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The addictive personality trait is a relatively new and still-debated concept in psychology. Addictive personalities are characterized by low tolerance for stress or frustration, low self-esteem, mood swings , impulsive behavior, anxiety and depression. While the disorder is recognized by many psychologists, its neurological basis is not yet understood, and some remain skeptical. Addictive patterns of behavior are thought by most to be the result of environmental and psychological factors.
- Addictive personalities are easy to spot in the cases of a drug addict or an alcoholic, but not all addictions are so easily categorized. Any behavior that's carried out in a compulsive manner can become a type of addiction over time. A behavior becomes an addiction when other areas of a person's life suffer as a result. This can include work performance, social and family relationships or a person's overall health and well-being.
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Behind every addictive behavior lies a brain process that greatly contributes to the attachment a person forms with the behavior. Reward centers within the brain secrete certain "feel good" chemicals that contribute to how a person experiences a behavior. Whether it's a physical substance like alcohol, or an activity like running or watching television, the same chemical processes come into play in an addiction. This physical-behavioral connection develops over time, meaning the need for a substance or activity will increase in order to elicit the same physical effects on the brain and body.
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As a result of the brain processes involved, addictive personalities will exhibit similar behaviors regardless of their substance, or activity of choice. Changes in emotion or mood are typically the result of indulging in the behavior. In the absence of the substance or activity, a person may suffer withdrawal symptoms such as a change in mood, motivation or an inability to focus and concentrate. A person may crave, or look forward to indulging in the activity, meaning the activity has become a significant motivation in his or her life.
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Consuming drugs, alcohol, and large amounts of food, running, watching television, playing video games, and working are all activities that can be associated with addictive tendencies. And while certain activities may have worse immediate effects on the quality of a person's life, any addictive tendency can affect a person's life in adverse ways. "Hard" addictions are those associated with substances like cocaine, heroine and alcohol, whereas "soft " addictions run more along the lines of running, watching television or working. The distinguishing characteristic between an enjoyable activity and an addiction depends on the degree to which a person depends on it within his or her everyday life.
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Someone with an addictive personality will typically use the addiction as a coping mechanism to deal with stress or an internal conflict. If the stressor or conflict remains, the need to engage in the activity may increase. As a result, other areas of a person's life may suffer, or be neglected, as the addiction grows. It's not uncommon for a person to deny the effects of the addiction when confronted. The physical high, or emotional relief experienced when engaging in the activity can make any resulting problems seem insignificant in comparison.
- Conflict-centered relationships are a key issue for addictive personalities. The low self-esteem, feelings of inadequacy and guilt that many people with addictive personalities suffer from creates conflict in relationships because they constantly make value judgments and comparisons with others. Lee L. Jampolsky, author of Healing the Addictive Personality: Freeing Yourself from Addictive Patterns and Relationships, explains that addictive personalities constantly compare themselves to others, have unrealistic expectations of others and make negative judgments based on their feelings of unworthiness and insecurity. Conflict ensues because the other person can never live up to the expectations set by the addict. Since the addict may realize this on some level, they can vacillate between self-blame and blaming the other, creating a source of constant conflict.
- Addictive personalities generally suffer from trust issues stemming from childhood and issues related to fear of abandonment. In his book, Jampolsky states that these trust issues may have roots in the addict's desire to control every situation in his or her life. Their addiction may stem from a lack of love or a lack of security developed in childhood, and they may feel as though they cannot truly trust anyone but themselves. The addiction serves to mask this feeling, which usually finds its roots in feelings of fear and inadequacy. Because they can never truly control anyone's behavior but their own, the addict may have problems trusting anyone in their life, feeling that they will eventually be betrayed or abandoned.
- The addict's inherent low self-esteem and feelings of inadequacy may lead to people-pleasing behaviors. Jampolsky states that people-pleasing behaviors often prove as addictive as any drug, labeling this as "compulsively-other focused" behavior. Others may refer to this as codependency, which is an inability to separate the self from others and the compulsion to constantly make others happy, putting the needs and desires of others ahead of their own. Addicts lose their sense of self with people-pleasing behavior, in that their desire to obtain external approval compromises their sense of self-worth and self-esteem. Other people may become put off by this behavior, feeling that they are in a relationship with someone who is a shadow of a person, who has no thoughts or desires of their own.
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Hello,
Twelve step programs, such as Alcoholics Anonymous, Overeaters Anonymous, and Codependents Anonymous are wonderful resources for anyone struggling with an addiction.
If you have someone in your life with an addictive personality, educating yourself about the problem and finding support are very important. It is quite common to feel helpless, frustrated and hopeless. Be sure to take care of yourself, not just focus on the behavior of the addicted person in your life. Look for a support group, reach out to friends or a therapist and do some additional reading. If you need any resources, please feel free to call or email.
All the best,
Kristen
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