 Wisdom Strategy: Wisdom Knows
"Wisdom Knows the Real Secret"
"Life is a vast and intricate conspiracy designed to keep us well supplied with blessings. What kind of blessings? Palatial homes, attractive lovers, lottery winnings, career success? Maybe. But just as likely: interesting surprises, unexpected challenges, gifts we hardly know what to do with, conundrums that force us to get smarter." --Rob Brezsny
Do you remember the book The Secret featured on Oprah? I believed in the secret long before it was The Secret. My whole life I've seen evidence that you have to know what you want, believe it is already yours, and receive it when it arrives. I also know you have to do your part - you have to take action, you can't be a freeloader. So I put my "order" in to the universe for a cottage by the sea. As instructed, I project it regularly on the Big Screen in my mind. It is a cozy dwelling with big windows and white curtains through which I see the ocean--crashing, sparkling, or undulating--depending on its mood for the day. Sometimes a swordfish leaps magnificently not too far off shore. The furnishings are white, the chairs and sofas overstuffed. Worn pitchers of yellow sunflowers stand on a pine table that sits on a big porch. In my study is a fainting bed.
I've never been a slacker, so I decided to be proactive about securing my sea cottage. The primary strategy I settled on for the time being is to buy, whenever I buy anything, only items that I picture furnishing my beach house. Being frugal, however, my rule is that I will buy things for my cottage that I also needed in my current world. This means that I cannot just go out and buy a distressed painted cupboard for my cottage if I do not need it in my current abode - which at the moment is a one room loft in Washington DC that cannot accommodate more than two days of groceries let alone a cupboard. But I did need a bed set. I settled on a lovely and expensive queen size duvet, shams, dust ruffle, and several throw pillows all in a crisp black and white "shabby chic" French toile.
Allow me to cut to the chase. The first time the dog threw up on my beach cottage bedding, I washed it in a machine at the laundromat. The stain came out, but the seam connecting the ruffle to the body of the quilt shredded. The stuffing oozed out in fat wet clumps. I hand sewed it shut in awkward stitches resembling the scar on Frankenstein's head. Then a friend came to town and we went out for Indian food. I brought our leftovers home and ate them the next day, tossing the containers into the trash. While I was out that evening, the dog fished the containers out of the garbage and brought them up on the bed in order to lick them clean in comfort and style. He smeared the sauce all over the quilt. And the pillows. And the throw blanket tossed artfully to one side. I washed the whole thing again, opening the monstrous stitches I had sewed just a few days before. The stains lingered like gruesome evidence from a crime scene. That day I had to go out of town, so my sister Carrie came to stay with the dog. During the night the dog (who sleeps in the bed) threw up the Indian food, re-staining not only large pieces of the duvet but also the innocent bed sheets. My sister tried to wash the whole mess before I returned, but found the task hopeless. In one week, my expensive duvet set went from shabby chic to just plain old shabby. Does this mean I'm not meant to have a beach cottage? Of course not!
The real secret to The Secret comes to us in lessons from those who are much wiser than me. Consider the story of Jean Deeds, a gutsy Wisdom Maker who, at age 51, hiked the Appalachian Trail alone. Jean knows that the real secret is persevering in what you want to do and feel "meant to do" even when things come up that test your commitment. Not only did Jean experience the usual challenges of long distance hiking - rain, cold, loneliness - she broke her leg just 300 miles from finishing her journey. Jean says, "Breaking my leg taught me that things don't always turn out the way you anticipate." When people back home heard she broke her leg, they rallied behind her and when the bone healed, she went right back out and completed the final 300 miles. This time a film crew followed her, which led to a documentary, a book, and a whole new career in leading outdoor adventure tours for women. Jean told me that she always knew she would complete her Appalachian Trail journey. Her perseverance comes from a combination of gut feeling and rational thought that energizes her to confront fear. Jean said, "I learned I could do whatever the trail asked of me." Jean's book, There are Mountains to Climb (Silverwood Press 1996) can be purchased online at Amazon and Powells.
Wisdom Knows.
For You to Try:
Right now, during these financially unstable times, many people see only what they are being stopped from doing in their lives. Wisdom sees that opportunity exists in the most unexpected places. Is there something you feel thwarted from accomplishing or feel discouraged about? Before you give up, what if you reframe the setbacks as curious and surprising opportunities?
Try this exercise - fill in the blanks as many times as you can.
Now that __________________ has happened, I can make it mean that
__________________________ (something positive), and that could lead to:
__________________________ (something else you hadn't thought of that is good for yourself and others).
Example: Now that I broke my leg and have to heal before I finish my journey, I can make it mean that I have time to network with others to rally my comeback in a way that reaches even more people than I first imagined, and that could lead to authentic insight and a whole new career.
Example: Now that I lost half my savings in the stock market, I can make it mean that the business I always wanted to start but never gave any time to deserves a second look and that could lead to feeling empowered, creating opportunities for others, and doing something I always knew I could do.
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| The Six Steps of Wisdom Out
Wisdom Rushes In is one of the six steps toward becoming wiser. Look for discussions and examples about each of these steps in future Wisdom Out newsletters.
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| Do You Know a Wise Couple?
What Wise Couples Do (yes, I keep changing the book title) seeks to illuminate the nature of wisdom in couples - to shine a light on the way wise couples got together in the first place and how they navigate the travails of life together. Can you refer wise couples we could interview? Please submit your nomination by going to the referral page at http://www.wisdomout.com/nomination_form.html
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Book Announcement
Check out this link from Wiley - you will find a page about the first book that draws on research from Wisdom Out. The book is called Renewal Coaching: Sustaining Individual and Organizational Change (Jossey-Bass, March 2009)
http://www.wiley.com/WileyCDA/WileyTitle/productCd-0470414960.html
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Wisdom Quote
"I think a hero is an ordinary individual who finds strength to persevere and endure in spite of overwhelming obstacles."
--Christopher Reeve
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