PENNY'S WORKOUT WORLD- brings you:
*Fitness Rants for the Chronologically Enriched
*Spitzer Marital Fitness
*Fitness Is Discipline Over Decades
*Me on ABC this weekend:)
CLICK HERE TO
CHECK OUT MY
WORKOUT WORLD March 14,2008 Issue# 32
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Greetings!
I have never heard the women in the locker room quite as wound up as they have been this week, thanks to Elliot Spitzer.
He seems to have hit a few raw nerves, since most of my friends are women not unlike Mrs. Spitzer.
We've all been married too long to even remember UNsafe sex and if I am honest,
we really can't quite imagine what in the world you could do in two hours that would be worth $4300.
So in order to make all of our ranting worthwhile, I thought I'd make a
Spitzer Marital Fitness
Do's & Don'ts List
*Don't Lie
*Do practice Safe Sex (hello, we teach our 7th graders this)
*Do be prepared to follow the same rules yourself if you are prosecuting others for violating them.
*Don't publicly humiliate anyone you love, especially if you want them to want them to love you back.
Oh what the heck, I think the best marital fitness advice I can give is for you to go home and sneak up on your spouse and give them a hug and a kiss on the neck and then just repeat that every day for the next several decades, with slight daily variations.
Thanks for the reminder, Elliot.
(Read more here)
FITNESS IS DICIPLINE OVER DECADES
I took over seven years of piano lessons when I was a kid. I really liked my pia no teacher. She was the minister's wife at the First Christian Church and I played very well during the actual thirty minutes of my lesson. But could I actually play you a song today? Or even thirty years ago when I was fresh from my lessons?
No.
And do you know why? My dirty little piano secret is that I never practiced like I should've in the six days between one lesson and the next. So the burning question really is:
Would I be a better pianist today if I'd applied myself and practiced back then?
And we all know the answer.
I hang my head to tell you that I regret not devoting just a few minutes every day of my pre-teen daily routine, which,
as far as I can recollect, was totally barren of any other commitments
or after school activities besides torturing our dog Lassie
by turning his ears inside out ,
which I still regret because it was the ONLY thing he hated and
by wandering next door to my Grandma Love's to see if she had any
warm chocolate pudding (which she always did, which drove my mom up the tree).
I don't even remember doing any homework-another dirty secret.
Mrs. Kirk would've blushed in pride, pinker than any shade a minister's wife should ever blush, if I'd shown the slightest degree of improvement that indicated that I'd even looked in the direction of the piano at some point since the last lesson.
And the same application of effort (and it's resulting trickle-down effect )is so true for exercise as well.
If, in your forties, you never do more than a weekly tennis match
or a round of golf,
then in your fifties,don't expect
to jump in on any games of touch football
if you get invited to Thanksgiving dinner
at the Kennedy's.
And don't expect to play a round of tennis with your grandkids
or even a game of catch with them in your sixties, for that matter.
If you do not regularly exercise,
and by that I mean at LEAST three to four times a week for a half hour
so that you are sweating,
you will end up doing the fitness version
of what I now do when I sit down at a piano.
I play exactly half of the one song that I know (and I haven't forgotten due to early onset Alzheimer's either. That's all I've ever known). At least the first half is impressive. It's the Entertainer.
Then I pretend that I'm embarrassed by how talented and musical I am and I get up in a huff of modesty, shaking off all the pleading and begging from my audience (usually my kids and dog) to keep going.
What a faker I am.
In the fitness world, I see this all the time.
A parent starts a rousing game of soccer in the back yard and
about the time the kids are warmed up,
Dad is huffing and puffing
and suddenly
remembers
he HAS to move
the sprinkler in the front yard.
It cannot wait.
Folks, don't be that way.
But in order to NOT be that way,
you have to start now.
Practice your sweating.
And trust me, in a few short decades,
you'll thank me,
the fitness version of Mrs. Kirk the piano teacher.
And hopefully I will still be around as well.
So that you can see me blush in pride.
Even brighter red than a minister's wife.
(Read More Here..)
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 MY NEW BOOK IS ALMOST READY!
FITNESS RANTS
FOR THE
CHRONOLOGICALLY
ENRICHED
I've got so many people,
at least six or seven so far,
wanting an official copy of my rants on the situation
I find myself in
as I fight the uphill battle
to keep active.
Why am I a fitness expert?
Mostly because I proclaimed myself one.
But, let's just say I started out 25 years ago as an overzealous aerobics instructor and suddenly, two and a half decades have passed.
I feel like I'm entitled. It's as simple as that.
I'm here to inspire you with my story,
despite my bunion and hammertoe,
despite my tight hamstrings,
my torn ACL and the fact that I can't remember my next door neighbor's first name occasionally.
Add in my lack of remaining knee cartilage ,
as well as my two artificial hips.
Maybe I should not even mention my
decreased production of collagen
and the resulting wrinkles (only when I smile, unfortunately-why can't they show when I frown?),
also the morning stiffness
and occasional night time insomnia.
Plus my denial about needing reading glasses.
"Waiter, Just bring me the Chicken Ceasar Salad."
How's that for credentials?
So I have compiled a short little book for you
to keep on your bed side table, or perhaps near your treadmill,
to remind yourself that you are not alone
and that the battle is (or will be) worth all of the effort
and to never,
never,
never give up.
No matter how hard your husband laughs at you
when he sees you in your old jog bra.
And also to sometimes recommend the prudency
of an Advil as a precautionary measure
before your first personal trainer session.
You can buy the book here.
Although it won't be shipped for a few weeks
but my one time introductory pre-sale price is low low low
and you should get 'em while they're hot.
Or rather,
before they're hot.
Just go to my website to read more rants
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WATCH FOR ME "LIVE"
ON
New York City's
ABC WEEKEND MORNING NEWS
ON MARCH 15TH AT 7:45AM
if you sleep in, you can view it at7 online.com
REMEMBER, GOOD HEALTH IS JUST THE SLOWEST WAY TO DIE!
Penny & Her Workout World
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