Wisdom Strategy
"Wisdom Sustains Others"
"The moment we cease to hold each other, the sea engulfs us and the light goes out."
-American Writer James Baldwin (1924-1987)
As a kid, my favorite book was Misty of Chincoteague. It is a beautifully written story about a horse called Misty. One time I thought I heard my father call me "Misty" from across the room and I actually remember do-ing my first double take, wrenching my neck in the process. With five kids in the family at the time (a few years later it was up to seven), I knew my father didn't have the time or the energy to note many details about my sisters and I, much less know the name of the horse in my favorite book and then have the clever idea to use it as a nickname for me. But, oh, it was a happy moment! Then reality set in and he corrected my misperception: he wasn't calling me "Misty" but "Miss. T" and the "T" stood for trouble. While, "trouble" might have been a fair word to describe me once in a while, "Misty" made me feel brilliant--incapable of trouble.
The Wisdom Makers are generous with words and actions that acknowledge others. They are not afraid the other person will get a big head or become too big for their britches, or become lazy. At the same time, the Wisdom Makers have a reality orientation toward life--if something goes wrong, they don't pretend that it hasn't. But, they tend to view mistakes in themselves and others as opportunities to learn and grow. As a result they have a way of celebrating even the missteps. When they shine this light on others, the resulting feeling is like a blessing. Physician and author Rachel Naomi Remen once told a group she was speaking to, "When you bless someone you expand them. You offer them a place of refuge from everything that conspires to diminish them."
A few years ago, Wisdom Maker Doug Reeves rescued a piece of artwork out of his school age son's backpack and as a surprise, had it professionally framed. This simple act let his son know he is part of the world like no one else is.
Another Wisdom Maker, Catherine Munson of Marin, CA remembers her adult children when they were teens. She always let them know she was interested in them and their lives. She says, "As kids become teens your relationship with them changes. A rather pleasant child becomes demanding or withdraws and pulls away. Instead of getting upset about it, ask them what they are thinking and feeling. The reason behind it all could be quite wonderful--they could be forming an opinion and taking a position about something that matters to them. They are growing up."
Wisdom Maker John Simpkins shows us how everyone involved wins from this practice. When John was growing up, the adults in his family said all doors are open to him. He was told he was capable of anything he wanted to do--the sky was the limit. John says, "When you believe something, even if it isn't entirely true, you can naively go out and make it all happen." John did exactly that, and today he offers empowering lessons to his law students, the nations in Africa he helps to develop constitutions, and now, his own young son.
In her book, When Things Fall Apart: Heart Advice for Difficult Times, Pema Chodron (1997) writes, "Unwise selfish people think only of themselves, and the result is confusion and pain. Wise selfish people know that the best thing they can do for themselves is to be there for others. As a result, they experience joy." Wisdom-seeking people mindfully and deliberately develop a habit of sustaining others and in doing so, sustain themselves.
Who sustains your presence in the world and equally important, what has that allowed you to do? Who needs you to sustain them with your attention, your feedback or recognition, your love? How will you do that? What might this allow them to do? Drop me an email and let me know about your experience. Tell me your wisdom story: elle@wisdomout.com
Wisdom Out!
Elle
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Update on the Book "Wisdom Out"
Please visit the "Meet the Wisdom Makers" page of our web site at http://www.wisdomout.com/wisdom_makers.html to learn about the new people I have interviewed for the book, including: Catherine Munson, Charlene Teters, Wallace Howard, Bonnie Bishop, DJ Jones, Jean Deeds, Teresa McCoy, Edward Rastovski and Boo Thomas. Many Wisdom Makers also have websites you can visit to learn more about what they are doing in the world and to see how you can be involved.
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October 23-26: Seventh Annual International Transformative Learning Conference, Albuquerque NM. At the conference I will present a white paper titled: From Adversity to Wisdom: How people experience transformative learning to redeem adversity and serve a greater good. I will also facilitate a workshop where participants can make a Descansos to identify the redemptive sequence in their life. And finally, I will present a poster session where I will showcase the work of Wisdom Out and all of the Wisdom Makers. To learn more or to register to attend the conference, please visit: http://tlc2007.unm.edu/
October 14-16: Summit of Sages Conference for Nurses, Minneapolis, MN. Maya Angelou will deliver the opening keynote. To learn more, please visit http://www.nursing.umn.edu/Densford/Participate/SummitSages/home.html
DO YOU KNOW SOMEONE WHO IS WISE? I would LOVE to receive your nomination of a wise one, from anywhere in the world. Please visit the nomination page at http://www.wisdomout.com/nominate.html. Although I conduct many interviews of the Wisdom Makers™ by phone, I will be in the following cities in coming months and would love to do a face-to-face interview with someone you think is wise:
July: Chicago, Denver, San Francisco Bay Area
August: Eugene OR, Barstow CA, Waterbury CT, Maui HI
September: Maui HI
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Wisdom Quote
"Tell me who admires and loves you, and I will tell you who you are."
--Charles Augustin Sainte-Beuve
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