Discipleship-the process that Christ modeled in his life and work where God's Word is invested and applied through a loving, mentoring relationship with another believer. (It is also the process that God commissioned each of his followers to follow: to "make disciples.")
When someone asks me to define what I mean by discipleship, I immediately want to say, "let's begin with the book by Walt Henrichsen, (Disciples are Made-Not Born)." In many ways, that book and a loving, mentoring relationship with another follower of Christ during my college experience, set the trajectory of my journey of discipleship.  In the final chapter of that book, Henrichsen reminds us that there are two things that are eternal-God's Word and People-and whatever we do as a vocation, we need to make sure that we continue to invest in the eternal.
With that as a basic framework, a discipling relationship is one that is built on God's Word.
Hebrews 4:12 states: "For the word of God is living and active. Sharper than any double-edged sword, it penetrates even to dividing soul and spirit, joints and marrow; it judges the thoughts and attitudes of the heart." The Word of God sets the agenda. As we work through His Word and ask the Holy Spirit to help us apply it to our own attitudes and priorities in life, we will begin to become more like Christ.
However, the goal of a discipling relationship does not stop at knowledge of God's Word. The goal is obedience to God's Word, and obedience to everything He has commanded as stated in Matthew 28:18-20 (New International Version), "Then Jesus came to them and said, 'All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to me. Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in[a] the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you. And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age.'" (emphasis mine).
Another key to this process is found in Paul's charge to one of his disciples, Timothy, as recorded in 2 Timothy 2:2 (NASB), "The things which you have heard from me in the presence of many witnesses, entrust these to faithful men who will be able to teach others also." This has been referred to as the process of multiplication. Each disciple seeks to learn and obey God's Word AND THEN invest that understanding into the lives of other disciples. The multiplication process continues as each disciple invests God's Word into the lives of others.
So then, what are the essential characteristics of this discipling/mentoring relationship? Stu Weber in his book, Tender Warrior, identifies four mileposts of male friendship. I believe that these four characteristics provide a necessary framework for each discipling relationship. The characteristics are: acceptance, affirmation, accountability and authority. Weber also believes that these characteristics occur progressively.
We begin with acceptance. In fact, that is where our own personal journeys begin. Romans 5:8 states, "But God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us." Christ accepts us where we are. He demonstrates His love toward us while we are yet sinners. He doesn't wait until we "get it all right." He loves. He accepts. He forgives.
Once acceptance has been established within a relationship, we can progress to affirmation. We seek to build into the life of the disciple. Again, we return to God's Word. God has affirmed me through Psalm 139. I often encourage others to read through this passage several times a day for at least a week. It is much easier for me to identify my weaknesses, but it takes some time to begin to believe that God "is intimately acquainted with all my ways," AND He loves me. Have you ever stood on a beach and began to count the granules of sand? God tells us that His thoughts toward us outnumber the sand!
As acceptance and affirmation are established within a discipling relationship, then comes accountability. As I think of accountability, the words of Jonny Cash come to mind, "because you're mine, I walk the line." Accountability is the process of working with the disciple to help them in the process of applying God's Word to their personal experience. It may begin with the process of being cleansed from ALL unrighteousness (see 1 John 1:9). Have we confessed our sins to God? Have we sensed His cleansing power in our own lives? Have we allowed Him to cleanse us, or do we still think there are experiences in our past that He just can't forgive? Are there  promises in God's Word that are hard to accept and believe? There is a good chance that the person you are discipling has experienced some of the same struggles that you have experienced in your own walk.
This process of accountability is often presented as a list of questions that are asked of a disciple on a regular basis. Promise Keepers has a list of questions that may serve as a starting point. (This list includes a final question about the truthfulness of our previous responses.) However, it is important to come to an agreement with the disciple about the questions that are asked. I also think it is important that we are willing to answer the same questions.
The final milepost or characteristic that Weber discusses is the issue of authority. Especially in a discipling relationship, it is easy for the discipler to become the perceived authority. However, it is essential that the discipler acknowledges that the true Authority in the relationship is Jesus Christ. He is THE AUTHORITY. His Word provides the direction. His Holy Spirit helps us with the application of His Word to our lives. Both the discipler and the disciple are pilgrims on the journey to become more like Christ. However, Jesus IS the Christ.
There also some essential common commitments necessary for discipling relationships. These include a commitment to:
1)      Pray and apply God's Word to our daily lives;
2)      To love and pray for each other;
3)      Be authentic;
4)      Be present;
5)      Be prepared;
6)      "Teach others also."
In many ways, this discipleship process mirrors the process of friendship. As we invest in friendship, our relationships grow. As we are loved, we love. As we become known, we are still loved. As we admit our struggles and doubts, we are still loved. As we are loved, we grow in our understanding of God's love. Friendship is a vital element of discipleship. Discipleship is friendship with a focus on God and His Word.
This discipling relationship is often considered as a personal, one-to-one friendship. While it often happens within a close, personal relationship, it is also possible to apply these principles in a small group setting. The small group context can be a nourishing environment for discipling relationships. First, as the group becomes cohesive, the participants can exhibit Weber's four A's in their relationships with one another. Second, the group can practice the six-fold commitment described above. Third, in this setting, individuals come to know each other better, experience God's love more completely, and may enter discipling relationships with one another.
These loving, challenging, sharpening, God honoring relationships are essential to our journey to become more like Christ. As we are going through our personal journey with Christ, let's invest in intentional relationships with others who will continue to invest into other relationships. God is glorified. LOVE WINS.