Yes, it's been a long time between newsletters. I'll be honest, the responses to my last Newsletter- "My Colonoscopy" left me with some serious writers block. (Newsletter Newby? Click here to read the now infamous colonoscopy newsletter) I didn't actually expect so many of my faithful readers to tell me about their colonoscopy!

First, came an email from a good buddy of mine from college who is a doctor telling me that he got his colonoscopy done at the same time as another one of his good friends. This was somewhat amusing as I could imagine these 2 knuckleheads chugging their MoviPrep the night before ("Gentlemen, start your engines!") and then getting out their iPhones and sending gross pictures and/or videos back and forth all night. (Note to all of our women readers- potty jokes are funny for guys from Age 3 until Age Depends Undergarments.)

Next came an email from a former roommate who told me that he and his wife were getting their colonoscopies done on the same date. I'm sorry, this is not romantic. I also pity their high school age son, who will need years of therapy to deal with the "dueling banjos" in their bathrooms the night before.
BUT WAIT, THERE'S MORE...
 Our tallest subscriber, all 6 feet 11 inches of him- once described by legendary Marquette basketball coach and color commentator Al McGuire as "the world's tallest Mexican," wrote to tell me that he was not given enough anesthesia and woke up hearing "Hurry he's waking up!" Having marveled at my friend's ability to drink tequila on many occasions, I don't think an elephant tranquilizer would be guaranteed to keep him down for long.
Sadly none of these stories, including the last "very tall tale" are April Fools jokes and, as you can see, I needed to take a few months off- suffering from a bad case of "too much information."

So since I have already started this Newsletter talking about responses from my readers, the theme of this month's Newsletter will be answering the Most Frequently Asked Questions from the old reader email bag. I would say the top 4 questions are
1) Are you still doing stand-up comedy?
2) Are you still the Redskins' Press Box Announcer?
3) What are your boys like? Are they funny? Smart?
4) Have you been caught on tape impersonating a federal judge, stood up in front of hundreds of church goers on Passion Sunday and proclaimed ,"Father, forgive them, they know not what they do," and been selected to receive a prestigious award from your high school's athletic department? (OK, no one has EVER asked this 4th question, but I'm going to answer it anyway!)