Wisdom Strategy
"Adversity & Loss: Wisdom's Compost Heap"
"It surprises us that darkness can be the source of inspiration."
-Pema Chodron
Some researchers of wisdom offer the insight that loss, adversity, and even tragedy provide a "ripe context for wisdom to grow." I like to think of it as a compost heap. In fact, wisdom is usually hard won, gained by landing in the muck and mire on more than one occasion and then pulling oneself out. Wisdom often comes after the fact, in the spaces between striking events of life, when we sit stunned and mortified by our own foolishness, naiveté, or vulnerability, vowing never to make that mistake again, or when a great suffering has dropped us to our knees. Clarissa Pinkola-Estes, Jungian psychologist and author of the book Women who Run With Wolves, calls these losses "las muertes chiquitas, and las muertes grandotas," "small deaths and big deaths." She says these are, "...the roads that were not taken, paths that were cut off, ambushes, betrayals, and deaths."
Life's losses have a way of obscuring the new day dawning. When we are under the influence of strong emotions - such that come with loss and adversity - we have to listen carefully for signs of our own life. It's been many years now since I left my marriage and home and struck out on my own. The day I left, I took the dog and checked into a fancy hotel in Santa Fe - one that welcomed pets and served both of us hamburgers and french fries in our room. The first morning, I put on my running shoes and told the compliant dog, "We're going for a run." The two of us got hopelessly lost and ran for three hours without food or water. Ole' kept looking up at me as if to say that even he, the dog, knew this was excessive.
In the back of my head, I always knew I was going to run a marathon. After running for three non-stop hours, I figured today was as good as any other to start training for one. As will happen when you are most in need, at a diner that night, a flyer for a marathon training group that raises money for leukemia research called "Team in Training" caught my eye. I signed up that weekend, made many lasting friends, got in the best shape of my life, raised a ton of money for leukemia, and ran the first of what would be many marathons. Talk about a fertile compost heap.
The Wisdom Makers™ teach us that wisdom grows in the places in between loss and redemption. When Cindy was diagnosed with Lupus, her life changed drastically. For a while, she could barely do much more than sleep. During this dormant period, Cindy was changing. She was reconstructing a new way of being. As a PhD, RN, it dawned on Cindy that she could help other women learn how to live well with connective tissue disorders. As she began to feel better physically, she launched a series of research projects that explored the lives of women with these diseases, and then she designed tools and strategies for them to use. Cindy to action which countered her despair and gave meaning to her suffering.
Several ideas make Cindy's wisdom visible:
- After her diagnosis, she joined a support group where other women asked for her advice.
- Cindy connected the dots in her life...here she was a PhD RN; she was in the perfect position to research connective tissue disease.
- Cindy put a plan in place and took action.
- Adversity inspired Cindy to do the important work she is now doing. This work actually redeems the original loss (good health) and gives it meaning, transforming it to serve a greater good.
What's going on for you now? What are your losses? Can you leverage them for a greater good? Drop me an email and let me know about your experience. Tell me your wisdom story: elle@wisdomout.com
Wisdom Out!
Elle
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Update on the Book "Wisdom Out"
Please visit the "Meet the Wisdom Makers" page http://wisdomout.com/wisdom_makers.html to learn about the Wisdom Makers. Many of them have websites you can visit to learn more about what they are doing in the world and to see how you can be involved.
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DO YOU KNOW SOMEONE WHO IS WISE? I would LOVE to receive your nomination of a wise one, from anywhere in the world. AND, DON'T MISS THE CHANCE to nominate a "wise couple." You know, those amazing couples who navigate the world together in remarkable ways. These interviews will be videotaped. Please visit the nomination page at http://wisdomout.com/nominate.html.
Although I conduct many interviews of the Wisdom Makers™ by phone, I
will be in the following cities in coming months and would love to do a
face-to-face interview with someone you think is wise:
September: Maui, Las Vegas, and Los Angeles
October: Boston, Los Angeles area, and Phoenix
October 14-16: Summit of Sages Conference for Nurses, Minneapolis, MN. Maya Angelou will deliver the opening keynote. To learn more, please visit http://www.nursing.umn.edu/Densford/Participate/SummitSages/home.html
October 23-26: Seventh Annual International Transformative Learning Conference, Albuquerque NM. I will present a white paper titled: From Adversity to Wisdom: How people experience transformative learning to redeem adversity and serve a greater good. I will also facilitate a workshop where participants can make a Descansos to identify the redemptive sequence in their life. And finally, I will present a poster session where I will showcase the work of Wisdom Out and all of the Wisdom Makers. To learn more or to register to attend the conference, please visit: http://tlc2007.unm.edu/
November: Denver, Phoenix, and Boston
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Wisdom Quote
"Loss is nothing else but change and change is nature's delight."
--Marcus Aurelius
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