
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 Looking for a dynamic, entertaining Speaker for your next Meeting or Event?Let me show your group the nuts and bolts of being a sexy speaker. Choose from such topics as "How to Speak Like a Pro" or "How to Inspire with the Power of Your Voice" or I'll create a talk that specifically addresses your needs. Feel free to contact me if you have a last minute cancellation by your previously scheduled speaker. Email me at Marion@marionclaire.com or visit www.marionclaire.com. |
More about Marion Claire
For over 20 years, I suffered from agoraphobia, the fear of crossing open spaces. Sometimes I couldn't leave my house for more than five minutes, without scurrying back inside. My enemy was not the great outdoors. It was simply fear. Everyone experiences fear on occasion. And everyone's fear is a little bit different, personal to the individual. Mine was fear of being alone out in the world. I didn't feel safe by myself. Although I was perfectly content to live on my own in my apartment, I needed the comfort and companionship of someone I knew well whenever I ventured out of the safety of my home. No way could I dream of getting up to speak in front of a room full of strangers! And yet, today I speak in front of groups of all sizes, shapes and interests. If I can do it, so can you! Let me help you. Contact me at Marion@marionclaire.com.
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 How would your life be different if you finally got over your fear of public speaking?It's a lot easier than you think to become the confident, exciting speaker you want to be. In just a few short sessions, you can learn how to neutralize your fears, tweak the skills you already have and learn simple techniques that'll make you shine on the platform. Whatever the occasion, let me help you become a dynamic, delightful speaker. Contact me at Marion@marionclaire.com. |
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