Wisdom Strategy
Beauty in the Breakdown
Considering we all have losses in life, you'd think we'd all be expert at handling them. Instead, often our response is to rage and cry out with the injustice of it all. In her best selling book, Eat, Pray, Love: One woman's search for everything across Italy, India and Indonesia, Elizabeth Gilbert writes about laying on the cold bathroom floor in the middle of the night, sobbing and begging God for answers. Then, she got very quiet, very still, and the voice inside her translated God's response. The voice simply said, "Go back to bed, Liz." Gilbert says, "True wisdom gives the only possible answer at any given moment, and that night, going back to bed was the only possible answer." And so she did.
Ha! Sometimes, in the midst of mayhem, all we can do is respond with common sense to the present moment, and then the next present moment, and then the next one. I am reminded of a card I received once from a friend that said, "All will be well, and all will be well, and all manner of things will be well." These words come to us all the way from the 14th Century from a woman on her deathbed. When things seem to be at their worst, your pain can talk to you. If you listen, it will tell you what you can do.
Wisdom Maker Randolph Fazande lost both his mother and father to Hurricane Katrina. I first reached Randolph by phone, at his home in Raceland Louisiana where he lives with his wife Sadie. As he told me his story, I could hear Sadie in the background, hollering out a detail Randolph forgot or to correct him on his facts. His parents died in their single story home, waiting for rescue workers to find them. Randolph had tried to get them to leave their home but as he said to me, "If you're familiar with old people, you can't make em' do what they don't want to do. My dad was a "go-er" and my mom was a "stay-er". But Dad would never leave without Mom, so they stayed in their house."
The swelling floodwater chased Randolph's folks up to the attic. Randolph got in his car and headed to their way, but the highway was blocked by torrents of water. He got out of the car, thinking for one confused moment that he could continue on foot. He was talking to his mom on the cell phone as she described what she saw, now the water broke through the canal, now the fence is gone, the chimney just came down. Randolph listened helplessly unable to do a single thing.
After a while, Randolph could no longer reach them on the cell phone. He said, "I knew they were dead. Now, we have to get their bodies out." He adds, "This is when the real nightmare began." The remains of both his parents were first mislabeled and then misplaced and months passed before they were identified and recovered. Randolph says, "A tragedy like this brings out the best and worst in people. They were 78 years old each-childhood sweethearts, married for 58 years. So there is good that comes of things if you just think of it that way."
I admire the way Randolph followed each moment during Katrina - responding where he could, accepting the results of things he could not do a thing about. In Randolph we see that contemporary wisdom demands courage, mindfulness and love. What is happening in your life right now that requires this kind of wisdom? Tell at least one person about this and brainstorm some actions you can take. See what happens. Email your story to me at elle@wisdomout.com
Wisdom Out!
Elle
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Update on the Book "Wisdom Out"
A dozen new referrals have come in the past few months for Wisdom Out and I have three new referrals of couples for Wisdom Out Relationships. Check the website for information about these Contemporary Wisdom Makers. We are also adding a new section to the website: A link to articles authored by Elle on the topic of wisdom. You will be able to download these articles, print them and share them.
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DO YOU KNOW SOMEONE WHO IS WISE? I would LOVE to receive your nomination of a wise one, from anywhere in the world. AND, DON'T MISS THE CHANCE to nominate a "wise couple." You know, those amazing couples who navigate the world together in remarkable ways. These interviews will be videotaped. Please visit the nomination page at http://wisdomout.com/nominate.html.
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will be in the following cities in coming months:
January: San Francisco, Washington DC, Salt Lake City, Connecticut, New York
February: Washington DC, Connecticut, Virginia, New Jersey
March: Washington DC, Denver, Salt Lake City
April: Washington DC, Boston
May: Boston, Chicago, Connecticut
Related Workshops and Presentations:
- June 12 I'll deliver the keynote address on the topic of Wisdom, at the New Mexico Association of Medical Record Coders
- June 25-27 I'll be in Cambridge, MA for a presentation on Leadership Performance Coaching
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Wisdom Quote
"You will never be happy if you continue to search for what happiness consists of. You will never live if you are looking for the meaning of life."
--Albert Camus
This newsletter is dedicated to my beautiful and dear friend Linda James who passed away in December.
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