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BobBattleLaw.com's Sporadic, Erratic, yet Always Emphatic Newsletter
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Sizzlin' Summer 4th of July Fireworks Blockbuster Edition (or not!)
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July 2009
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Greetings!
Happy 4th of July. Yeah, I know, not a great idea if my goal is to maximize readership to send it on a day when most folks aren't working. As a matter of fact, by sending this on July 3, I am inviting my email Inbox to explode with auto "out of office" messages. In fact, if you are in your office and just received this email, go ahead and set your email to the auto "out of office" response so everyone won't think you are an unpatriotic workaholic!
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As always- Virginia Police announce 4th of July Driving Crack Down
As a surprise to no one, the Virginia Department of Motor Vehicles issued a Press Release announcing a crack down on Drunk Driving, Aggressive Driving, and Speeding over the 4th of July weekend. Pardon me for yawning, but there is ALWAYS a "crack down" on the Virginia highways- 24/7 365 days a year. How bad is it? In Virginia, on Memorial Day Weekend 2009, 3,000 people were charged with "Reckless Driving" in Virginia- around 42 people per hour- and I guarantee that the vast majority of these were for "Reckless Driving Speeding"- doing above 80 mph in any speed limit or doing 20 mph above any posted speed limit. So how do you avoid getting charged with Speeding or Reckless Driving Speeding without even doing the speed limit? Set your cruise control at 9 miles above the speed limit. Under Virginia law, speeding 1 to 9 mph above the speed limit is only a 3 point offense (as opposed to 4 point 10 to 19 mph above the speed limit tickets or 6 point, criminal misdemeanor Reckless Driving Speeding tickets.) Speeding 1 to 9 mph above the limit is rarely, if ever charged because the police realize that the next guy down the road can be charged with the mother of all speeding tickets- Reckless Driving Speeding. Bob Battle's consumer guide "The Shocking Truth about Reckless Driving Speeding in Virginia" has recently been featured in the Baltimore Sun, WTOP radio in DC and Baltimore and CBS6 News in Richmond. If you or someone you know has received a Reckless Speeding ticket in Virginia, you can obtain an immediate free e-book at www.RecklessBook.com. |
Bob-L Art
For those more refined, culture vultures (aka, the Art Crowd) reading this newsletter ("Art" is a term not usually associated with the BobBattleLaw Newsletter- unless the letter "f" precedes the "art!") However, in an effort to expand and refine this Newsletter and its almost 1 million readers (give or take 999,970) and reach out to those half-dozen loyal readers who do not feature a "Velvet Elvis" or "Dogs Playing Poker" portrait in their living room, I am proud to announce the unveiling of a true piece of Americana on this 4th of July weekend. I am sure everyone is familiar with Norman Rockwell's famous "self portrait." A drawing by Rockwell of Rockwell drawing himself by looking at himself in a mirror. Well (drum roll please) introducing the Bob Battle with Bob-L Head caricature. A caricature of me and a caricature of a bobblehead of me from a picture of me holding a bobblehead of myself. Yeah, I know- BRILLIANT. And yes, there already is a t-shirt of this "instant classic" work of art. 
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Some post-Father's Day comments on Fatherhood
I'm not sure where I first saw this letter- but I certainly think it has a great message for all the dads (and moms) out there. (I love this picture of Conor as a baby - note that his head is right where Curly's head is on my 3 Stooges t-shirt. Also check out the synchronization of our left arms.)
Listen, son: I am saying this as
you lie asleep, one little hand crumpled under your cheek and the red
curls stickily wet on your damp forehead. I have stolen into your room
alone. Just a few minutes ago, as I sat reading my paper in the
library, a stifling wave of remorse swept over me. Guiltily I came to
your bedside.
These are the things I was thinking, son: I had
been cross to you. I scolded you as you were dressing for school
because you gave your face merely a dab with a towel. I took you to
task for not cleaning your shoes. I called out angrily when you threw
some of your things on the floor.
At breakfast I found fault, too. You spilled
things. You gulped down your food. You put your elbows on the table.
You spread butter too thick on your bread. And as you started off to
play and I made for my train, you turned and waved a hand and called,
"Goodbye, Daddy!" and I frowned, and said in reply,
"Hold your shoulders back!"
Then it began all over again in the late
afternoon. As I came up the road I spied you, down on your knees,
playing marbles. There were holes in your stockings. I humiliated you
before your friends by marching you ahead of me to the house. Stockings
were expensive - and if you had to buy them you would be more careful!
Imagine that, son, from a father!
Do you remember, later, when I was reading in the
library, how you came in timidly, with a sort of hurt look in your
eyes? When I glanced up over my paper, impatient at the interruption,
you hesitated at the door.
"What is it you want?" I snapped.
You said nothing, but ran across in one
tempestuous plunge, and threw your arms around my neck and kissed me.
Your small arms tightened with affection that God had set blooming in your heart and which even neglect could not wither. And then you were gone, pattering up the stairs.
Well, son, it was shortly afterwards that my
paper slipped from my hands and a terrible sickening fear came over me.
What has habit been doing to me? The habit of finding fault, of
reprimanding - this was my reward to you for being a boy. I expected
too much of youth. I was measuring you by the yardstick of my own years.
And there is so much that is good and fine and
true in your character. The little heart of yours is as big as dawn
itself over the wide hills. This was shown by your spontaneous impulse
to rush in and kiss me good night. Nothing else matters tonight, son. I have come to your bedside in the darkness, and I have knelt there ashamed!
It is a feeble atonement; I know you would not
understand these things if I told them to you during your waking hours.
But tomorrow I will be a real daddy! I will chum with you, and suffer
when you suffer, and laugh when you laugh. I will bite my tongue when
impatient words come. I will keep saying as if it were a ritual:
"He is but a boy - a little boy!"Of course, being a parent isn't that easy. On our vacation last month, I read the book "The Last Lecture" by the late Randy Pausch. If you aren't familiar with the video or Randy Pausch's inspirational story, you should go to The Last Lecture website. Pausch, who knew he was dying of pancreatic cancer, delivered his lecture titled "Really Achieving Your Childhood Dreams." The lecture, and the book, are really all about being a parent and living your life the right way. Pausch points out the flip side of going easy on your kids: "There's a lot of talk these days about giving children self-esteem.
It's not something you can give; it's something they have to build.
Coach Graham worked in a no-coddling zone. Self-esteem? He knew there
was really only one way to teach kids how to develop it: You give them
something they can't do, they work hard until they find they can do it,
and you just keep repeating the process. It saddens me that many kids today are so coddled. (Getting chewed out at halftime by our football coach) meant something to us... I haven't seen coach Graham since I was a teen, but he just keeps showing up in my head, forcing me to work harder whenever I feel like quitting, forcing me to be better. He gave me a feedback loop for life"
- Randy Pausch
(The Last Lecture)
Of course, the challenge of parenthood is to figure out when to go easy and when to show tough love while always second-guessing yourself and thinking that you are messing your kid up so badly that your kid will wind up as an adult on Jerry Springer or Oprah or building Neverland Ranch 2 and telling the world that they're all screwed up because of their father. Oh well, as comic genius Jeff Stilson says about blaming your parents for being a failure, "'I'm a loser because my father's an alcoholic.' No, your father's an alcoholic because you're a loser." And, finally, speaking of dads, dads who enjoyed a few Budweisers and the 4th of July, I am sure that somewhere in heaven tomorrow, my dad Joe "Bull" Battle will belt out his favorite ribald 4th of July parody "Yank my doodle, it's a dandy." Ah yes, the fruit doesn't fall far from the tree, now does it?! Sincerely, Bob Battle ROBERT E. BATTLE, P.C. 1506 Willow Lawn Drive, Suite 121 Richmond, VA 23230 Bob@BobBattleLaw.com
http://www.BobBattleLaw.com
(804) 673-5600 (866) 853-0023 Fax P.S. Every month I get emails from readers who have forwarded this email to other friends (oh yeah, this email is always viral, baby) and they want to know how the friends can sign-up to receive this Newsletter. Just tell them to click "Join our Mailing List!" below and they get a free lifetime subscription! (As always, I promise I will not sell your information to anyone- unless of course my gambling debts start piling up... again!)
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