BobBattleLaw.com SumSumSummertime 2010 Newsletter
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Greetings!

If no news is good news, then it has been a banner year for the BobBattleLaw.com Newsletter! I knew it was time to crank out another Newsletter when my neighbor, Fuzzy Graeber, mentioned to me at the annual Kanawha Pool opening night party that he thought he had been accidentally deleted from my Newsletter list. Nope, Fuzzy, I just haven't written any lately. Again, it is all planned- like all great entertainers, I always leave 'em wanting more.

The New BobBattleLaw.com Website Design is Finished
Actually, I have been very busy. First, I have been in court constantly since Virginia is still trying to solve their budget deficit by charging more people with Reckless Driving Speeding and DUI. I have completely re-designed my website, adding a widescreen, high definition look that is easier to navigate for those charged with DUI & Reckless Driving Speeding in Virginia. Let me know what you think- I have even added video on my DUI page about "Dumptruck" DUI lawyers- those lawyers who talk a good game and "dump" their clients off on the trial date and plead guilty.
Check it out and let me know what you think- www.BobBattleLaw.com.
As always thanks to the geniuses at Foster Web Marketing and Fairfax Video Studios. You folks are the best.
 
WARNING- Gruesome photos of Horrific Bob-L-Injury!
BobL No feetFor those readers who are on the squeamish side, please avert your eyes from this near-tragic decapitation of my world- travelling alter ego, Bob-L Head. If you are doing what most readers do and read this Newsletter to the kiddies before bedtime, please assure them (as you'll see below) that Bob-L is as good as new and that he is not going to show up as Darth Vader like Anakin Skywalker did after he got barbecued!
The accounts are a bit sketchy, but here are the details I have been able to "piece together." Bob-L was on his second trip to China, checking out the "Love Without Boundaries" home watching the amazing care being given to orphaned and impoverished children, when he was invited to the home of a local family. As he began to enter the home, he was informed that it is a tradition to remove his shoes and to not do so would show a lack of respect for the family. Bob-L was taken aback: "My shoes aren't dirty, they're never dirty- look at me, I don't ever even so much as loosen my tie!"
Things rapidly deteriorated from there and ultimately Bob-L, unfortunately decided to paraphrase Charlton Heston-"Tell the man of the house that  he can take my shoes off... when he pries them from my cold, dead feet."
You can figure out what happened next by looking at the picture above. Suffice it to say that Bob-L flew to China in first class and he returned in baggage!

Bob-L Gets Himself Back Together- Better than Ever
We want beer
After declining surgery with acupuncture in China and opting instead for good old "comfortably numb" anesthesia back in the USA, Bob-L is back in a big way. In April, he was photographed in Dallas with his good friend Joan Rivers. So the question is- which one has had more work done- Bob-L or Joan?

When asked what they talked about, Bob-L said Joan asked him "Hey, could you tell your friend Richard Seppala to take his hand off my butt!"

 
Do a Little Dance, Make a Little Love


We want beerWe want beer
 
        KC                                        Legacy

Yes, that is Bob-L hanging out with your boogie man- KC of KC and the Sunshine Band. KC was in Northern Virginia for the Celebrate Fairfax Festival and the 2 old friends got together to reminisce about the last days of disco.

And speaking of "doing a little dance" Bob-L shows off his backstage pass to watch "So You Think You Can Dance" finalist Legacy do his amazing BBoy dance routine. It was Bob-L who taught Legacy the "dance on your head" move that wowed the judges in his solo dance routines. (Legacy is pretty amazing- my Facebook page has a link to one of his break dancing routines. Not my Facebook friend? Click on the link at the bottom of the Newsletter.)

So has all this talk about dancing given you a bad case of Dance Fever? (Whatever happened to Danny Terrio?) Well if you have always wanted to learn to swing dance, jitterbug, lindy hop, disco, shag (yeah baby) and live in the DC area, have I got the cure for your summertime blues. Lawyer and loyal Newsletter reader Tom Koerner is the king of swing- he offers the best dance classes on the eastern seabord. To learn more about Tom, go to his website www.gottaswing.com. (I swear, this is legit, I am not leading you to some "swingers" website.) Here is Tom showing his moves below.
TomKoerner
See, I told you it was a dancing website- the "swingers" websites have similar photos only the people there are wearing birthday suits and not zoot suits!
Sincerely,
 

Bob Battle
Robert E. Battle, P.C.
Trivia
Winners
We had 2 winners in last Newsletter's Trivia Contest, both guessing that David McCallum was the actor who played the scientist whose head turned huge as he "evolved" into the future in the "6th Finger" episode. We want beer
 Congratulations to Jack Coffey and Ron Evry, you have shown you are as big of a geek as Bob Battle and your Bob-L Heads are coming next week. To 3rd place finisher Mike Durgavich, wah wahhh, ohhh, soo close. Maybe next time Slugger. By the way, David McCallum went on to star in "The Man from U.N.C.L.E." His co-star Robert Vaughn on that classic spy series has gone on to star in Marks & Harrison and assorted plaintiff's Personal Injury commercials.
Here is Robert Vaughn in a billboard cleverly placed beside a body shop in Charlottesville, Virginia.
Marks-Harrison
I guess Marks & Harrison didn't have KC, Legacy, Joan Rivers or even the oh so elusive Danny Terrio on their iPhones, so they settled for Robert- by the way, the Man from U.N.C.L.E. went off the air 42 years ago!