October 26, 2008

Center of Light Newsletter

Co-Created by
Jeremiah Lindsay & Jody Howard


www.CenterofLight.com


In this Issue
Relationship Deprogramming


Join Our Mailing List

Contact Information


Click to visit our


Jeremiah Lindsay
Send an Email



Jody Howard
Send an Email


Click Here

to view past

 Newsletters


from
Center of Light




Click Here

to learn about

Our Classes, Teleclasses
and
Workshops



Who Wrote What?

Many readers want to know which one of us actually wrote each article.  Having experienced merging into Oneness with each other and All, we no longer have a desire or need to individually claim ownership to an article or posting.  The truth is, we are co-creators from the moment the article comes to our attention until it is in full form.  When you are in your full power you are no longer seeking acknowledging pats on the back, you're just speaking your truth. 
 

New Earth
Ascension


This is an exciting time to be on Earth, a time many of us have been anxiously waiting for.  Despite the magnificence of this time, some people are experiencing rapid shifts in their consciousness and awareness.  This can make us feel temporarily off balance or unstable.  Others are receiving Divine guidance that is confusing or contrary to anything ever heard before.  This can make us want to listen to our mind rather than our Higher Self.  Some of our earlier teachers are passing on messages that sound more like doom and gloom rather than the thrill of this new dawning.  This can make us feel fearful or always on the edge, waiting for some 'thing' to happen.  Ascension is our pathway to ultimate fulfillment, joy and passion for life.  These times and all the changes and shifts within them are to be embraced, honored and welcomed.  The time is now.  New Earth is here.  We only have to be willing to do the personal clearing work and open to our Higher Self in order to receive it.  Our intent is to assist others in creating ease, grace, celebration and enjoyment of the process.
 
Jody and Jeremiah

Relationship

Deprogramming

 

 

We've spent the last four months writing about merging with your individual I AM Self and then about Self Healing as an individual process.  Over the next few weeks we'll address a vital aspect of your individual self healing process, relationships.  You will discover how little of current relationship knowledge will serve you in the multi-dimensional reality of New Earth.  Most current relationship knowledge is based on separation consciousness, lack and limitation.  Many of us have created relationships to complete something we experience as missing in us.  The two most common relationship thought patterns are "Someone out there has what I need to feel complete." or, "Someone out there is trying to take something from me."  In New Earth, we won't want, or need, another to feel whole and complete.  When we need no other we can balance our own divine masculine and divine feminine.  This will draw to us healthy relationships free of conditions.  We will experience a balanced energy exchange with those who have balanced themselves. 

Once we become comfortable working with our own I AM Self, we are ready to begin looking at our how we have created our primary relationships.  In future articles we will look at our relationships with a beloved and learn how to heal within a beloved relationship.  For now we ask you to look at the patterns or programming you've created out of need and as a way to survive what was occurring in your life at that time.  After you have looked within your relationship patterning and programming, and used journaling to understand deeper, you'll be ready to take what has surfaced into your self healing process.   There you will embrace each more deeply, discover the underlying lessons, and ultimately release them once and for all.

Remember, you created your own internal programming.  Despite the fact that another person is included in the relationship, you only need to focus on you.  Their relationship issues can be entirely different and they may not be ready to face their contracts and lessons.  This understanding helps you to surface any patterns which no longer support you as you move to New Earth.  This is a great opportunity for recognizing and owning all the relationship issues in a fun way that will clear them as they are embraced.  What would life be like if there were no relationship issues left and you dwelt in a reality of paradise surrounded by those who supported you on your path without trying to control it or you giving up your control?  Doing the work within is needed to reach this state of paradise.  It is well worth the effort.

We've talked a lot about attachments and limiting beliefs but that is not what we're talking about now.   To survive and get along or to get ahead in the world we've adopted programming and patterns of behavior that interfere with us experiencing reality as our joyful creation.  When we are open to evolving, these patterns will begin to occur as relationship issues.  We suggest you stop using the word issues, which implies there is a problem or something is wrong, and replace it with 'triggers'.  Triggers are helpful to healing, awareness and growth.  They allow you to embrace event as a wonderful opportunities to release something that interferes with your movement along your ascension path. Our triggers will come from the people around us, whether our family, friends, lovers, those we know on the internet or in our spiritual or healing communities.  

One example of this is a pattern or programming by a young boy who feels it is his responsibility to take care of his mom or sister and make them happy.  This pattern has replayed itself over and over again, resulting in him having several relationships with needy women.  They are drawn to him because he naturally feels he must take care of them or fix them.  One day he realizes he is overly giving and caring for the women in his life and he is receiving nothing in return.  He feels used and exhausted.  This is his trigger.  It's a wonderful thing to recognize our patterns and triggers and take them into our self-healing work with our I AM Self.  What a great contribution this last person was to freeing him of this pattern he's had since childhood.

Another example is within a father daughter relationship.  The more the little girl flirts and plays the more attention daddy showers upon her.  Little girls do that very well and Daddies easily melt and shower even more attention on them.   Those little girls grow up believing this is how to attract a boy, get attention, receive affection, or get other things they desire.   Then they grow up and wind up in a relationship which doesn't support their wisdom, knowledge, power and independence.  It only supports their playfulness and willingness to be submissive.  This leaves her lacking self empowerment and now she can't imagine ever leaving such a relationship.  This can happen time after time with all her male relationships, family and friends.  Now, on recognizing this and taking it into Self Healing, imagine she is free to express her power and wisdom and share it with another person who honors that in her.  Can we say the men were the only ones to blame here?  No, as there is no blame for either.  It was all a story played out for growth and learning.

Another example is a young child suppressed from speaking what they feel because their parents don't have time to listen or feel their words are nonsense or silly.  The child begins to hold everything in to avoid being verbally 'struck down'.  Perhaps in school they spoke their truth and peers laughed at them or the teacher carelessly explained in front of the whole class that they were wrong.   Now this child is grown up and begins to feel safe sharing and teaching.  Often people first come out of this suppressed state by writing blogs on the internet where there is distance in relationships.  Blogging has been very useful for many people learning to begin speaking their truth.  It feels good to have readers pat them on the back, agree with them and even admire them.  But, one day a reader disagrees and questions their knowledge and it sets off a trigger.  Instead of feeling excited to explain their truths to this person or happy to entertain the idea of seeing it from another angle, the person becomes defensive and feels threatened.   They decide to back down, withdraw and no longer express themselves.   If they can see this event as an opportunity to release old patterning they can be thankful for the experience and begin living and speaking their truth without fear.

In fact many blogs would be more Self Healing if they weren't written for an audience.  The time and energy in writing a blog about awareness, a moment of truth recognized or spiritual growth could benefit you greatly.  Until you've cleared your relationship triggers, it is highly likely that writing for an audience will alter your writing.  You subconsciously color it with what you "know you should feel, do or say" or you add something that will "make others respond positively to you."  Journaling is a vital tool for Self Healing.  We are not saying you should stop blogging.  Rather we're recommending your blogging time come after you've found the truth of something that arises in journaling.  You may even have more to offer others after you have gone deeper into understanding it first.

We must always honor our self for the creation of these patterns and programs.  They worked at the time.  They were what our Soul called us to do, especially when the patterns were adopted as a child.  We like to think of them as survivor skills and tools to learn our most important lessons in life.   In these examples, the lesson could be self empowerment, independence and maybe even setting boundaries.  The thing to look at as you review your relationship history is not only the patterns, but the underlying lessons as well.  When you begin this work your life and relationships move forward with purpose and fulfillment.  It also opens the door to having a life abundant with healthy relationships that serve you and your Higher Self.  When you and your Higher Self are fully connected you live in integrity and remain open to ascension.

Those of you who've been following our newsletter will understand the process of journaling to grasp an issue or pattern for deeper investigation.  Using the self healing techniques we've provided in earlier newsletters will help greatly too.   The following inquiry involves journaling to disclose the typical relationship patterns you've developed in your primary relationships since you were born.   You will want to look at the following list of relationships to see where you may have developed patterns that no longer serve your Highest Good.  Within each, look at how you viewed yourself in the relationship.  Then look at how you viewed the other individual.  You can make as many columns as you want, evaluating how you felt at different ages.  You may see shifts and you may see constant patterning.

Relationship to

Father                     
Brothers                  
Male Teachers         
Male Friends           
Male Coworker         
Male Boss               
Male Authority figures   
Male Teachers         
Male Romantic Partners
Male Doctors/Healers   

Mother
Sister
Female Teachers
Female Friends
Female Coworker
Female Boss
Female Authority figures
Female Teachers
Female Romantic Partners
Female Doctors/Healers

In this next section, we've included some typical patterns to look for within each of the above relationships.  These are by no means all inclusive, so be open to any other patterns that may arise into your awareness.   Also notice if any patterns are repetitive or one of a kind. 

Giver/Caretaker - Nurtures, takes care of the other, fills the Mom or Father figure

Receiver - Needs approval, needs guidance, needs a pat on the back

Leader - Listens to few. Must be in control. Feels responsible for everyone

Follower - Easily surrenders to another for direction and works for someone else's dream rather than their own.  Believes everyone else is better than them.

Rebel - A loner who does not trust anyone. Does not believe anyone & has few friends

Victim - Takes the blame for others, is a door mat, accepts abuse

Drama Queen  - Drama is always present in relationship yet thinks the drama is not about them

Clown -  Hiding behind humor, Feels responsible for making others happy, seldom serious

Entertainer - Has to be the center of attention, It's all about ME or I'm not happy

Again, these are only a few to assist you in being more aware of the patterns and programming you have adopted so that you can begin to identify triggers.  We will explain how to take this into Self Healing with your I Am Self at another time.  For now give yourself time to see and embrace your truths around relationships.  The most important thing is to be honest with Your Self.  No one else ever needs to see this journaling.

Blessed IS,
J & J