Wisdom Strategy
Wisdom Out and Then Decide
"The indispensable first step to getting the things you want out of life is this: decide what you want." -Ben Stein
A couple of months ago, I took the opportunity to rent out my home in New Mexico and temporarily at least, move somewhere else. I am one of those lucky people who write and travel for a living, making it possible for me to live anywhere as long as I am near an airport. The trouble with being able to live anywhere is that at some point (like when the new renters are moving their belongings into your home) you have to decide where you will go. I was torn between the San Francisco Bay Area and Washington DC - yes, I know, two opposite coasts but these are the places where I feel at home. I had two days to choose between a condo in a remote part of the Bay Area and a loft in downtown DC-and just like the coasts they were on, two more opposite abodes could not exist. I had already seen the loft in DC and liked it. So I took a day to fly to San Francisco to check out the condo. The condo was tucked into a hillside and had expansive views of the city and the bay. My first thought was that I really should move here, especially since the coldest winter months were bearing down on the East Coast, and it is so beautiful here. But, I just couldn't get Washington DC out of my mind.
I have a keen sense of intuition. My problem is that I don't always give it a proper hearing. I am quick to sense something that just does not feel right, and I am just as quick to overrule the sensation in order to give situations and people a chance. By and large, this is a great way to live, but some situations and some people truly are not good for us and we need to sit for a while to give the reasons a chance to surface.
Something about the condo on the West Coast did not feel right to me, and it took me the better part of a day to figure out that it simply was too isolating for me right now. Having just broken off a long-term relationship that I felt sad about, I needed to be around people. I wanted to be right in the middle of a city where I could wander the museums, galleries, and bookstores. A place that had coffee shops where I could sit and write late into the night. A place with a lot of running and cycling groups I could join. Right then and there, sipping a margarita on the dock of the bay, I decided to go to Washington DC. Immediately, I felt excited and relieved; this decision felt so right. What was even more exciting however, was being mindful of the sensation of my intuition at work.
Just like you and me, the Wisdom Makers of Wisdom Out face every dilemma known to humankind. They are also known for making decisions they feel good about and that allow them to learn. When facing dilemmas, they seem to make decisions by using a balanced combination of intuition and rational problem solving that draws on previous experiences and emotional awareness. I've discovered that the first step in the process often begins with letting go of preconceived expectations about what they should do or what they are clinging to. The Wisdom Makers are able to suspend these notions, at least for a while, to allow less habitual options to surface. Then they listen and watch for what comes next, which could be an insight, a new emotion, or new people and opportunities. Through letting go, literally giving up the illusion that they know all the possible answers, the Wisdom Makers invite wisdom into the thought process. This form of wisdom ultimately leads them to take actions that more often than not, lead to resolutions that bring satisfaction and delight. Moreover, when all is said and done, decisions made with wisdom often turn out to make a difference for other people too. Consider these steps when you need to make a wise decision:
- Let go, at least temporarily to what you think you "should" do.
- Sit for a while and see what else surfaces. Listen and watch for the reasons behind the confusion. Maybe your values are at risk and that is disturbing you.
- Brainstorm many options - look at options that would be uncharacteristic for you. Is it time to take a risk or try something new? Look fearlessly at what could be. What option would lead to learning and growth?
- Take a look at what becomes possible within the options, from places further out from this immediate moment. If I choose this option, these new possibilities now become available.
- Don't shop your decisions around to everyone you meet; this often adds to the confusion. If you need to hear yourself process the decision out loud, ask one or two trusted friends to listen.
- Consider how each choice contributes to the goodness in your life and the lives of others. Many of the Wisdom Makers talk about "following the good."
- Remain aware of your emotions during the process. I felt something like a quickening - a sudden sense of excitement and understanding when I got closer to making my choice.
- Decide and commit. Give it your all.
- Understand that new decisions can be made at any time. Life is bountiful and "mistakes" often bring unexpected gifts.
Are you facing a dilemma that needs you to make a wise decision? Try activating these wisdom decision-making steps and see what happens. Start with something you have to decide today. Drop me an email and let me know about your experience. Tell me your wisdom story at elle@wisdomout.com
Wisdom Out!
Elle
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Update on the Wisdom Out Books
Do you know a wise couple?
Wisdom Out Relationships is gaining attention! Let me know about a couple you know, married or not, gay or straight that you feel are living life with wisdom. Wisdom Out Relationships seeks to illuminate the nature of wisdom in couples - to shine a light on the way these couples navigate life together. Remember, wisdom is not the same thing as perfection. In fact, it is hard won through facing and resolving the challenges of life.
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February: Virginia, Washington DC, Philadelphia, Connecticut, New Jersey
March: Denver, Virginia, Washington DC, Connecticut, New Jersey
April: Washington DC, Boston, Connecticut, New Jersey
May: Chicago, Washington DC, Boston, Connecticut
June: Washington DC, Connecticut
June 12: Keynote address to the Association of Medical Record Coders, Albuquerque, NM
June 25-27: Presentation at the Leaders in Transition Conference, Cambridge, MA
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Wisdom Quote
"The greatest mistake you can make is to be continually fearing you will make one."
--Elbert Hubbard
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