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BobBattleLaw.com's Great Newsletter
November 2008 |
| Greetings!
The Big 5-Oh!
Thanks to all those who sent along birthday greetings or partied with me at the Notre Dame-Navy game. Lest you are concerned that this Newsletter will get more "reserved" now that I am a card-carrying AARP member, just let me point out that I am in my office typing this out while wearing my prized black leather High Top Chuck Taylor sneakers. I grow older, not up! As Satchel Paige said:
"Age is a question of mind over matter. If you don't mind, it doesn't matter."
I continue to be amazed at the large amount of people who contact me asking to be added to the vast subscriber list of my newsletter. I still think it is more a reflection on the fact that most business newsletters (and especially law firm newsletters) are painfully boring rather than the fact that this newsletter is going to make people cancel their subscriptions to National Lampoon or stop reading Dave Barry or stop watching Steven Colbert any time soon. (In the land of the blind, the one-eyed man is king!)
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| All I Want for Christmas... |
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| 7 year-old Figures Out Strategy to Double his Net Worth in Horrid Economic Times
My 7 year-old son Conor Battle has discovered an amazing  money-making strategy to double his net worth during these tough economic times. His secret, three simple words- the tooth fairy! That's right Conor has lost four of his baby teeth since school started. At $5.00 a pop he has hauled in $20.00, which he keeps squirreled away for future expenditures on Pokémon trading cards or some other worthwhile investment.
I know that a lot of you are thinking that, even though these are his deciduous* baby teeth, it may be time for dad to replace the Thomas the Tank Engine toothpaste with a brand that has a little bit of fluoride in it. Although the picture of Conor may remind you of a famous Christmas song, I can assure you that his two front teeth are not all that Conor wants for Christmas. (* The reason I threw in the word "deciduous" is because it was one of Conor's spelling words last year in First Grade! There's a TV show titled "Are you Smarter than a 4th Grader?" Sorry, I was wearing the dunce cap for not being smarter than a 1st Grader last year.)
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| Fool Days, fool days, dear old Golden Rule Days |
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Speaking of the Battle brothers, 3 year-old Emmett is in  preschool this year. Although Emmett does have an "s" sound when he speaks, when the s is followed by a consonant it comes out as an "f "sound. Thus, Emmett goes to "fool" three days a week, his teacher is Mrs. Fith, and he is a huge fan of "Fiderman" and "Feed Racer." The piece de resistance comes next Wednesday morning at the annual Trinity Pre-School Thanksgiving Show. Emmett and his classmates will be doing a song about a "bushy tailed firrel." You can bet Dad will be there early, camcorder in hand. |
| Announcing- Newsletter Archives |
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By popular demand (my loyal readers are AWFULLY demanding considering this is a FREE newsletter) and since we have so many "newbie members" who weren't even around with us from the beginning as we anxiously awaited the arrival of the first shipment of bobble heads on that slow boat from China, I have added an archive of my previous newsletters. Thus, anyone can get up to speed on the history of this newsletter. Just click this link and you will see beneath the picture of Gene Simmons of Kiss and Bob-L Head links to all of the other newsletter issues. As I looked back on these previous issues I realized that I had often given "teasers" in newsletters about "coming attractions" and then never actually remembered to follow up on it when I finally got off my butt and wrote another newsletter. (I know you are surprised that I re-read my Newsletters- you already no I doen't bother too prewfreid them!) So to finally end the suspense and drama for all those patient readers, I will clear up the 3 biggest Newsletter "cliffhangers." Drum roll please...! |
| 1) Bob Battle Bobble Head Brunch Winner and "Winner" |
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 A)Took Bob-L the Greatest Distance Winner
Sandi Glass took Bob-L to China from Fairfax, VA to easily outdistance the other contestants and win the first annual prize. Like the real Bob Battle, Bob-L Head can get on your nerves after a long trip and Sandi contemplates launching Bob-L off the Great Wall of China. There was some controversy in the choice- since Bob-L was made in China, shouldn't that be 0 miles? However, Sandi was in China to visit the Love Without Boundaries Cleft Healing Home. She is the Cleft Healing Home Coordinator. Love Without Boundaries is a worldwide group of volunteers who have realized that people with a pure love for helping children can truly make a difference. They work to brighten the lives of orphaned and impoverished children in China. 
The Cleft Healing Home takes care of babies born with a cleft palate and cares for them until they are big enough and strong enough to get surgery, and, hopefully, a loving family to adopt the child. For her prize, BobBattleLaw sent a check to Sandi's wonderful charity. To learn more, click Love Without Boundaries.
B) Joker Bobblehead Winner
If you are not among the thousands who attended the live Bob Battle Bobblehead Brunch event, or attended and were just too blotto at the event to remember who won the infamous Joker Bobble Head Award, the winner was Elliott Spitzer. The Award is presented to a lawyer who disgraced the legal profession or anyone guilty of undeserved lawyer bashing. (Click here to read about nominees in the March 2008 Special Newsletter).
All of the dubious nominees got votes but Elliott was the clear favorite. Elliott was a big winner all around, I even saw that he won first place on the E Network special on "the most infamous political sex scandals of all time," beating out Bill Clinton, Gary Hart, and that congressman from Idaho who likes to stomp his feet in men's room bathrooms and plead guilty to soliciting sex although he's innocent and had no idea what he was doing. (I hate it when that happens!)
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| 2) Awards, Awards and More Awards |
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As I stated above, I have left unanswered some of the teasers that have occurred in previous newsletters. One such example was when I promised in my March 2008 Newsletter to write an article about National awards that were won by "Bob Battle, Bob's Beautiful Bride, and Bob's Bosom Buddy." I was referring to the following:
1) I was informed that I was selected for inclusion in two different lawyer honors programs: "The Martindale-Hubbel Bar Register of Preeminent Lawyers" and "The American Trial Lawyers Association's Top 100 Trial Lawyers for the State of Virginia." So, if for some strange reason you ever are looking at either of these books, will you see my profile? Not a chance. I pocketed the money they wanted me to fork over and framed the letters they sent saying I was chosen. (It will never happen, but I would love to be asked by a potential client if I was in the top 100 Trial Lawyers like "Lawyer X" they were considering. I would show him my letter and say I turned it down and Lawyer X must be Number 101!)
2) My beautiful bride, Dr. Ellen Palen of Virginia Family Physicians, was selected to receive the 2007 Pfizer Teacher Development Award based on her scholastic achievement, leadership qualities and dedication to family medicine. The $1,500 award, supported by Pfizer Medical Humanities Initiatives, recognizes community-based physicians who have chosen to teach family medicine on a part-time basis. Ellen mentors women medical students who are interested in becoming family doctors. (In case you were wondering, the Pfizer award did not include any "little blue pills" for Ellen's 50 year-old hubby, thank you very much.) Ellen also found the time to pass her Boards this summer and remains a Board Certified Family Doctor for the next decade.
3) My March 2007 Newsletter raved about the amazing true crime story my good friend Kevin Flynn had written about an ugly murder case he prosecuted as an Assistant U.S. Attorney in D.C. Well, I was not alone in the praise for Kevin's book. On January 18, 2008, the Mystery Writers of America named Relentless Pursuit as one of five nominees for its prestigious Edgar Allen Poe Award in the category of "fact crime." The Edgar Awards honor the best in mystery fiction, non-fiction, television and film published or produced in 2007.
The book has been released in paperback and is available at leading bookstores near you and at all major online booksellers.
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| 3) Stone Circle of Friends FunRaiser |
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The BobBattleLaw.com FunRaiser was, as predicted, a lot of laughs for a great cause, the Stone Circle of Friends Myotonic Muscular Dystrophy charity. I had pledged to match any donations from my Newsletter subscribers up to $1,000 and, I am happy to report that donations hit that mark and I gladly passed on a check to the Stone's wonderful charity. I was even thrilled to see money come in from as far away as California. (Thank you LA personal injury lawyer John Bisnar!)
Special kudos to Brett Leake, who donated his amazing comedic talents. Brett also won a Virginia Governor's Caregiver Recognition Award. Brett, who has Muscular Dystrophy, cares for his father, who also has Muscular Dystrophy in Louisa County, VA. On Father's Day, The Richmond Times Dispatch featured Brett and his dad in a moving article. I CHALLENGE YOU (yeah YOU!)- If you are feeling sorry for yourself because your portfolio has been shrinking or the holidays stress you out, please click on this link to the article about Brett. Then, when you are on the web page, right under the author's name is a link titled "SLIDESHOW:Comedy and Caregiving." Click it and listen to Brett's words OR watch Todd Stone's moving video about his sons' Muscular Dystrophy by clicking here. They are both short and worth the effort and they really help to put everything in perspective. We all have a lot to be thankful for. Happy Thanksgiving. |
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Sincerely,
Bob Battle
Robert E. Battle, P.C. |
| More Books |
1) Bob Battle has written his 3rd Consumer Guide about Virginia Traffic Law. Thanksgiving is not a big weekend for DUI Charges, but a huge one for Reckless Driving/Speeding Charges. The book "The Shocking Truth About Reckless Driving Speeding in VA" is available as a Free E-Book at www.RecklessBook.com
2) My friend and fellow Scorpio, Alexis Neely (Happy birthday) has written an essential book for any parent with children about Estate Planning titled "Wear Clean Underwear." If you are a parent with minor children, you owe it to them to get this book and act on it.
3) The man, the myth, the legend, PA Asset Protection Lawyer Dave Frees gave an amazing talk at a seminar I was attending with my wife about protecting your assets. Although the book I purchased was titled "Asset Protection Interview Transcripts," I have spoken to Dave about re-titling the book as "Frees Your Assets Off!" OK, OK, I made that up, but you gotta admit it's a great title for a book... OR a rock band! |
| Offer Expires: What offer? Seriously, this advice is priceless! |
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