Wisdom Strategy: Wisdom Sees Others, featuring Wisdom Makers Ed Furuike and Christina Baldwin
"Listen to See Others, Listen to See Yourself"
"Listening is a magnetic and strange thing, a creative force. The friends who listen to us are the ones we move toward. When we are listened to, it creates us, makes us unfold and expand."
--Karl A. Menninger
If all the bad news about what is happening in the world and economy is making you feel afraid, there is something you can do today: You can listen to someone. When you listen, really listen without interrupting, judging, or making the conversation about you, others sort through their confusion and uncover their own wisdom. This is especially needed when the fear-driven "experts" who bombard the media with worst case stories, scare our wisdom into silence.
When someone listens to us long enough, we eventually say what we really want. Hearing the words out loud gives them weight and makes us realize we know what to do. Then, we can turn to selected experts and mentors who have empowering methods for putting our decisions into action.
Good listeners know the secret truth about listening: they benefit just as much as the person they are listening to. When you listen, your perspective widens, your heart expands, you think more deeply about your own life.
Wisdom Makers are generous listeners and as such, their own lives are rich. Look at the lives of Ed Furuike and Christina Baldwin. Ed is an accomplished and successful artist who teaches art in Hawaii. Ed discovered the reciprocal power of listening years ago and uses it to jump start creative forces in his work and life. As a teacher, Ed stays very open and is not afraid to say he does not have all the answers. He navigates the challenging times in his life by reaching out to friends who will listen to him. He says, "I cannot keep my sadness or my happiness to myself. I talk to others and then I search my heart and make a decision." Christina Baldwin is an author, teacher, and founder of a movement she calls "storycatching." Christina learned early in her life that journal writing helped her to know her own heart. Since the 1970's, Christina has devoted herself to creating opportunities for people to tell their story in order to make sense of their lives. Christina says, "Story is how we become real to each other. Story is how we create community. Story is how we imagine our way forward."
When times are tough and you don't know what to do, offer to listen to someone, ask to be listened to.
To contact Ed, go to http://www.cedarstreetgalleries.com/bin/works.cgi?Artist=FuruikeEd. To contact Christina, go to http://www.storycatcher.net.
Wisdom Sees Others:
For You to Try:
The experts have a lot of advice about what to do these days. Wisdom understands that all people, no matter what their circumstance, know more about the way forward than they give themselves credit for. Offer to listen to someone you know who is feeling discouraged and powerless. Maybe they lost their job, or a career opportunity did not work out. Maybe their debt is overwhelming. Maybe they are not sure how they will feed their family or provide the things their children need. Listen to one person each day this week and see what happens. One time this week, ask someone to just listen to you.
Remember these two simple rules:
- Just listen (Don't interrupt, don't add anything, don't give advice, don't tell your own story).
- After you ask a question like the examples below, be quiet and just listen!
Here are some questions that get people talking and listening:
- What are you facing at home or work? Tell me about that.
- Tell me more.
- If you could do anything now, what would it be?
- Who else cares about this when it happens to people?
- What are the best stories you know of other people who have been through this and came out on the other side? What do you know about what they did?
- What do dream of doing now?
- What have you been avoiding about this? What if you were bold and powerful?
- Where have you been stopping short? What action could you take that would make a difference?
- What if the best thing that could happen will? Think big -- not just paying off your debt, for example, but creating a life situation where you will never be in debt again.
- What is possible now for anyone in this same position?
- At the end of listening, ask the other person what they are thinking now. Then ask them this: what will you do first?
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Wisdom Quote
"Action is the antidote to despair."
--Joan Baez
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Book Announcement
 Check out this link from Wiley - you will find a page about the first book that draws on research from Wisdom Out. The book is called Renewal Coaching: Sustainable Change for Individuals and Organizations (Jossey-Bass, March 2009, by Douglas Reeves and Elle Allison)
http://www.wiley.com/WileyCDA/WileyTitle/productCd-0470414960.html
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The Six Steps of Wisdom Out
Seeing Others is something wise people do. Look for discussions and examples about each of these steps in future Wisdom Out newsletters.
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| Do You Know a Wise Couple or Person?
Participate in the WIsdom Out research! I have two open projects. The first is called, What WIse People Do which documents the strategies used by regular people like you and me to live a wiser life. The second one is called, What Wise Couples Do. This exciting project seeks to illuminate the nature of wisdom in couples -- to shine a light on the way wise couples got together in the first place and how they navigate the travails of life together. Please submit your nomination by going to the referral page at http://www.wisdomout.com/nomination_form.html
Wishing you a peaceful holiday season. All will be well.
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