Vincent van Gogh was terribly unlucky at love. As a young man, he fell in love twice and was spurned twice. Later, he had what was considered to be a scandalous love affair with an older woman who eventually attempted suicide. In between, he lived with a pregnant prostitute, contracted syphilis, and went in and out of insane asylums. He eventually married, but then died just one year later of a self-inflicted gun shot wound. Still, in a letter to his brother, van Gogh gamely describes the effects of love: "it may well seem to you that the sun is shining more brightly and that everything has taken on a new charm." van Gogh was of the opinion that love made a person more focused and more able to accomplish great things. He wrote, "...one has more peace of mind about many things and so is more likely to do better work." Although love despaired him on more than occasion, van Gogh's art might lead us to hope that he also experienced at least some of its comfort. 

For many people, being in love unleashes energy to expand in ways that are fruitful and significant. For these individuals, love feels like freedom and not containment.

As much as I agree with van Gogh's observations about the energy that comes from love, I see a lurking liability. If we believe that romantic love brings out our best, might we overlook the truth that energy and freedom are always there for us? Perhaps the real wisdom lesson is that love should never diminish us--should never reduce our impulse to live large and loud.

This is an example of the ideas we explore in the Wise for Love project. Tell me your story of how you love wisely. How is love like freedom for you?