BobBattleLaw.com's Ho Ho Holiday Newsletter: Part 2
December 2010
Greetings!
When I promised in my Newsletter last Friday that I would be sending another Newsletter, the Ultimate Holiday Guide email on Monday, I am sure that most of you saw an email sent late Friday afternoon during the holiday season and figured that I was hitting the egg nog way too hard. You probably felt  that my promise had about as much chance of becoming a reality as Rex Grossman did of starting at quarterback ahead of Donovan McNabb or Bernie Madoff's victims had of recovering a dime. (Bernie's lawyer to Bernie in jail. "Great news your restitution has been reduced by $10 billion dollars. Now you only owe $10 billion.") Well, here it is as promised,  so come all ye faithful and enjoy this festive holiday newsletter.

Still looking for that last second gift? Give the gift of laughter (See column to the right for the details!)

 


Great Gifts for Geeks-
The Magic Gloves & the Magic Pen


Yes, I am a technology geek. I have twice been asked to be considered as a presenter for the American Bar Association's ABA TECHSHOW, but had to decline because of other engagements. In 2011, I am pumped that the local Apple Store in Short Pump Mall has asked me to do a demonstration on using Macs in a Law Practice. I'll let you know when we have a specific date. So, for that perfect gift for the Propeller Head in your life, here are my  recommendations.

1) The Magic Gloves
These gloves are perfect for those of us who like to run and listen to music on our iPhone or iPod when it is cold outside. The first 3 fingertips work perfectly on your touch screen while the silicone beads on palms and fingertips of the gMagic Glovelove help you to grip your iGadget of choice. These gloves are also useful for driving around in the car if you want to use the pre-sets on your car radio. And of course, the look is that timeless hobo/panhandler chic that will cause your wife to roll her eyes every time she sees you put them on! Get "the Urban" from Telefingers.com for $19.99.
Speaking of running and the iPhone, the Nike+ GPS app is a must. It records your time, rate and distance on your run and also plays any songs on your iPhone. No devices to be put on your shoes, wrist or anywhere. The cost for this app- $1.99.
That's not a misprint, sports fans, a buck 99 for this awesome app!
2) The Magic Pen
This pen works exactly as advertised and is indispensible in meetings and in court (it's also great for students to use to take notes in class). The Echo Smartpen from Livescribe.com allows you to record what is being said as you are writing notes. Later, when you tap on your notes, it will play back exactly what was being said as you were writing. You can upload your notes and attached audio to your computer. Any
 

Echo Livescribe


time t
here is audio being recorded while you were taking notes, the notes are in bold and when you click on the notes, it will play back what was being said as you were writing. There is even additional software that allows you to change your printed notes into typed notes! The 8 GB model will hold up to 800 hours of audio and sells for $199. The 4 GB model is currently on sale for $149.


Bad Gift Ideas
UR PortaPotty
Richmond Spiders Port-a-Potty
Here are 2 gifts that will leave the recipients saying, "Oh, you shouldn't have. No, really, you shouldn't have!"

My law school classmate Jim Miller has done a phenomenal job as Athletic Director at the University of Richmond. The Spiders just unveiled a beautiful new on-campus football stadium. They were FCS national champions in football in 2008 and their basketball program appears to be headed for the NCAA tournament again. Spider-mania
is at an all time high here in Richmond.

Wondering what to get that University of Richmond fan on your list? Thinking that they must have 1 of everything in the U of R Bookstore by now? Here's what you have been waiting for- the University of Richmond Port-a-Potty! Those wide-eyed, open-mouthed stares you get from the neighbors when you plant this beauty in your front yard- pure jealousy! Screw the Homeowner's Association by-laws, your yard is going to smell like team spirit.


OK, boys and girls, say the punch line to this lame joke with me- what time is it when your clock reads "18:99?" That's right- time for a new clock! Hey ohhh! Yes, 5 year-old Emmett Battle's first clock, purchased at Target was not quite up to Swiss standards! So, unless you want to party like it's 1899, this clock is useless. We assured Emmett that we found a nice home for his clock- on the Island of the Misfit Toys.

Emmett Clock
Worst Clock Ever


The Battle Brothers teach their Dad the true meaning of Christmas

My wife Ellen and I decided to try something a little bit different this year to help teach the kids the proper spirit of Christmas.  We decided that we would have a family meeting with our boys, Conor, age 9, and Emmett, age 5, and we would tell them about a bunch of wonderful charities and have a "draft" of which charities we were going to send our money to. We wanted to teach our kids the importance of giving to needy charities.


Our grand plan got off to a very rough start.  When Ellen started to explain our plan to Emmett about our meeting, Emmett immediately blurted out "I don't want to give away any of my toys!" Good grief, Charlie Brown.


Lucy Van Pelt: I know how you feel about all this Christmas business, getting depressed and all that. It happens to me every year. I never get what I really want. I always get a lot of stupid toys or a bicycle or clothes or something like that.
Charlie Brown: What is it you want?
Lucy Van Pelt: Real estate.


When we actually sat down for our family meeting, the boys were very excited.  We discussed about 15 different charities, explained what they do, and asked the boys if they had any questions about them.  We then had our draft where each one went around and got to pick a charity to which we would make a donation.  Unbeknownst to the boys, we had already given to most of these charities anyway. When we asked Conor what charity he wanted to donate to first, he responded "That's easy- the Special Olympics. My friend Addie brought her medal in to class to show us.  I know what  great things they do."  Just a brief explanation.  Addie is a sweet, joyous young girl who was in Conor's first grade class.  She has Down syndrome and it was heartwarming to watch how Conor's first grade classmates embraced her three years ago.  I've got to admit, Conor's words really got to me.  If you looked close enough, you might have noticed Conor's old man getting a bit choked up.


He puzzled and puzzled till his puzzler was sore.

Then the Grinch thought of something he hadn't before!

Maybe Christmas, he thought, doesn't come from a store.

Maybe Christmas... perhaps... means a little bit more!
 

Next came Emmett.

 

And what happened then? Well, in Whoville they say

 that the Grinch's small heart grew three sizes that day.

And then - the true meaning of Christmas came through,

 and the Grinch found the strength of 10 Grinches, plus two!

 

Emmett stated, "I want to give to the place for girls with no homes. Everyone should have a home." Emmett was referring to the Jackson-Field Home for Girls, a local residential facility for at-risk adolescent females. Ellen and I looked at each other and smiled. Next, both boys said, "Let's give to Mary Kate's orphanage." Cousin Mary Kate Battle, a 2010 Notre Dame graduate, is a young woman who "walks the walk." She is spending the next 2 years working at the Farm of the Child Orphanage in Honduras

Our plan was a big hit and, as is often the case, the kids were the ones who showed the grown-ups the true meaning of Christmas.


Welcome, Christmas, bring your cheer. Cheer to all Whos far and near.

Christmas Day is in our grasp so long as we have hands to clasp.

 Christmas Day will always be just as long as we have we.

Welcome Christmas while we stand, heart to heart and hand in hand.

Grinch Photto
Have a Merry Christmas. To my Jewish friends, I hope you had a happy Chanukah. For all my goy readers who  always wish their Jewish co-workers happy Chanukah on the last work day before Christmas, the dates of Chanukah vary from year-to-year. Chanukah ended this year on December 9. Thus, wishing someone happy Chanukah on December 23 is the equivalent of someone walking into your office on January 8 and wishing you a Merry Christmas. Next year, you will be good to go- Chanukah 2011 runs from December 20 to 28.
Sincerely,

Bob Battle
Virginia DUI & Reckless Driving Speeding Lawyer
P.S. See all past Newsletters at my Email Archive at www.BobBattleNews.com
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OK, maybe you need a little something else besides the priceless newsletter subscription, please see below for my Ultimate Holiday Guide-

great gifts for geeks and some really bad gift ideas.


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In This Issue
Bad Gift Ideas
The True Meaning of Christmas
Bob's Websites