Wisdom Strategy
"Wisdom and Relationships"
"Gravitation is not responsible for people falling in love."
-Albert Einstein
For some people, relationships represent the wild, wild, west - the place where wisdom has yet to put down roots and bloom. Figuring they would have some helpful perspectives, I started to ask the Wisdom Makers™ to tell me about love. Tell me they did. Catherine said she always knew right away when it was love. Theresa said love requires you to forgive yourself every morning. Bonnie just said, "All you need is love." They also started to tell me about couples they thought I should interview - an idea I loved and followed up on by adding a place for people to nominate wise couples on the Wisdom Out website nomination page. A couple of weeks ago, I met with a literary agent who also liked the idea. So now I find myself moving ahead with the research for Wisdom Relationship even as I continue researching and writing Wisdom Out. Those of you who know me personally are no doubt amused by the irony. Me write a book about relationships - my own personal wild, wild, west? As usual, I'll learn right along with everyone else. To be sure, I have learned a thing or two about wisdom from the Wisdom Makers of Wisdom Out - now we all will have the incredible opportunity to see how wisdom manifests in relationships.
An idea came to me as I was thinking about the questions I would ask the referred wise couples. Why not ask people to tell me what they want to know? I could then structure the interviews around the topics of greatest need and interest from the view of the reader! I've already polled family and friends and have a growing list. Here is what has come up so far: How do you recognize the feeling of real love? What is love? If you are in love should it be with you all the time? Usually one person is more dominant than the other - can an equally balanced relationship work - or if one person is comfortable being less aggressive than the other, is that OK? What has been your greatest challenge to date - one requiring tremendous skill and compromise? What about commitment, trust and fidelity - including emotional fidelity? Do you hang out with other "wise" couples? If so, where do you find them? Do you share a spiritual life? How did you know this was the real thing? Disagreements are inevitable - what do you do when you disagree? How do you handle the challenges of aging and disagreements about life? How do you maintain your individual sense of identity? Do you consciously work on your relationship? What is the role of humor in your relationship? What is the key to your happy relationship? How do you support and encourage each other? Are you in love? What makes you happy? How do you maintain intimacy in this crazy, busy world - not just sex, but connecting? How do you balance your time, spending what percent together and on your own? How do you keep it going? How do you talk together? And my own personal favorite: What has been possible because of the wisdom you have together?
So here is your chance to join the conversation about wisdom in relationships right from the beginning. What else do you want to know? Send me your questions for the wise couples and I'll sort them all out and ask them for you. And don't stop with your questions! Do you know a wise couple? It's up to you to determine the criteria - you know wisdom when you see it - go to the nomination form on the website and tell me why you think the couple is wise. When it comes to learning about wisdom, diversity is a plus. Wise couples may be married or not, gay or straight, it doesn't matter. Lets just see what we can learn from these stand-out pairs who have a knack for getting together, staying together, and working their way through life together with that something special we call wisdom. Don't forget, I'm still interviewing wise individuals for Wisdom Out too. Please visit the web site or drop me a note any time: elle@wisdomout.com
Wisdom Out!
Elle
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Update on the Book "Wisdom Out"
Please visit the "Meet the Wisdom Makers" page http://wisdomout.com/wisdom_makers.html to learn about the Wisdom Makers. Many of them have websites you can visit to learn more about what they are doing in the world and to see how you can be involved.
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DO YOU KNOW SOMEONE WHO IS WISE? I would LOVE to receive your nomination of a wise one, from anywhere in the world. AND, DON'T MISS THE CHANCE to nominate a "wise couple." You know, those amazing couples who navigate the world together in remarkable ways. These interviews will be videotaped. Please visit the nomination page at http://wisdomout.com/nominate.html.
Although I conduct many interviews of the Wisdom Makers™ by phone, I
will be in the following cities in coming months and would love to do a
face-to-face interview with someone you think is wise:
October 23-26: Seventh Annual International Transformative Learning Conference, Albuquerque NM. I will present a white paper titled: From Adversity to Wisdom: How people experience transformative learning to redeem adversity and serve a greater good. I will also facilitate a workshop where participants can make a Descansos to identify the redemptive sequence in their life. And finally, I will present a poster session where I will showcase the work of Wisdom Out and all of the Wisdom Makers. To learn more or to register to attend the conference, please visit: http://tlc2007.unm.edu/
November: Denver, Phoenix, and Boston
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Wisdom Quote
"When I reach the next world, God will not ask me, 'Why were you not Moses?' Instead, he will ask me, 'Why were you not Zusya?' "
--Rabbi Zusya (early Hassidic sage)
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