11 Tips For Living a Shorter, Fatter Life
Give yourself 5 points for every yes answer and zero for every no answer.
When you regularly choose to skip your workout your chances of living a shorter, fatter life go up.
When you go to bed with a full belly, your chances of living a fatter life go up.
When you starve all day and eat a huge meal at night, your chances of living a shorter, fatter life go up.
When you drink more than three drinks a day, your chances of living a shorter and fatter life go up.
When you sleep less than 6 hours a night, your chances of living less long go up.
When you can't see your toes because of your belly, your chances of living a shorter, fatter life go up.
When you skip breakfast everyday, your chances of living a shorter, fatter life go up.
When you are so stressed out that it keeps you awake at night, your chances of living a shorter life go up.
When you avoid stress reducing, mind-body techniques like yoga and tai chi or meditation your chances of living a chaotic life go up.
When you never lift weights or do weight-bearing exercises like push-ups, your chances of living in a nursing home go up
When you eat lots of sugar, white breads and no fiber, your chances of living a fatter, shorter life go up.
55-40 Points-Congratulations! You will live the shortest, fattest life possible! Enjoy it while you can, It won't be much longer.
39-25 Points- You're doing okay with shortening your life span but if you just let yourself slip a bit more you should be dead before you know it, You've got several promising bad habits.
24-20 Points- You have your occasional slip-ups but overall you are failing at dying early, keep trying though. All it takes is a little slacking and in a decade or two, you can undo all your success.
Under 19 Points- You've failed miserably at living the short, fat life. You'll probably live a longer, slimmer life than most of the rest of us but oh well, at least we won't be around to witness it.
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