Say Yes. Everyday.

Wisdom Out Newsletter: May 2011

In This Issue

When to say "yes" to commitment.

Refer a wise couple to the Wise for Love Project

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Session 1, July 11-12: The Foundations of Great Coaching.

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Say yes. Everyday.

Donna Lei thought George was just asking her to be his valentine. After all, it was Valentine's Day, and they had driven up to the mountains to celebrate. So before he could get the words, "will you marry me?" out of his mouth, Donna Lei was already tugging impatiently on the string she had fastened to a banner that proclaimed, "Yes I will!" She had cleverly concealed the banner in a jar of cinnamon hearts. "Yes I will!" she shouted as the banner unfurled. Then, "huh? What?"

George and Donna Lei are my favorite commitment story. Their story is my favorite because it illustrates this fundamental truth: commitment to another person requires us to say "yes" without really knowing what we are getting ourselves into.

At dinner with friends in Houston a few months ago, we talked about this. When it comes to committing to another person, how do you know when to say yes? We had a few theories: 1. You should experience the holidays together at least once, with both families. If you can survive that on no more than two cocktails per day (per person), say yes. 2. Your fundamental values about money and sex should be the same. If both parties say they have the right amount of both, say yes. 3. You should go through at least one major crisis together. If you can agree not to fall apart on the same day, and be there for the other person on their day, say yes. 4. You should wait at least the same time it takes to get a license to carry a concealed weapon--which in Texas, is 60 days.

It occurs to me that saying yes, is not a one time event. People grow. They acquire new habits and explore new hobbies. Their experiences influence them, hone them, and bring out dormant idiosyncrasies. Perhaps the simplest truth about commitment to another person is that you have to say "yes" to each other, not just once, but every single day.

This is an example of the ideas we explore in the Wise for Love project. Tell me your story of how you love wisely. How do you know when to say yes?

Write to me at elle@WisdomOut.com.

Note: George Sumner is an acclaimed artist and Donna Lei runs their art studio and salesroom.

Click here to visit George and Donna Lei Sumner's website.

Elle Allison
Wisdom Out

Wisdom Quote

"Wise men say, only fools rush in. But I can't help falling in love with you."

(From the song made popular by Elvis Presley)

Refer a wise couple to the "Wise For Love" Project

The mission of the "Wise in Love" series is to illuminate the nature of love and relationships through the lens of wisdom.

I welcome your referrals of wise couples ~ those plucky partners who are navigating life together quite well and who have a positive impact on others. These wise couples can be married or unmarried, gay or straight. Remember, wisdom is not always associated with age or how long a couple has been together (some people have been together for a miserable long time). Please email me at

elle@wisdomout.com

Who can't use a little more wisdom?

Elle is available for keynotes about the nature of wisdom and how it shows up in life, work, and love.

Bring author Dr. Elle Allison into your organization or business as a keynote speaker on the topic of wisdom. Elle customizes each presentation to meet your participant's unique needs and molds every topic to address the specific issues of the industry and audience. Her pre-conference interviews of participants even allow her to weave in specific wisdom stories from your organization.

For more information, please visit the Wisdom Out website at http://www.wisdomout.com/wisdom-keynotes.html

Especially during this time of economic hardship for many, please consider the kids in your neighborhood and the effect hunger has on their ability to learn. Donate what you can to your local food bank.